Tom Swiftie, a play on words that follows an unvarying pattern and relies for its humor on a punning relationship between the way an adverb describes a speaker and at the same time refers significantly to the import of the speaker's statement, as in "I know who turned off the lights," Tom hinted darkly. [named after a narrative mannerism characteristic of the Tom Swift American series of adventure novels for boys]

In actual use, "Tom Swifty" seems to have a somewhat broader meaning, and includes the form christened "croakers" by Roy Bongartz, wherein a verb rather than an adverb supplies the pun (e.g. "I'm dying", he croaked). "Who is this Tom Swifty character anyway?" asked Tom unselfconsciously.

Tom Swift was the brainchild of Edward L. Stratemeyer (1862-1930). Stratemeyer first used the name "Tom Swift" for the title character in "Shorthand Tom; or, the exploits of a young reporter", serialized in 1894. Sixteen years later he reused the name for a new character, an ingenious youth whose amazing scientific inventions and discoveries would carry him to weird and wonderful places. The Tom Swift adventure series, which was published under the pseudonym Victor Appleton, began with Tom Swift and his motor-cycle; or Fun and Adventure on the road in 1910, and continued until 1935 (5 years after Stratemeyer's death!). Stratemeyer was also the creator of the Bobbsey Twins, Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, and other lesser-known series. Stratemeyer only supplied the characters and the (repetitive) plots for his books; he had a syndicate of some 20 hack writers to do the actual writing. The chief actual writer of the Tom Swift books was Howard Roger Garis (1873-1962). After Stratemeyer's death, the syndicate was taken over by his daughter, Harriet S. Adams, who in 1954 started the "Tom Swift, Jr." series under the pseudonym Victor Appleton II.

• " ," said Tom blankly.
• "!" exclaimed Mark.
• "!" said Tom while banging his head.
• "$400. Do I hear $500?" asked the auctioneer morbidly.
• "... and lose a few," said Tom winsomely.
• "@#$%*! I've struck oil," said Tom crudely.
• "{sum += $2} END {print sum}," said Tom awkwardly.
• "|\/|," said Tom emphatically.
• "|" Tom piped.
• "" said Tom blankly.
• """Said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively" said Tom recursively.
• "2 bdrm furn w c/h," said Tom aptly.
• "23% " replied Tom promptly.
• "3.142" Tom enumerated piously.
• "A dog bit me," said Tom rabidly.
• "A fault!" Martina cried reservedly.
• "A Greek woodland deity is no more," Tom said with a deadpan expression.
• "A million thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
• "A plague on your milk and cheese" he uddered
• "A pox on you," she said measily.
• "A prostitute says 'Aren't you finished yet?', a nymphomaniac says 'Is that all?', and a wife says 'Beige... we should definitely paint the ceiling beige'," was Tom's off-colour joke.
• "A spirit transported me from the couch to the chair," said Tom, visibly moved.
• "A stitch in time saves nine," she said contritely.
• "A thousand thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
• "According to this sonograph, the average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz," said Tom in measured tones
• "Ack, there's no cola!" was the cry which popped out of Tom.
• "Add up this list of n numbers and then divide the sum by n," said Tom meanly.
• "Adherents of my religion don't all have to believe the same thing," Tom decreed.
• "Admittedly it is important to learn the alphabet," Abie ceded.
• "After the trial I sold a dozen pieces of the rock," said the insurance salesman jurisprudently.
• "Ah, HERE's the silver lining!" said Tom profoundly.
• "Ah, now I can see through the window," said Tom stiltedly.
• "Ah, what could be better than sitting by my miniature lake and listening to the wind blow through the tree leaves?" asked Tom ponderously.
• "Alas, I am inconsolable!" said Tom uncomfortably.
• "Alas, I am sick with love for the fair Igraine!" said Uther Pendragon illustriously (and achingly).
• "Albert, that illegal left turn is going to cost you twenty bucks," said the policeman finally.
• "Algol standards aren't the same without Niklaus on the committee," said Tom wirthlessly.
• "All ancient Chinese artifacts should be burned," said Tom charmingly.
• "All I ever do is milk this damn cow," Tom uttered continuously.
• "All I ever do is work," Tom droned.
• "All I want is 20,000 machine guns," said the dictator disarmingly.
• "All my knowledge cannot ease my arthritis," said the wiseacre.
• "All my modems are high speed." he said bisfully.
• "All right - we'll use a water solution," Tom acquiesced.
• "All right, I will allow the prisoners to wear perfume," the warden consented.
• "All right, who hurled the ball through my window?" asked Tom painfully.
• "All these years prospecting, and all I have to show for it is the deed to this hole in the ground under my outhouse that otherwise ain't worth nuthin'" said Tom single mine diddly squat.
