SATICHE - 0076

Sniglets

Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.

110 AT THE EQUATOR - n. Any burning sensation experienced directly below the navel when putting on a pair of jeans straight from the dryer.
ABZOT - n. The device in a currency changer that determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not.
ACCORDIONATED adj. - Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
AEROMA - n. The odour emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.
AEROPALMICS - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.
AGONOSIS - n. The syndrome of tuning into "Wide World of Sports" every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.
AIRDIRT - n. A hanging plant that's been ignored for three weeks or more.
ALPONIUM n. (chemical symbol: Ap) - Initial blast of odour upon opening a can of dog food.
AMBIPORTALOUS - adj. Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
ANACEPTION - n. The body's ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room.
ANIMALANCHE - When you kick your stuffed animals in your sleep and they fall all over you or the floor.
ANTALIXIC n. - One who passes over liquorice jellybeans.
ANTICIPARCELLATE - v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious.
AQUADEXTROUS adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
AQUALIBRIUM n. - The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.
ARACHNIDIOT - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.
ATTRINYL - n. A black, bullet-proof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
B+ STAMPEDE - n. The attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it.
BACKSPACKLE n. - Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a frenderless bicycle.
BACKSPUBBLE n. - Dishwater that disappears down one drain of a double sink and comes up the other.
BALDAGE n. - The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.
BANDILE - n. The thin red strip one pulls to release a Band-Aid.
BANECTOMY n. - The removal of bruises on a banana.
BARGARCS n. - The streaks on a car's windshield from faulty wipers.
BARGUE - v. To whine, fuss, and complain a great deal while at the same time trying to get someone to see your point of view. E.g. The young child bargued with his father until his father gave in and let him stay up past his bedtime.
BATHQUAKE n. - The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a certain point.
BAZOOKACIDALTENDENCIES n. - The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the gigantic gum bubble billowing from someone's mouth.
BEAVO n. - A pencil with teeth marks all over it.
BEELZEBUG - Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
BEGATHON - n. A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.
BEVAMETER - n. The distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass, will travel before it falls back to earth.
BIMP - n. A blurry or "double-edged" felt-tip marker
BIXPLEX - n. Psychological block in which a person cannot choose which color of disposable lighter to purchase.
BIZOOS n. - The millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball.
BLEEMUS - n. The disgusting film on the top of soups and cocoa that sit out for too long.
BLIBULA n. - The spot on a dog's stomach which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.
BLINDELIZE - v. To scratch an album beyond recognition trying to manoeuvre it over the record spindle.
BLITHWAPPING v. - Using anything but a hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.
BLIVETT - v. To turn one's pillow over and over, looking for the cool spot.
BLOOAGE n. - The residue left on fingers after using an S.O.S. pad.
BLOSSOR - n. The hair style one has after removing a baseball cap.
BLOTCH - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a BLOTCHSLIDE.
BLURFLE v. - To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.
BOBBLOGESTURE - n. The classroom activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand anyway (before actually being called on).
BOMCA - n. A lubricant derived from the salivary gland used for turning book pages.
BOSLUM - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint pen that separates the top half from the bottom half
BOVILEXIA n. - The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you pass a cow.
BOWLIKINETICS - n. The act of trying to control a released bowling ball by twisting one's body in the direction one wants it to go.
BOZONE - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
BRATTLED - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.
BRAZEL n. - The scratch plate on a matchbook.
BRIMPLET - n. A frayed shoelace that must be moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet.
BRUMBY - n. The fake antique plastic seal on a pretentious whiskey bottle.
BUBBLIC adj. - Addicted to the systematic popping of the bubbles in packing material.
BUCKLINT n. - The fine red and blue threads running through new dollar bills.
BUCULETS - n. The bumper guards on the underside of a toilet seat.
BUGPEDAL - v. To accelerate or decelerate rapidly in an attempt to remove a clinging insect from a car's windshield.
BUMPERGLINTS - n. The small reflective obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track.
BURBULATION n. - The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to catch it before the little automatic light comes on.
BURGACIDE n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
BURSPLOOT - v. To position one's thumb at the end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure.
BUSBLENDER n. - The device at the front of the bus that tosses your fare around for a while, then swallows it.
BUTTNICK n. - The crevice on an ashtray where the cigarette rests.
BUZZACKS n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected
CABNICREEP n. - The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
CAFFIDGET - v. To break up a Styrofoam coffee cup into several hundred pieces after consuming its contents.
CARBONICLES- the tiny drops of soda thrown into the air above your glass after you pour it
CARCREAK - n. Those crackling, tinkling, creaky noises your car makes after you park and turn it off.
