Oxymorons

---

Statements that are self-contradictory, self-referential or paradoxical

• A little pain never hurt anyone
• A Users Handbook of Hard-to-Remember Mnemonics
• A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on
• Act natural
• Am I seeing things, or is that a mirage?
• By definition, one divided by zero is undefined
• Cliches are a dime a dozen - avoid them like the plague
• Do I strike you as a violent person?
• Don't let your willpower get the better of you
• Dyslexics of the world, untie!
• Each class of men is created equal
• Ear-piercing while you wait
• Eschew obfuscation
• Everybody generalises
• Eye abject two awl homonyms
• He speaks Esperanto like a native
• Hello, I must be going
• I advocate furtherance of the status quo
• I can resist everything but temptation
• I can't remember having a more memorable time
• I may be schizophrenic, but at least I'll always have each other
• I started out with nothing, and still have most of it left
• I told you a million times, don't exaggerate
• I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure
• I would have postponed this, but I never got around to it
• I would not belong to a club that would have me as a member
• I'm going to commit suicide or die trying
• I'm not going to say "I told you so"
• If ignorance isn't bliss, I don't know what it is
• If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me
• Include me out
• It goes without saying that ......
• It's bad luck to be superstitious
• It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one
• Jesus was born in 4 B.C.
• Manners are the noises that you don't make when eating soup
• May I ask a question?
• Nepotism is OK as long as you keep it in the family
• No one goes there anymore, it's too crowded
• Patience will come to he who waits for it
• Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry
• Thank God I'm an atheist
• The doctor told me to take something for my kleptomania
• This report is filled with omissions
• Those who forget this sentence are condemned to reread it
• Well-preserved ruins
• Who can count the cost of innumeracy?
• You simply must stop taking advice from other people