• "Alouette, je te plumerai," sang Tom jauntily.
• "An apple, of course, is a pome," William's son said transversely.
• "An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her," said Agatha Christie virtuosically.
• "And dat bay is not green," Tom discovered.
• "And I am their first son," he said caindidly.
• "And this is the way you get a sheep excited," Tom reviewed.
• "And to think I swallowed that lie, hook, line and sinker!" Tom gulped.
• "Angel dust? Me? Never touch it!" Tom snorted.
• "Another plate of steamers all around!" Tom clamoured.
• "Anybody call a cab?" asked Tom caringly.
• "Are you homosexual?" Tom queried gaily.
• "Are you morfing me?" she asked, sexily
• "Argh! Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!" said Jesus crossly.
• "Argh, I've just been stabbed with an ice pick," said Tom pointedly.
• "Argh, I've just been stabbed!" said Tom half-heartedly.
• "As for me, I have many happy memories of evenings in the back seat," he said auto-erotically.
• "Aye, every inch!" said Lear achingly.
• "Bad marksmanship," the hunter groused.
• "Balls!" Tom said roundly.
• "Barman, three German beers," said Hans dryly.
• "Bartender, I'll have another martini," Tom said dryly.
• "Be careful with that saw!" Tom said offhandedly.
• "Be careful with that silver stuff. It's mercury!" said Tom quickly.
• "Be quiet! If you wake up the movie star on Gilligan's Isle she'll be very angry," he said gingerly.
• "Blimey, I can't find anything to eat to-dye," said the Cockney bear misbehivingly.
• "Bold leaders can change the Tides for better," she cheered.
• "Boy, am I feeling blue!" said Tom as he joined the British navy.
• "Boy, am I impressed!" said Tom as he joined the British Navy.
• "Boy, I wish the elevator were working," said a tired Tom, staring up to the top.
• "Boy, I wonder why Batman's sidekick wasn't in the film" asked Ms.Garr.
• "Boy, that sure took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
• "Boy, that's a bright star," said Tom seriously.
• "Boy, that's an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom hypocritically.
• "Boy, what a boring voyage! Good thing that I thought to take some sea-worthy liquor aboard," Noah rum-Ark'd.
• "Boy, what a super silly ass!" said Tom superciliously.
• "Boy, will I give YOU a haircut!" said Tom barbarously.
• "Bring me a large helping of vanilla with chocolate sauce," I screamed
• "British English, of course," Di elected to say.
• "But a totalitarian government could remove all trace of my ever having existed!" said Tom unpersonably.
• "But John wasn't home either time," he said vacantly.
• "But suppose X does exist after all," Tom expostulated.
• "But the extra tire doesn't have any air in it either," she said flatly.
• "But we must have new drapes and curtains" he pleaded
• "But well have to burn the furniture!" she said woodenly.
• "But you dropped a stitch!" she needled.
• "But, you must go on, you must go on, you must go on, you must go on" he he said continuously.
• "By convention!" cussed Tom airily.
• "Can you hear me through this sieve?" was Tom's strained query.
• "Capital idea!" said the basketball player from Washington.
• "Carmen is my favourite opera," said Tom busily.
• "Carnivals are noisy and useless," griped Tom unfairly.
• "Chemistry? I worked for weeks to engineer this meeting," she said calculatingly.
• "Cheryl, you stand between Ella and Pauline," interposed the photographer.
• "Choir up!" commanded the church conductor loftily.
• "Close the hatch! We're being invaded by bugs!" said Tom importantly.
• "Close your fly," she said zippingly.
• "Cobblers!" said Tom at last.
• "Col. Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick," he said elementarily.
• "Company's coming," Tom guessed.
• "Consult an investment broker," was Tom's stock answer.
• "Crosby is my favourite singer. Is he yours?" asked Tom probingly.
• "Curses! Foiled again!" exclaimed the gay blade sharply.
• "Daddy, could I please have an ant farm for Christmas?" asked Tom petulantly.
• "Damn it! Each time I exit this room, I wind up back in it," Tom said recursively.
• "Dance in lane," said the sign frugally.
• "Dat is not duh @#$%*! way to do it," Tom discussed.
• "Dat's de end of April," said Tom in dismay.
• "Dawn came too soon," Tom mourned.
• "Demons can be robbed," said Tom improbably.
• "Did you replace all the plugs?" he said with a spark.
• "Did your feline scratch your cheek?" she said in a catty voice.
• "Dinna wave that axe aboot, Jimmy!" said Tom heedlessly.
• "Do I hear an echo?" was Tom's resounding question.
• "Do not pound nails into glass," said Tom painstakingly.