CAREENA - n. Any mangled or missing piece of highway guard rail.
CARPERPETUATION n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
CATERPALLOR - The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
CELLOSTATIC adj. - The electrical property of cracker and cigarette wrappers that causes them to stick to your hand.
CEREOALLOCATIVE - adj. Describes the ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal.
CHAIN GANG WALK n. - Activity observed in the footwear section of cheap department stores where the shoes are wired together "for your convenience."
CHALKTRAUMA - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
CHARP - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.
CHECKUARY n. - The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
CHEEDLE - n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
CHEERIO-MAGNETIZATION n. - The tendency of the last four or five cheerios in the bowl to cling together for survival.
CHICLEXODUS n. - Any attempt by a gum ball to sneak out of the chute and roll past the buyer.
CHINGRIP - n. The area where the chin meets the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a pillowcase.
CHIPFAULT n. - The stress point on a potato chip where it breaks off and stays behind in the dip.
CHOCONIVEROUS adj. - The tendency when eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.
CHUBBLE n. - The aerobic movement combining deep-knee bends and sidewards hops used when trying to fit into panty hose.
CHWADS - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
CIGADENT - n. Any accident involving a cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while your fingers slide off and get burned.
CINEMUCK - n. The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theatres.
CIRCLOCRYOGENIC theory - n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of ice water, the cubes will rotate to the back at which point they will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his nose.)
CIRCULOIN technique - n. The popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around the edges first, then works his way toward the middle.
CIRCUMPOPULATE - v. To finish off a Popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag.
CLUMFERT n. - The invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materialises when one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
CLUNES - n., pl. People who just won't go.
COEGGULANT n. - The white things in a plate of scrambled eggs.
COMBILOOPS - n. The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker.
CONAGRAPHS - n. The raised relief squares on an ice cream cone.
CRANIAL STOMP - n. A somewhat primitive dance performed by youngsters trying to step on the heads of their shadows.
CRAYOLLA - n. The area on the refrigerator where kindergarten drawings are displayed.
CREEDLES n. - The colony of microscopic indentations on a golf ball.
CRINKS - n. Crevices and junctions where car wax gets in but doesn't get out.
CRUMMOX - n. The cereal that gets caught between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the leftover amount at the bottom.
CUBELO n. - The one cube left by the person too lazy to refill the ice tray.
CURBSWELL - n. A seismic condition in which the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the curb until the swelling goes down.
CUSHUP - v. To sit down on a couch somehow causing the cushion next to you to rise.
CUSHUP v. - To sit down on a couch somehow causing to cushion next to you to rise.
DARF - n. The least attractive side of a Christmas tree that ends up facing the wall.
DASHO n. - The area between a car's windshield and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc cannot be humanly retrieved.
DECAFLON - The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
DEODOREND - n. The last 1/2 inch of stick deodorant that won't turn up out of the tube, and thus cannot be used without inducing lacerations.
DETERRENCY - n. The ruined currency found in pants pockets after laundering.
DETRUNCUS - n. The embarrassing phenomenon of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming pool.
DETRUNCUS - n. The embarrassing phenomenon of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming pool.
DIGITRITUS - n. Deposits found between the links of a watchband.
DILLRELICT n. - The last pickle in the jar that avoids all attempts to be captured.
DIMP n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
DIPWAVERS - n. People who raise their hands when riding on roller coasters.
DISCONFECT v. To sterilise the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.
DOGNUT n. - The giant nut on the side of a fire hydrant.
DOOR SLINKY N.- The springy device attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from marring the wall.
DOORK - n. A person who always pushes on a door marked "pull" or vice versa.
DOPELER EFFECT - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
DOWNPAUSE n. - The split second of dry weather experienced when driving under an overpass during a storm.
DROOT - n. A Dorito with an unnatural fold in it.
DRYLOWGRAPHS n. - Strange, unintelligible symbols that accompany the washing instructions on clothing labels.
DUBLECTATE - v. To misplace one's eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head.
EASTROTURF n. - The artificial grass in Easter baskets.
ECNALUBMA n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear-view mirror.
EDDIHATE - v. To turn off the stereo or television set when a Crazy Eddie commercial appears.
EFFOREX - n., v. Substitute.
EIFFELITES n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
ELBONICS n. - The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre.
ELECELLERATION n. - The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
ELEVERTIGO n. - The sensation one experiences when an elevator stops or takes off too suddenly.
ELMERDERMIS - n. The white sheath that surrounds the nozzle of a glue dispenser.
