What I learned by watching Babylon 5

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• Don't argue with superior beings.
• Don't shoot people: The paperwork is a pain in the butt.
• Sometimes Money and Power don't matter.
• Know what you want in case somebody asks.
• There's enough guilt in the world to go around without grabbing for more.
• A hot jallah is better than Zima anyday!
• Know all the laws and read the fine print.
• No one is precisely what they appear to be.
• Sometimes you are destined to spend the rest of your life paying for your mistakes.
• The only truth in war is that people die.
• If a GROPO tells you they're not scared they're either lying or dead.
• "Why not" is a perfectly good reason.
• Sometimes even Shadows can show us the way home.
• Governments deal with matters of convenience, not conviction.
• The future isn't what it used to be.
• Beware of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
• Go to the bathroom before you leave.
• Bend the rules, but don't break them.
• Sometimes the adventure comes to you.
• The power of one mind can change the universe.
• If you're making an encounter suit, design it so you can get into it quickly.
• There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom.
• Share your second favorite thing in the universe with a friend.
• Look forward to the day when you have cleansed the universe of your enemy and carved their bones into flutes for your children to play.
• Put the emphasis on Pleasure.
• Half a dream is better than none.
• The hunter and the hunted are not well defined.
• Diplomacy is not a real job.
• It'll take more than 100 years to evolve a better human.
• Ivonova is god.
• Love knows no borders.
• If you offer someone a body part to slit, make certain it doesn't have a major artery.
• Never hand someone a gun unless you're sure where they'll point it.
• Sometimes "peace" is another word for surrender.
• If you have to have sex with an alien, make sure you do it YOUR way!
• Nothing beats a hot shower with real water.
• The best way to understand someone is to fight him, make him angry, that's when you see the real person.
• Somebody should have labeled the future 'Some assembly required.'
• Of all things in life, females are the finest.
• Stay close to the Vorlon.
• Know all there is to know about your station.
• Find something worth living for instead of something worth dying for.
• Secrets have a way of getting out.
• Don't touch unless you mean it.
• Grab any chance you can get to take out a ship.
• Reading is not substitute for experience.
• Don't make promises life won't let you keep.
• When you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy.
• When the avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
• You cannot serve larger ideals by compromising smaller ones.
• Laughter is better than pills for what ails you.
• Retribution in inevitable.
• There's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.
• When watching someone, use both eyes. You'll need them.
• Nobody is pure.
• At the year's end, count how many people have survived and celebrate your good fortune.
• If your dinner crawls off your plate, put it back and tell it to stay put.
• Some things we are not ready for.
• All beings are defined by their capacity and need for love.
• Always leave a little room for people to disappoint you.
• Say a prayer for the dying; say half a prayer for the agnostics.
• Ignore the propaganda, focus on what you see.
• Express your feelings.
• The third principle of sentient life (i.e. the capacity for self-sacrifice the conscious ability to over-ride evolution and self-preservation for a cause, a loved one, or a friend.
• It will all end in fire.
• Calling it a "food plan" doesn't help.
• Sure is for people with nothing on the line.
• Beware magic tricks involving bartops.
• Wear loose shoes and remember how to dance.
• Sometimes, the necessary thing isn't the right thing.
• Life is life, whether it's wrapped in skin, scales, or feathers.
• A herring is just a herring, but a good cigar is a Cuban.
• Trust individuals, not organizations.
• Stay away from airlocks.
• If you can't put a bag over his head, then just pull the wool over his eyes.
• Don't argue if it's kosher, just eat it.
• Confess your love, now, while you still have a chance.
• Sometimes the act of searching is more important than what you're searching for.
• Never fear answers; Fear running out of questions.
• Talk softly and carry a big stick.
• The future isn't what it used to be.
• A stroke of the brush does not guarantee art from the bristles.
• Sooner or later . . . BOOM!
• The only good na'kaleen is a dead na'kaleen.
• Don't believe everything you see and hear, escpecially the promos for next week.
• There is beauty in the dark.
• Properly used two meter long genitals can beat four aces.
• Don't assume anything is just decoration.
• If your food is still crawling you know you should cut down.
• Beware Shadows. They move when you're not looking.
• Some favours come at too high a price.
• The universe runs through the complex interweaving of energy, matter, and enlightened self interest.
• The Universe knows what it's doing.
• Fasten, then zip.
• Make sure your enemies know pain and know fear before they die.
• Collect reflection, surprise, and terror for the future.
• Don't touch yourself.
• Never play poker with a Centauri.
• Faith manages.
• Some things one must do alone.
• The universe holds many wonders: Be terrified and relieved that we have not explained everything yet.
• There are some matters on which one feels compelled to take a vow of silence.
• Do it Human Style whenever possible.
• Understanding is a three edged sword.
• Make love, not treaties.
• Sometimes the impossible is possible.
• Always have your people watching their people.
• Always watch your back.
• The longer a terrible secret is held, the more painful it is to reveal it.
• Wash your hands after going to the bathroom or playing cards.
• Sometimes, it's just not a good time to sing Kum-by-yah.
• The Hokey Pokey really doesn't mean anything.
• Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and one you should not fall asleep during.
• Some things are better left buried.
• Beauty and the Beast are in the eye of the beholder.
• It is good to have friends, even if only for a little while.
• The currents that look like they will make us stronger, they are the ones that will destroy us.
• The last thing you need is a corporate lawsuit.
• You can learn whatever you like.
• What we hold sacred gives our lives meaning.
• What makes us human is that we care, and because we care, we never stop trying.
• One day they're shooting at you and the next they're taking you out to dinner.
• Similarity is not required to express compassion
• Whatever it is, it can't be that bad.
• Don't take demands: consider requests.
• Have a nice day.
• We create the future with our words, with our thoughts, with our deeds, and with our beliefs.
• Some changes can have unexpected consequences.
• If you don't understand the song, then listen to the music.
• Before waiting for an apology, be sure to check the temperature in hell.
• Crab Nebula.
• Enjoy your first hangover while you still remember it.
• I will listen to Ivanova's suggestions.
• Don't shake hands with strangers.
• Don't stay to watch a great old ship go down.
• The universe doesn't give you any points for doing things easily.
• Saying you did something can be more effective than actually doing it (beep beep!).
• It is noble to strive for the perfection of one's soul and the salvation of one's race.
• We are starstuff.
• Everybody lies, innocent or guilty. Each lies for their own reasons.
• Be wary of gifts from friends you don't know you have.
• We learn by doing, and in the process we fall on our faces occasionally.
• We all do what we do because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
• We shall be remembered in spite of ourselves.
• Even if your choices are limited to Pestilence, Famine, or Death, it is always possible to make a wise decision.
• And finally . . . . All of this is for nothing unless we go to the stars.