• "Do salmon wear sweaters?" asked Tom wolfishly.
• "Do you buy and sell stolen goods?" asked Tom offensively.
• "Do you call this a West End show?" asked Les miserably.
• "Do you know the location?" asked Tom warily.
• "Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?" asked Mary hysterically.
• "Dogs are a great menace!" barked Tom huskily.
• "Dolphins are supposed to follow these fish, but damned if I can find any!", said Tom unfortunately.
• "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.
• "Don't forget to shake before drinking," she said agitatedly.
• "Don't give me the gears!" said Tom automatically.
• "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
• "Don't let me drown in Paris!" pleaded Tom insanely.
• "Don't rest on your laurels," said Tom hardily.
• "Don't tell anyone, but I work for the CIA," he whispered secretly.
• "Don't worry, I'll take full responsibility for providing the prisoner with getaway footwear," said Tom consolingly.
• "Dorian Gray's by Oscar," said Tom wildly.
• "Dorothy, if you're going to Oz again, I'm going with you," Em barked.
• "DOT DASH DOT DOT ," Tom said with remorse.
• "Drop the gun," Tom said with a disarming smile.
• "Eat more fruit" said Tom, with aplomb.
• "Eating uranium can cause atomic ache," said Tom with a high-pitched voice.
• "Eating uranium can cause strange effects," said Tom brightly.
• "Eating uranium makes me feel funny," said Tom glowingly.
• "Eating uranium makes me feel funny," said Tom radiantly.
• "Edward, you're my best friend in these parts, I gar-ron-tee!" said Tom ed-u-cajun-ally.
• "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.
• "Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.
• "England is okay, except there seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse," said Tom aloofly.
• "ENOUGH! These Swifties must stop," Phil said haltingly.
• "Erosion formed the Grand Canyon, of course," said Tom warily.
• "Eureka!" said Archimedes to the skunk.
• "Eureka!" said Tom to Archimedes. "I think you ought to take a bath."
• "Europe needs more self-restraint," said Tom continently.
• "Every last one of you is a wimp," said Tom xerophytically. (Pronounce "xerophytically" with first "y" long.)
• "Every second feels like it lasts for seven days," said Tom in a moment of weakness.
• "Everything Albert says is so obvious," said Tom altruistically.
• "Feet excite me," said the pedagogue.
• "Female canines often scratch the parasites on the coats of their young," said Tom dogmatically.
• "File a little more off that corner," said Tom raspingly.
• "Find the truffles! Find the truffles!" rooted Tom.
• "Fire!" yelled Tom alarmingly.
• "Flames to /dev/null, please," directed Tom nihilistically.
• "Flying saucers use antigravity to stay up," said Tom knowingly.
• "Follow me." the Miss led.
• "For that, you get 21 lashes," he said agonizingly.
• "For the meal we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," said Tom gracefully.
• "For the umpteenth time, pass the sauce for the pancakes!" said Tom syrupetitiously.
• "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," said Tom gracefully
• "For you I'd even be disenfranchised," said Tom devotedly.
• "For you, we'll use the cat," he purred.
• "Forward march! Eins, zwei, drei, funf, eins, zwei, drei, funf!" said the German commander fearlessly.
• "Frankly, cats are my thing," she purred.
• "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," said Clark Gable rhetorically.
• "French? I learned my French in Quebec," Pierre gasp'ed.
• "Gentlemen: Please send me your catalogue," wrote Tom, listlessly.
• "Get me a piece of sandpaper, now!," he said abrasively.
• "Get me out of here!" said Bill exitedly!
• "Get off the horse," Tom derided Mary.
• "Get out of here!" said Tom believingly.
• "Get out of my hair," was Tom's brush-off.
• "Get Smokie out of here!" said the warden unbearably. (Or is it: "There'll be no strippers in my town," said the sheriff unbareably?)
• "Get stuffed!" said Tom sagely.
• "Get the puck outahere," he said Rangily.
• "Get to the back of the boat," said Tom sternly.
• "Gin rummy with Brandy's scotched, Bud," whined Sherry wryly.
• "Give me some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
• "Give me some pre-packed cheese slices," said Tom craftily.
• "GO fly a kite," she said frankly.
• "Goodbye, and thanks for the radio," said Tom with a short wave.
• "Goodbye, Columbus!" flipped Tom wrothly.
• "Got a match, Bud?" he said lightly.
• "Gremlins must have done it!" Tom implied.
• "Hah! I got that ten pin down!" said Tom sparingly.
• "Hah! I've got that animal pegged!" Tom specified.
• "Haha! 9.8!" intoned Robin, olympically.
• "Haha! Great one! Here's a nested Swifty:
• "Haha! That one and "petulantly" have risen above the signal-to-noise ratio.