EQUATT n. The pastime of trying to balance the light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that the light is half on, half off.
ERDU - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
ESCALASTICIZE - v. To lean against the rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being pulled in t he opposite directions.
ESSOASSO - n. any person who drives through a corner gas station to avoid stopping at the intersection.
EUFIRSTICS n. - Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.
EUNEEBLIC - n. A person who refuses to believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway.
EXASPIRIN n. - Any bottle of pain reliever with an impossible-to-remove cotton wad at the top.
EXECUGLIDE - v. To propel oneself about an office without getting up from the chair.
EXPRESSHOLES n. - People who try to sneak more than the "eight items or less" into the express checkout line.
FACON - n. The fake bacon bits served at cheap salad bars
FAMAMAGE - v. To eliminate any annoying engine noise by simply turning up the volume of the radio.
FENDERBERG - n. The large glacial deposits that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
FERROLES - n. The holes in the bottom of a steam iron.
FETCHPLEX - n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.
FICTATE v. - To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.
FINNAGE - n. The act of watching your money swallowed up as your groceries ride the conveyor belt at the supermarket.
FLAMMABYTE - n. That ever changing address in memory which always causes programs to blow up.
FLANNISTER - n. The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.
FLANNISTER - n. The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.
FLARPSWITCH - n. The one light switch in every house with no function whatsoever.
FLEN - n. The black crusty residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles.
FLEPTIC - adj. The tendency of soup and dog food lids to slip into the can upon opening.
FLIMPS - n. People (usually observed in waiting rooms) who have advanced the Evelyn Wood technique to the point where they can flip through a magazine without ever looking down from the clock.
FLINTSTEP - v. To wind up one's feet before running away in fear. Common among cartoon characters.
FLIRR - n. A photograph that features the camera operator's finger in the corner.
FLOLES - n. The extra holes in notebook paper. Created in the hopes that one day mankind will perfect a "five ring binder."
FLOPCORN n. - The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.
FLOTION n. - The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other person moves.
FLOTTA FACTOR - n. The proven scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve dollars' worth.
FLOWFRIGHT - n. The desperate attempt by a homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down.
FLUGGLING v. - The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket.
FLURRANT - n. The one leaf that always clings to the end of the rake.
FODS - n. Couples at amusement parks who wear identical T-shirts, presumably to keep from getting lost.
FOREPLOY - Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
FOYS - n. Missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that you later find stuck to the underside of your arm.
FRANKFLUID n. - The liquid at the bottom of hot dog packages.
FRAZNIT n. - Any string hanging from an article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to completely unravel.
FRUST n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
FRUSTRA n. - The special plastic used in the manufacture of fast-food ketchup packets.
FUFFLE - v. To assume, when dining out, that you are making things easier on the waitress by using the phrase "when you get a chance..."
FURBLING - v. Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only person in line.
FURBULA n. - The designated chewing area on a dog's back.
FURNIDENTS n. - The indentations that appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been removed.
FURTERUS ZONE - n. The empty stretches of bun on either end of a hot dog.
GANGLOOT n. - Person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to impress people.
GAPIANA - n. The unclaimed strip of land between the "you are now leaving" and "welcome to" signs when crossing state lines.
GARMITES n. Those items of clothing that fit perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home.
GAZINTA - n. Mathematical symbol for division; also the sound uttered when dividing out loud. (Example: "Four gazinta eight twice.")
GENDERPLEX - n. The predicament of a person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated bathroom
GERTATIOUS - adj. Having the adolescent fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean being dragged under.
GIBBLE - n. The sliding keyhole cover on a car trunk.
GIMPLEXUS - n. The rear area of the thighs, which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days.
GIRAFFITI - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
GIZZLEDIPPLERS - n. Those annoying waving hands seen on the back of Winnebagos (placed there by people too lazy to be friendly on their own).
GLACKETT n. - The noisy ball inside a spray-paint can.
GLADHANDLING n. To attempt, with frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a plastic-sandwich or trash bag.
GLAMP - n. The telescopic device used to retrieve golf balls from ponds.
GLANTICS n. - Two people, who, while making out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other is looking.
GLARPO n. The juncture of the ear and skull where pencils are stored.
GLASSABLE - n. anything that a parent tells a child not to go near because it can be broken (especially something made of glass)
GLEEMITES - n. Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.
GLEEMULE n. One unit of toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle.
GLIBIDO - All talk and no action.
GLUTETIC CHAIR - adj. A twentieth- century design chair, found most often in movie theatres. The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it down with his rear.
GNARMBLUM - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end of the elbow.
GRACKLES n. The wrinkles that appear on the body after staying in water too long.
GRANTNAP - n. The extra five minutes of sleep you allow yourself that somehow makes all the difference in the world.
GREEDLING v. - Pretending to read the inscription on the birthday card when you really just want to know how much the check is for.
GREELITE - n. The eerie glow that emanates from beneath escalator steps.
GREELITE n. The eerie glow that emanates from beneath escalator steps.
GRINION n. - The unsightly indentation in the middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.
GRINTIGER n. - The numbered code on the back of a greeting card that, when deciphered, reveals the price.
GRIPTION n. The end of a chicken drumstick which always gives the appearance of having more chicken on it.
GRISKNOB - n. The end of a chicken drumstick which always gives the appearance of having more chicken on it.
GROMAXES n. The inside area of the knees used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map.
GUMMERATOR n. - The pointed rubber object on the end of some toothbrushes.
GURMLISH n. The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth.
GWEEK - n. A coat hanger recycled as a car aerial.
GYROPED - n. A kid who cannot resist spinning around on a diner stool.
HACULA - n. The last few inches of tape measure or lawn mower cord that refuses to rewind automatically.
HANGLE - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
HANGLE - n. A cluster of coat hangers.
HEMPANNANT - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle.
HOARAXIOMIST - n. A Person who reasons about the meaning of programs.
HOUNDWOUNDING n. - Canine act of circling a spot three or four times before settling on it.
HOZONE - n. The place where one sock in every laundry load disappears to.
HUDNUT - n. The bolt left over when one has finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine.
HYDRALATION - n. Acclimating oneself to a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee, knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck.
HYSTIOBLOGINATION - n. The act of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and shaking it.
ICISION - n. Delicate operation performed on Neapolitan-flavored ice cream in which one entire flavor is precisely and systematically removed.
IDIOLOCATOR - n.The symbol on a mall or amusement park map representing "You Are Here"
IDIOT BOX - n. The part of the envelope that tells a person WHERE to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
IGNISECOND n. - The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying "my keys are in there!"
IGNORANUS - A person who's both stupid and an asshole.?
INKSLICK - n. A greasy spot on a piece of stationery or test paper.
INTAXICATION - Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
IRANT - n. A seamless pistachio; a pistachio nut afraid to come out in public.
JAVA-VU n. - Phenomenon of constantly adjusting the sugar/cream level of your coffee to your liking, only to have a waitress come along and ruin it again.
JIFFYLUST - n. The inability to be the first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of peanut butter.
JOES OF ARC - n. Tiny drops of Mr. Coffee that die on the burner after the pot is removed.
JUKEJITTERS - n. Fear that everyone thinks that you picked the awful tune emanating from the jukebox when it was actually the person before you.
KARMAGEDDON - It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
KAWASHOCK - n. Pulling into the last remaining parking spot only to discover a motorcycle there.
KEDOPHOBIA - n. The fear of having one's sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator.
KEYFRUIT - n. The one apple, pear, or tomato in the stand that, when removed, causes all the others to tumble forward.
KNIMPEL - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.
KNUCK - n. Ice cream collected on the back of the hand when scraping the last portions from the box.
KROGLING - n. The nibbling of small items of fruit and produce at the supermarket, which the customer considers "free sampling" and the owner considers "shoplifting".
KROGT - n. The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
LACTOMANGULATION n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.
LAMINITES n. Those strange people who show up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets.
LIMALOPE - n. The disgusting foreskin on a lima bean.
LINENEE - n. The member of a two-person folding team at the laundromat who takes the sheet and completes the fold.
LODGECOMBING - n. Final reconnaissance before vacating a motel room.
LOGGIUM - n. Water that drips from one's nose hours after swimming.
LORP - n. The part of the shoe that collapses when you try to pull it on without a shoehorn.
LOTSHOCK n. The act of parking your car, walking away, and then watching it roll past you.
LUB - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges itself between one's teeth.
LUPOSLIPAPHOBIA - n. The fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor.
MAGGIT - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription cards that fall from the pages of a magazine.
MAGNAGRAM n. - Any sign that takes on a new meaning when a magnetic letter falls off.
MAGNIPHOBIA n. - The fear that the object in the side mirror is much, much closer than it appears.
MAGNOCARTIC n. Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
MALIBUGALOO - n. A dance that affects barefoot beachgoers on hot summer days.
MANGLAZETTE n. The newspaper at the top of the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones beneath have better or fresher news.
MANILLIUM - n. The lifespan of the clasp on a manila envelope before it breaks off and dies.
MARP n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a roll of cellophane tape.