• "Hand me my guitar," commanded Rod regally.
• "'Hand me them matches, son,' Duke said crossly," Robin said derivatively.
• "Has anyone seen my pull tab?" He asked openly.
• "Has my magazine arrived?" Tom asked periodically.
• "Have a glass of Champagne," Dom spritzed.
• "Have a ride in my new ambulance," said Tom hospitably.
• "Have another soft drink," Tom coaxed.
• "Have I been emasculated?" Tom demanded.
• "Have I got a story for you," he said grimmly.
• "Have it monogrammed," was Tom's initial suggestion.
• "Have some cheese," said Tom craftily.
• "Have some shampoo," was Tom's unconditional offer.
• "Have you anything by Hugo?" asked Les miserably.
• "Have you seen my Indian rope trick?" he said cordially.
• "Have you tried UNIX?" Akbar haremmphed.
• "He is tall, dark and handsome." Dee scribed.
• "Help me set fire to this cross," said Tom clannishly.
• "Help, I'm drowning!" was Tom's glib, glib, glib chortle.
• "Henry the Eighth!" said Tom unthinkingly.
• "Her magic did not work on me," he said disenchantedly.
• "Here, have a bowl of oatmeal," he gummed.
• "Here, son, have a free balloon!" said Tom expansively.
• "Here, take this dexedrine," he said calmly.
• "Here's an epenthetic stamp," said Tom f'lat'ly.
• "Here's another baseball glove," Tom admitted.
• "Here's someone who can't speak!" exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.
• "Here's the story of the Liberty Bell," Tom told us appealingly.
• "Here's your allowance for the next two weeks," Tom advanced.
• "He's a boring chap," said Tom indulgently.
• "He's dead, Jim," Bones said gravely.
• "Hey! My electric gun is short-circuited!" Tom said shockingly.
• "Hey, castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
• "Hey, like, sailing the seven seas is really far out, man," said Tom hypnotically.
• "Hey, what's it worth if I can help you to escape from prison?" asked Tom contemptuously.
• "Hey, you're standing on my foot!" said Tom standoffishly.
• "Hi sailor, new in town?" Tom queried.
• "Hmmm, I just love to eat pineapples," he said doelfully.
• "Honey, put on that see-through thing," said Tom negligently.
• "How about a quick one before the Indy 500?" Tom prezoomed to ask.
• "How do you like my petticoat?" asked Mary shiftlessly.
• "How do you like this negligee?" asked Mary transparently.
• "How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?" asked Tom crankily.
• "How long will I have to wait for a table?" asked Tom unreservedly.
• "How long will I have to wait for a table?" asked Tom without reservation.
• "How many dings you got in your door, there, Tom?" "Ten," Tom replied decadently.
• "How many moons are around the ringed planet?" he said saturninely.
• "How on Earth did I get lost in here," Tom said in amazement
• "Hurray for our team!" said Tom cheerfully.
• "I like to use a mouse," she said graphicly.
• "I accidentally cut the Greek piper god while shaving him," Tom panicked.
• "I admire East End gangsters," said Tom crazily.
• "I admit to being amused by your long joke with the stupid punchline," said Tom, chagrined.
• "I ain't afraid of those white men," said Cochise bravely.
• "I ain't got no honey," the drone buzzed.
• "I always count them," he said repetitively.
• "I always eat at McDonald's," said Tom archly.
• "I always lie," Tom said falsely.
• "I always pray to St. Ignatius," said Tom loyally.
• "I always smoke after s*x," she said heatedly.
• "I always stammer just before July," was Tom's jejune explanation.
• "I always travel at near light speeds," he said massively.
• "I always use MNP level 4," he said cleanly.
• "I am I that created them," God said Biblically.
• "I am innocence (sic)", Mary exclaimed vicarously (sic).
• "I am NOT a fraidy-cat," Tom wimppurred.
• "I am NOT a homosexual necrophiliac," said Tom in dead earnest.
• "I am NOT full of hot air," Tom belched.
• "I am NOT on drugs," said Tom in a high falsetto.
• "I am so one of the seven dwarfs!" he said grumpily.
• "I am so singing in tune," Tom sounded off.
• "I appreciate your recommendation to take the Titanic," said Ichiro sankfully.
• "I avoid situations that can give me AIDS," he said auto-erotically
• "I believe in the trickle-down theory of economics," he said flakily.
• "I bought a pair of new shoes," he said stridently.
• "I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I've only ten left," said Tom with fortitude.
• "I bought these peanuts in Los Angeles," said Tom lagubriously.
• "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
• "I brush my teeth every five minutes," said Tom implacably.
• "I brush my teeth ten times a day," said Tom implacably.