MASTACAMBULISTOPHILE - n. Someone who walks while eating, as from the local coffee and donut stand back to his office.
MATTRESCOTTING - n. The pattern of grey and white lines on an institutional mattress.
MAYPOP - n. A bald tire.
MCMONIA n. Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your table while you're eating.
MEMNANTS - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at the bottom of the bag.
MERFERATOR - n. The cardboard core in a toilet tissue roll.
METHYLPHOBIA n. The fear that you are going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the self-service station.
MICROTREK - n. Any nervous trip to the microwave oven to make sure the food hasn't incinerated.
MICROTS - n. The two thumbnail-sized pieces you end up with when trying to remove a paper towel in a public washroom.
MIMOIDS - n. People addicted to the smell of newly mimeographed test papers.
MITTSQUINTER - n. A ball player who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there.
MOPEEPS n. - People compelled to look through the curtain opening of your motel room as they pass by.
MOPHENES - n. The semi-truck headlights that invade your motel room at three in the morning.
MOTODRIFT n. - The mistaken belief at a stoplight that your car is moving backward when, actually, the car beside you is moving forward.
MOTSPUR - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a shopping cart that refuses to co-operate with the others.
MOWMUFFINS - n. The dried accumulation of grass on the underside of lawnmowers.
MOZZALASTICS n. - Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.
MULTIPOCHOHOLES - n. Wounds left in the test papers from overerasing.
MUMMABOLIC CHORUS n. - When three or more people are singing along to a tune and suddenly discover they are all faking their way through the unintelligible lyrics.
MUMPHREYS - n. Those strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.
MUSQUIRT - n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
MUSTGO - n. Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a science project.
NAPJERK - n. The sudden convulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off.
NAPRESSION MARKS - Those indentation lines on your face created by your bedding when you when you wake up.
NARCOLEPULACY - n. The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also yawn.
NEGATILE n. - An area of the bathroom floor where, somehow, the scale registers you five pounds lighter.
NEGLINTICS - n. The study of why dark lint attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa.
NEOICE - n. Any ice cube removed before its time that upon close examination, resembles a carpenter's level.
NEONPHANCY - n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
NERB - n. a noun used as a verb. For example - They didn't language the proclamation very well. nerb, nerbing, nerbed v. the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
NERKLE - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights up all year.
NETSEC - n. A Unit of time used in indicating work time lost due to reading net.jokes
NEUTRON PEAS n. - Tiny green objects in TV dinners that remain frozen even when the rest of the food has been microwaved beyond recognition.
NEVITTS - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a cat's tongue.
NICOMETER - n. A cigarette that exits though a car's front window and reenters through the back.
NIFLECK - n. The unmarked domino in the set.
NISTOLS - n. The small rubbery pads on the bottom of a dog's paw.
NIZ - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie screen.
NIZZLEBRILL - n. The "night-day" switch on a rearview mirror.
NOCTURNUGGETS - n. Deposits found in one's eye upon awakening in the morning, also called: Gozzagareena, Optigook, Eyehockey, etc.
NOFLET n. The upward swirl of hair found on certain individuals such as Ronald Reagan and Big Boy.
NUGLOO - n. The single continuous eyebrow that covers the entire forehead.
NURGE v. - To inch closer to a stoplight thinking that will cause it to change quicker.
OATGAP - n. The empty space in a cereal box created by "settling during shipment."
OMNIBIBLIOUS - adj. Indifferent to type of drink. "Oh, you can get me anything. I'm omnibiblious."
OOPZAMA - n. Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.
OPLING - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making "yummy" noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
OPLING - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.
OPTORTIONIST - n. The kid in school who can turn his eyelids inside out.
OPUP v. - To push one's glasses back on the nose.
OREOSIS - n. The practice of eating the cream center of an Oreo before eating the cookie outsides.
OROGAMI - n. The miraculous folding process that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box one at a time.
OROSUCTUOUS - adj. Being able to hold a glass to one's face by sheer lung power.
OSTEOPORNOSIS - A degenerate disease.
OTISOSIS - n. The inability to meet anyone else's eyes in an elevator.
PAJANGLE - n. Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.
PEDAERATION n. - Perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
PEDIDDEL - n. A car with only one working headlight.
PEDLOCK n. - The condition of a bicycle pedal wedging itself against your leg.
PELP - n. The crumbs and food particles that accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.
PELUTHO - n. A South American ball game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses.
PENCIVENTILATION - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
PEPPERLONELY - the piece of pepperoni left on the cardboard when you pick up a piece of pizza
PEPPIER n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PERCUBURP n. - The final gasp a coffee percolator makes to alert you it is ready.
PERMAPRESSION n. - The discovery that there is no real difference in the various cycles of your washing machine.
PETONIC adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
PETRIBAR - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending machine too long .
PETROOL n. - The slow, seemingly endless strand of motor oil at the end of the can.
PEWTONE - n. A major atmospheric component of towns with paper mills.
PHILOPOLOGIST - n. A specialist who loads people onto amusement rides.
PHISTEL - n. The brake pedal on the passenger side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding with a lunatic.
PHONESIA - n. The affliction of dialling a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PHOSFLINK - v. To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out
PHOTOYOKEL - n. A person who presses the wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
PHOZZLE - n. The build-up of dust on a record needle.
PICKLETTULANCE - n. The ability to remember the entire family's order at a fast-food restaurant.
PIELIBRIUM - n. The point at which the crust on a wedge of pie outweighs the filling and tips it over. -Rick Bamford
PIEPUSHERS - n. Attendants at fast-food restaurants who, no matter what you order, try to unload apple or cherry turnovers on you.
PIEWAGON - n. The small vehicle that carries games pieces around a Trivial Pursuit board.
PIFFLESQUIT - n. The wire net surrounding the cork of a champagne bottle.
PIGSLICE - n. The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.
PILLSBURGLAR - n. Person able to sample the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
PILLSBURGLAR - n. Person able to sample the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint.
PIYAN - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
PIYAN - n. Any miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad. ("and now, this complete set of steak knives...")
POCKALANCHE n. - Perpetual action of reaching down to pick up an item fallen from a shirt pocket, only to have another item fall out.
POINT BLIMFARK - n. The point at which the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite direction.
POLARIND - n. The peeling on a polaroid snapshot.
PORKUS NON GRATIS - n. The scraggly piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.
POSTALPORTS n. - The annoying windows in envelopes that never line up with the address.
PREMA-CHEERIO OR TOODLE-OOPS - n. The uncomfortable silence shared by two people after they've said good-bye to each other and continue to walk together out of necessity.
PREMAIL - n. Mail that is placed behind the visor in the car and left for several months before it is finally sent.
PREMBLEMEMBLEMATION - n. Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always re-check to make sure it's gone down.
PRESTOFRIGERATION - The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized
PRETZALINE - n. The salt deposit at the bottom of a bag of pretzels.
PRIMPO - n. A person who passes a mirror then has to step back, presumably to reassure himself he still exists.
PROFANITYPE - n. The special symbols used by cartoonists to replace swear words It is yet to be determined which specific character represents which specific expletive.
P-SPOT n. - The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion.
PSYCHOPHOBIA - n. The compulsion, when using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain and make sure no one is waiting for you.
PULPID n. - A kid who enjoys the carton more than the item that came in it.
PUNTIFICATE - v. To try to predict in what direction a football will bounce.
PUPKUS - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
PUPSQUEAK n. - The sound a yawning dog emits when it opens its mouth too wide.
PURPITATION - v. To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it in another section.
QUEERY - n. A question to ascertain one's sexual orientation
RAMPRIOT n. - Free-for-all that erupts as soon the stewardess utters the phrase, "please remain in your seats until the plane has come to a complete stop."
RELED v. - To reset all the digital clocks in the household following a power failure.
RETROCARBONIC - n. Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup.
RICEROACH - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl of Rice Krispies.
RIGNITION - n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one's car with the engine already running.
ROCKTOSE - n. The hard lumps that block the pouring spouts of sugar dispensers.
ROEBINKS - n. Those mysterious chimes you always hear in department stores.
ROVALERT - n. The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighbourhood network of barking.
RUBBAGE n. - Large pieces of truck tire found on the side of the road.
RUBUNCLES - n. The bumps on an uncooked chicken.
SARCHASM - The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
SARK - n. The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day.
SARK - n. The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day.
SCADINK - n. The annoying build-up of ink on the end of a ball-point pen.
SCANDROIDS - n. The striped price codes which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a few years ago.
SCHLATTWHAPPER - n. The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.
SCHNUFFEL - n. A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.
SCHWIGGLE n. - The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a pencil.
SCRABITCH - n. The impossible-to-reach area in the middle of the back which can never be scratched.
SCRIBBLICS - n. Warm-up exercises designed to get the ink in a pen flowing.
SCRIBLINE - n. The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes.
SCRIT - n. Anything that's been in the same place for at least fifty years without being used, such as the archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter.
SERVELENCE n. - The sudden lull in conversation that occurs at a table of diners when the food is served.