• "I can be self-referential if I want to," said Tom swiftly.
• "I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra," said Tom, being perfectly frank.
• "I can eat one hundred and forty-four," Tom boasted grossly.
• "I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.
• "I can see naturally," Tom realised.
• "I can split demons in two," Tom imparted.
• "I can't afford the MNP correction," he said noisily.
• "I can't aim this weapon," he said malignly.
• "I CAN'T be drowning in African waters!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
• "I can't call Compuserve," he said terminally.
• "I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully.
• "I can't eat any more of this bitter herb," said Tom ruefully.
• "I can't eat these grapes, they're all fermented!," she wined.
• "I can't find my cinch-sac," she said whimpily.
• "I can't find the spare," said Tom tirelessly.
• "I can't get these pidgeons off of me," he said in statuesque manner.
• "I can't go on," he said haltingly.
• "I can't keep my hands off of you," he said touchingly.
• "I can't play the guitar because my fingers are too big," said Tom fretfully.
• "I can't stand strawberries," said Tom rashly.
• "I can't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively.
• "I can't zeem to locate our enemy's disposable lighter," said Tom xenophobically.
• "I caught two hares," said Tom abrasively.
• "I chop down trees for a living," said Tom lumberingly.
• "I climbed Mount Everest," said Tom hilariously.
• "I collect fairy tales," said Tom grimly.
• "I collided with my bed!" said Tom rambunctiously.
• "I come to this hotel year after year for the science fiction convention," said Tom inconsequentially.
• "I command a private army," said Tom maliciously.
• "I could always draw it on paper," Tom figured.
• "I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight," said Tom affably.
• "I couldn't believe there were exactly 100 people there," Tom recounted.
• "I cut off the bottoms of my levis so they wouldn't drag in the mud," said Tom hygienically.
• "I deal with things by abstaining," said Tom copacetically.
• "I decide which car to purchase after looking at the pictures," said Tom autobiographically.
• "I decided to sing something more appropriate for August than Die Winterreise," Tom summarized.
• "I deduce that the Beaver is the axe murderer," he said cleaverly
• "I deny everything," said Tom knowingly.
• "I designate you my chief heir," said Tom willingly.
• "I didn't look at all!" Tom peeped.
• "I didn't mean to have my cheek pierced," said Tom mysteriously.
• "I didn't see that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.
• "I dislike arguments because I hurt my hand banging my fist on the table," complained Tom meta-carpally.
• "I do NOT have a multiple personality disorder," said Tom, trying to be frank.
• "I do to know how to count--1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10," she said benignly.
• "I don't believe in mixed marriages," said Tom gaily.
• "I don't believe in the Heimlich manoeuvre," Tom struck back.
• "I don't believe that you really had hepatitis," Tom said jaundicely.
• "I don't belong here," Riply said, alienated.
• "I don't have a boyfriend," said Mary guilelessly.
• "I don't have enough operating systems," Tom said morosely.
• "I don't HAVE to do this for a living," said Mary tartly. "It's a business to do pleasure with you."
• "I don't have to stand upright," said Tom grandly.
• "I don't know any shanties," said Tom unceasingly.
• "I don't know how much longer I'll need only three of my houses," said Tom forebodingly.
• "I don't know which dress to wear either," he said crossly.
• "I don't like sweet champaign," she said dryly.
• "I don't like the sand which is in the sandwiches, said Tom grittily.
• "I don't like this new PC operating system," Tom said NT-heartedly as he walked away from from the store NT-handed.
• "I don't need the mantissa of the logarithm," said Tom characteristically.
• "I don't see Edward," Tom noted.
• "I don't think I'll have the pickled fish today," said Tom unerringly.
• "I don't think the cod is fresh today," he sniffed.
• "I don't want a bottle that can exist only in hyperspace," Tom declined.
• "I don't want a second helping, thank you," said the cannibal manfully.
• "I don't want my cow to be artificially inseminated," was Tom's favourable response.
• "I don't want to rewrite this in prose," said Tom aversely.
• "I don't want you delivering my mail any more - it never arrives on time," Tom expostulated.
• "I don't work here on a regular basis," said Tom casually.
• "I dropped my brace over the balcony," said Tom downcastly.
• "I dropped the toothpaste," signalled Tom, crestfallen.
• "I failed my electrocardiogram," said Tom faint-heartedly.
• "I favour self-restraint everywhere in North America," said Tom continently.
• "I feel empty inside," Tom hollered.
• "I feel like a Chinese labourer," said Tom coolly.
• "I feel like attacking a monarch," said Tom strikingly.
• "I feel so... empty," said Tom vacuously.
• "I feel young again," said Tom juveniley.