SHIRMERS - n., pl. Tall young men who stand around smiling at weddings as if to suggest that they know the bride rather well.
SHIRTLOP - n. The condition of a shirt that has been improperly buttoned.
SHMIDDLE - noun The hole in the center of a bagel. "The cream cheese was oozing out from the shmiddle."
SHOCKLET - n. The seldom-used third hole on an electrical outlet.
SHOEFLY - n. The aeronautical terminology for a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe instead.
SHUGGLEFTULATION - n. The actions two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance."
SHUZMA - n. The portion of window cleaner that the spray tube can no longer reach.
SIRLINES - n. The lines on a grilled steak.
SLACKJAM - n. The condition of being trapped in one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without first removing the shoes.
SLOOPAGE - n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers.
SLOPWEAVER - n. Someone who has mastered the art of repositioning the food on his plate to give the appearance of having consumed a good portion of it.
SLOTGREED - n. The habit of checking every coin return one passes for change.
SLOTTERY AND VENDICATION n. - A public misdemeanour in which a person gambles on a vending machine, loses, and tries to exact revenge by kicking it.
SLURCH - n. The combination "ouch" and slurping noise one makes when eyeing someone else's bad sunburn.
SLURM - n. The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
SLUTURES - n. The four white threads that protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed.
SNACKMOSPHERE - n. The empty but explosive layer of air at the top of a potato chip bag.
SNACKTREK - n. The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialised.
SNARGLE v. - To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.
SNIFFLERIDGE - n. The trough leading from the nose to the upper lip.
SNIGLET - n. Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.
SNIGLETOLOGISTS - people who have nothing better to do than sit around thinking up sniglets
SNORFING - n. The little game waitresses love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "Is everything okay?"
SNUGGAGE - n. The act of retying both shoestrings when only one needed it.
SOMNAMBAPOLOGIST - n. Person too polite to admit he was sleeping even when awakened at three in the morning.
SPAGELLUM - n. The loose strand on each forkful of spaghetti that beats one about the chin and whiskers.
SPAGMUMPS - n. Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
SPECLUMS - n. The minuscule bumps on a strawberry.
SPERAWS - n. The pinched marks on the ends of hot dogs.
SPIBBLE - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone that prevents you from dialling past 0.
SPIROBITS - n. The frayed bits of left- behind paper in a spiral notebook.
SPIRTLE - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
SPOOD - n. Flat wooden "spoon" that accompanies ice cream cups.
SPORK - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in fast food restaurants.
SPRACHETT - n. The rubber bar at a checkout counter that separates one load of groceries from another.
SPROUT LINES - n. Visible lines at the bottom of trouser legs where the hems have been let down.
SPUBBLING - v. The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time.
SPUDRUBBLE - n. Unclaimed french fries at the bottom of a fastfood bag.
SQUAFFLES - n. The individual squares comprising a waffle.
SQUALKEENUS - n. The shock syndrome that comes from biting into a Popsicle with one's front teeth.
SQUANDERPRINT - n. Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would. (E.g. Apply shampoo. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.)
SQUATCHO - n. (another useless sniglet) The button at the top of a baseball cap.
SQUATCHO - n. The button at the top of a baseball cap.
SQUATIC DIVERSION - n. Any pretended activity that commands a dog owner's attention while the dog relieves itself on a neighbor's lawn.
SQUIGGER - n. A cherry tomato that explodes upon contact with a fork.
STROODLE - n. The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.
STRUMBLE - n. That visible object you always pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid clumsiness.
STURP - v. To pin down a runaway piece of paper or currency with one's foot before the wind blows it away.
SUBATOMICTOASTICLES n. - Tiny fragments of toast left behind in the butter.
SUBNOUGATE - v. To eat the bottom caramels in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping no one will notice.
SUCCUBEEBISH - n. The gelatinous substance found surrounding canned hams and Vienna sausages.
SUPBBLING v. - The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time.
SUPERFLUHOLES - n. The phoney holes on speaker covers, put there to match the ones that actually surround the speaker.
SWAZNA - n. The thin, disgusting membrane that connects the bottom of the tongue to the top of the jaw, presumably to hold it in place.
TABLE SNORKELING - n. Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
TELECRASTINATION - n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
TELEPRESSION - n. The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try hard enough to "look up the number on your own" and instead put the burden on the directory assistant.
TELLETIQUETTE - n. The polite distance kept by one person behind another at an automatic teller machine (so as not to be suspected of trying to glimpse that person's secret code).
TEXTLICE n. - Those tiny bugs that invade your hair when you're taking an exam.
THERMALOPHOBIA - n. The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.
THERNOT - n. The cardboard rod on a hanger that prevents creasing in pants.
THRICKLE - n. The itch in the back of the throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises.
TIDNAB - n. The opposite of a bandit; one who surreptitiously leaves items, as a neighbor who leaves some of his bumper crop of summer squash on your doorstep.
TIEFRIGHT - n. The fear that no matter which way you turn the twist-tie on a loaf of bread, it is the wrong direction.
TILE COMET - n. Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.
TIREQUILLS - n. The small rubbery protrusions on new tires.
TOASTATE - v. To impatiently pop toast up and down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of burning it.
TOILET TOUPEE n. - Any shag carpet toilet cover that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus creating endless annoyance to male users.
TOLLOAF - v. Act of missing a toll basket and having to climb out of your car to retrieve the coin.
TRAFICULOUS - the condition that exists while driving, ?when you are trying to pull out through an intersection where it is clear to the right but not to the left, then it is clear to the left but not the right then the same over and over again.
TRICKLEMICROCHIPS - n. Those little tiny broken pieces of Doritos that seem to trickle to the bottom of the bag or bowl no matter what.
TRIDECKPICK n. - A miniature sword or similar device used to hold a sandwich together.
TRITZ - n. The holes in saltine crackers.
TUBSWIZZLE v. - To slide oneself back and forth in the bathtub in order to mix the too hot water with the cooler water.
TURFIGEE AND PEDIGEE - n. The two extreme target points of a rotary lawn sprinkler, Turfigee being the safest point at which to walk past, Pedigee being the most dangerous.
TWINCH - n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise.
TWINKIDUE n. - The residue on the inside of the wrapper that every junk food addict eventually gets to.
UCLIPSE - n. The dangerous arc into another lane made by drivers just before executing a turn.
UFUATION - n. The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialised.
UHFAGE n. - The unit for determining a television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for the picture to appear once the set has been turned on.
UMBILINKUS n. - The tiny appendage at the end of a link sausage.
UMBRACE n. - The small strap that holds an umbrella in place.
UNFARE n. - The dollar you owe the cab driver before you've even moved a foot.
UNIPEA n. - A peanut with only one compartment.
UPULS n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending .
VACATION ELBOW - n. A condition that suddenly develops in a father's arm during a vacation trip that allowed him to reach out and slap you from incredible distances.
VEGELUDES n. - Individual peas or kernels of corn that you end up chasing all over the plate.
VENDOVALUEIST n. - A person who inserts his change according to value (nickels, dimes, quarters.
VOITLOCK - n. When the basketball gets lodged between the rim and the backboard.
VULCANT n. The stale air that emanates from a flat tire.
WAFTIC adj. - Describes any person in whose direction campfire or barbecue smoke always blows.
WARBLOID - n. The tiny device in cassette players that eats tapes.
WATTBOBBLE - v. To remove a hot light bulb by turning it several seconds, letting your fingers cools, then repeating the process. This is generally followed by the glorious revelation of using your shirttail.
WERXILATION - n. The property of some screen doors to start to slam shut only to catch themselves at the last moment and "float" to a gentle close.
WILY'S LAW - n. The only know exception to Newton's Law of Gravity, Wily's Law states that an animal or person can suspend himself in mid-air provided he is in a cartoon, and he doesn't look down and realise he is no longer on solid ground.
WONDRACIDE - n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.
WOOWAD n. - Giant clumps of stuck-together rice served at Chinese restaurants.
WURBLET - n. The line of moisture on one's trousers that comes from leaning against a wet counter in a public restroom.
XEROXPOX n. - Skin disease of copier paper, characterised by the appearance of large black powdery blotches.
XIIDIGITATION - n. The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made by deciphering the roman numerals at the end of the credits.
YARDRIBBONS - n. The unmowed patches of grass discovered after one has put away the mower.
YINK - n. One strand of hair that covers a bald spot.
YINKEL n. A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.
YORANGE n. Those disgusting white threads that hang from an orange after it has been peeled.
YOTATE v. - To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.
ZEBRALANE n. - The striped area between the interstate and the turnoff lane where cars go when drivers can't decide what to do next.
ZEEPT - n. The accumulation of dead insects around an electric bug fryer.
ZERBLOT - n. The last kid picked in any neighborhood sporting event.
ZIBULA - n. The plastic spine which model car parts come attached to.
ZIMETER - n. The last four of five inches of tape that never rewind automatically.
ZIPCUFFED v. - To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.
ZIPPLE - n. A broken poptop on a beer or soda can.
ZIZZEBOTS - n. The mark on the bridge of one's nose visible when glasses are removed.