• "I find you guilty!" said the judge with conviction.
• "I flatly deny this," said Tom under pressure.
• "I flunked this lousy exam," said Tom testily.
• "I fought with Geronimo," said Tom bravely.
• "I gave the donkey some vinegar," said Tom acidly.
• "I get in through the window after opening it with this crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly.
• "I got a personal letter from Ann Landers," was Tom's epigraph.
• "I got a snapshot of the CBS anchorman, but I haven't developed it yet," said Tom, rather negatively.
• "I got five cavities since my last dentist's visit," said Tom neurotically.
• "I got the first three wrong," said Tom forthrightly.
• "I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend," said Tom acerbically.
• "I gotta get outa here without them seeing me," Tom said sneakily.
• "I guess she fell off the motorcycle," said Tom ruthlessly.
• "I had a dream last night about the American Red Cross," Tom REM-ARC'd.
• "I had a hunch the name Quasimodo would ring a bell." she chimed.
• "I had an accident in the kitchen," said Tom with panache.
• "I had no luck at all at the races," Tom endorsed.
• "I had to change the harmonization," Tom recorded.
• "I had to fire my first mate when she got too heavy for the boat," said Tom excruciatingly.
• "I had to hide my acorns," said Chris querulously.
• "I hate climbing this winding staircase," said Tom coyly.
• "I hate exams", he said, testily.
• "I hate fermented grape juice," he whined.
• "I hate injections" he said pointedly.
• "I hate pies with crumb bases," said Tom crustily.
• "I hate shellfish," said Tom crabbedly.
• "I hate sweet potatoes," Tom yammered.
• "I have a B.A. in social work," said Tom with a degree of concern.
• "I have a bad heart," Tom mummered.
• "I have a date with Linda Lovelace," Tom said indifferently.
• "I have a go now?" said Dan, Qualingly.
• "I have a noisy node," she said sniffingly. :)
• "I have a patent cure for 'the kissing disease'," said Tom monotonically.
• "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
• "I have a theory about how certain North American Indians maintained their energy levels through the winter," said Tom creatively.
• "I have an error-correcting modem," he said exstaticly.
• "I have grape beverages," Tom whined with clarity.
• "I have had too many children," said Mary overbearingly.
• "I have no idea," said Tom thoughtlessly.
• "I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours," said Tom lackadaisically.
• "I have no taste", Tom said blandly.
• "I have no underwear," Tom said expansively.
• "I have to attend my PhD oral examination," said Tom defensively.
• "I have to contain that chemical," he retorted.
• "I have to fix all the bugs, and add some new features," Tom maintained.
• "I have to insert this wooden spatula in your mouth," said Tom depressingly.
• "I have to keep these eggs warm," Tom chirped honestly.
• "I have to keep this fire alight," Tom bellowed.
• "I have to sing a run of eighth-notes," said Tom quaveringly.
• "I have to wear this cast for another six weeks," said Tom disjointedly.
• "I have too many children," said Mary overbearingly.
• "I have writer's block," said Tom contritely.
• "I haven't a notion," said Poseidon when the sea dried up.
• "I haven't developed my photographs yet," said Tom negatively.
• "I haven't had an accident in ten years," said Tom recklessly.
• "I haven't had any tooth decay yet," said Tom precariously.
• "I haven't put air in my fifth tire," said Tom despairingly.
• "I heard a rumor about you." Al edged.
• "I hope my mother gets hit by a steamroller," said Tom malevolently.
• "I hope this is enough to feed my family," prayed the wolf.
• "I hope you're not afraid of needles," Tom injected.
• "I invested in a high-tech startup," Tom ventured.
• "I joined Mensa," he said intelligently.
• "I just bought a new Plymouth" she said valiantly.
• "I just can't use Ethernet too often," said Tom sleepily.
• "I just don't know which dress to put on" she said wearily.
• "I just gave blood," he said veingloriously.
• "I just got a sex change," said Tom, feeling rather disorganized.
• "I just got kicked out of China!" said Tom, rather disoriented.
• "I just had my car tuned up," she purred.
• "I just hung my sheets on the clothesline," said Tom erringly.
• "I just invented a radio-controlled robot," Tom said remotely.
• "I just invented the telephone," Alexander bellowed.
• "I just love champaign," she bubbled. ("Is that a repeat?" Mike burped.)
• "I just love the music of the dolphins," she said tunafully.
• "I just love to collect the milk," the ant said aphidly.
• "I just shined my furniture," she said with pride.
• "I just shoplifted from a major department store," said Tom sincerely.
• "I just swallowed a fishing lure," said Tom with baited breath.
• "I keep mine in a cinch-sak," he said heftyly.
• "I keep picking up radio signals from outer space," said Tom impulsively.
• "I kept mine in a plastic bag," she said gladly.
• "I killed and cremated the Greek piper god," said Tom with panache.
• "I killed the Greek piper god," Tom deadpanned.
• "I know all the wherefores," said Tom wisely.
• "I know how to communicate sequential processes," said the whore guardedly.
• "I know what a bunch of lions is called," said Tom with pride.
• "I know what to do with stale cake," said Tom triflingly.
• "I know where Jack Nicklaus is," said Tom profoundly.
• "I know which boyd gets the woym," said Tom in an oily voice.
• "I know why you need that knife," she said, taking a stab in the dark.
• "I learned a lot about women while I was in Paris," said Tom indifferently.
• "I let my network users access SQL," he said servingly.
• "I lied" he lied.
• "I like being under canvas," said Tom intently.
• "I like fuzzy bunnies," gurgled Tom acutely.
• "I like Germany," was Tom's gut reaction.
• "I like listening to records at night," said Tom disconsolately.
• "I like measles!" laughed Tom infectiously.
• "I like modern painting," said Tom abstractly.
• "I like my martini with plenty of vermouth," he said sweetly.
• "I like ragged margins," said Tom without justification.
• "I like the hottest one," she said mercurially
• "I like this drill," said Tom as he carie'd out the dental work.
• "I like to make things," she said craftily.
• "I like writing artificially intelligent programs," Tom lisped.
• "I lost my job at the nuclear reactor," she said radiantly.
• "I lost my pants!", he said embarassedly.
• "I lost my toothpaste," he said aimlessly.
• "I lost the debate because I ran out of things to say," said Tom outspokenly.
• "I love eating crow," said Tom ravenously.
• "I love hockey," said Tom puckishly.
• "I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
• "I love my job at the power plant", she said glowingly..
• "I love percussion instruments," said Tom symbolically.
• "I love supercomputers!" giggled Tom crayzily.
• "I love the novels of D. H. Lawrence," said Tom chattily.
• "I love to eat pineapple," he said dolefully.
• "I love to joke about Rice Krispies," he snapped.
• "I love trying to make insects fly," said Tom flippantly.
• "I manufacture those tabletops that separate store clerks from their customers", said Tom counterproductively.
• "I may have to throw up again," he regurgitated.
• "I meant to pay this year's dues," Tom remembered.
• "I must be on a visit," Tom guessed.
• "I must fold this tissue up again," she replied.
• "I need a Latin Bible suitable for reading under water," Tom divulged.
• "I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.
• "I need a sharp knife," she said keenly.
• "I need to clear my throat," said Tom phlegmatically.
• "I need to go on a diet," said Tom wastefully.
• "I need to replace my worn new sneakers," he said conversely
• "I never get lost," said the pathologist.
• "I never go into saloons," said Tom drily. "I've seen too many of my friends enter them optimistically and leave them mistyoptically."
• "I never play any music by Hungarian composers," said Tom listlessly.
• "I newt!" said the salamander.
• "I once exceeded the speed of light," he said negatively.
• "I only get Newsweek," said Tom timelessly.
• "I only have diamonds, clubs and spades," said Tom heartlessly.
• "I ordered chocolate, not vanilla," I screamed.
• "I organized that big party for the prisoners," Tom confessed.
• "I own a dozen lions," said Tom pridefully.
• "I passed my electrocardiogram," said Tom wholeheartedly.
• "I picked more berries than you did," Tom razzed.
• "I plan to start a cattle ranch in a space station orbiting Jupiter," said Tom joveally.
• "I plan to work for Digital," said Tom, giving me the finger.
• "I practised three hours on my guitar," said Tom pluckily.
• "I prefer cod to haddock," Tom said officiously.
• "I prefer Fidonet," he echoed.
• "I prefer mine light," he said palely.
• "I prefer Perrier" he said clearly.
• "I prefer the corn breakfast," he said flakily.
• "I prefer the largest planet," he said jovially.
• "I prefer the one furthest from the Sun," he said plutonically.
• "I prefer the outside of the tree," he barked.
• "I prefer to compile my data base," he said foxily.
• "I prefer to use polystyrene ware," he said incorrectly.
• "I prefer Tupperware," she burped.
• "I prefer unlined gloves," Tom deferred.
• "I promise not to come in your mouth," Tom ejaculated.
• "I promise to shine my furniture tomorrow," he pledged.
• "I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.
• "I really do miss those trees" she pined
• "I really like the work of Edgar Allan Poe," said Tom ravenously.
• "I refuse to obey that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.
• "I run a fairground attraction called 'See a real demon for only one cent!'" said Tom impenitently.
• "I saw that man remove my ballot from the box," said Tom devotedly.
• "I see a flock of larks," he said exultantly.
• "I see," said Tom icily.
• "I sent Kathleen on a mission to the Antilles," Tom indicated.
• "I shall have to see the doctor," said Tom patiently.
• "I shall read the commands from that file again," said Tom resourcefully.
• "I should never have eaten all those beans", said Tom astutely.
• "I slept in a draft last night," said Tom stiffly.
• "I spilt the syrup," said Tom stickily.
• "I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
• "I still think we should differentiate the magnetic flux," said Tom defiantly.
• "I stole some eggs; how would you like them?" asked the poacher as he scrambled away.
• "I studied law to learn ways to avoid getting caught," said Tom syntactically.
• "I support mechanization," said the promoter.
• "I suppose I'll have to write my name again." said Tom resignedly.
• "I sure wish we had more girls down here on the farm," Tom said sheepishly.
• "I teach at a university," Tom professed.
• "I telephoned John twice," Tom recalled.
• "I tend to use infinitives rather than gerunds," said Tom knowingly.
• "I think all those feminists should be forced to work as housewives," said Tom deliberately.
• "I think I will join Mensa," Tom said smartly.
• "I think I'd rather have a cone," Ben jeered.
• "I think I'll end it all," Sue sighed.
• "I think I'll join Densa," Tom said slowly.
• "I think I'll put new stuffing in that old settee," said Tom fill-a-sofa-cally.
• "I think I'll stand on the left side of the ship," Tom reported.
• "I think I'll use a different font," said Tom boldly.
• "I think it weighs about 375 pounds" he said with a heavy accent
• "I think it's time I had a perm," said Tom liltingly.
• "I think I've lost my leg, sir," reported Uxbridge lamely. "By God, so you have!" replied Wellington generally.
• "I think that I will join Densa," Tom didn't say.
• "I think the air conditioner needs cleaning," he said fervently.
• "I think, therefor I... er... um... ah...," He said forgetfully.
• "I thought William did it "tellingly"!
• "I thought you were counting calories," he said lightly.
• "I told you not to ride that horse," Tom nagged.
• "I TOLD you not to smoke in bed," Tom fumed.
• "I trained that group of lions," he said with pride.
• "I tried to stop the horse by pulling the cord on the back," was Tom's tale of woe.
• "I use the Bourne Again Shell," said Tom bashfully.
• "I used lots of detergent in late December," was Tom's yuletide comment.
• "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.
• "I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
• "I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.
• "I used to work for Kelly Services," Tom extemporized.
• "I used to work for the railway company," said Tom extraneously.
• "I visted Jerry Pournelle's home," he said chaotically.
• "I want a motorised bicycle," Tom moped.
• "I want more," he said copiously.
• "I want this statue to look like the Venus de Milo," said Tom disarmingly.
• "I want to be carried in a covered couch," said Tom literally.
• "I want to date other women," said Tom unsteadily.
• "I want to have your children!" Dee sired.
• "I want to hear my baby bleat," Mary kidded.
• "I want you in the navy," said Tom impressively.
• "I wanted more than a 2x4 in the wet dirt," said Tom posthumously.
• "I was absolutely vitrified," said Tom with a glazed look.
• "I was adopted," said Tom transparently.
• "I was caught stealing in Iran," said Tom offhandedly.
• "I was chosen to be chairman, but they changed their minds," he said disappointedly.
• "I was completely exonerated," said Tom clearly.
• "I was given a shampoo and trim by a Pakistani in Liverpool," said Tom in Urdu.
• "I was in a riot in Paris," Tom noised abroad.
• "I was in my kayak, practising my eskimo roll," said Tom self-righteously.
• "I was never a naughty child," Tom implied.
• "I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
• "I was unnecessary to replace the car's rear end," he rebutted.
• "I wear a D-cup," Betty Boop said falsily.
• "I will find out how many electrons that atom is sharing," said Tom valiantly.
• "I will NOT finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
• "I will NOT splurge on a circuit-breaker," Tom refused.
• "I will now ski down this hill ....... oops!" he snapped.
• "I wish I could remember the name of that card game," said Tom wistfully.
• "I wish I had caught the beginning of this conversation, but I wasn't here," he said absently.
• "I wish I'd said that, Oscar," said Tom wildly.
• "I wish that I could get a real motor cycle," Tom moped.
• "I wish you wouldn't crucify him, but I'm washing my hands of the matter," said Pontius Pilate wishy-washily.
• "I wonder if I'd have better luck if I fished with a net," Tom debated.
• "I wonder what sex that cat is," said Tom.
• "I wonder what syllables I should sing these sixteenth notes to," said Ward Swingle dubiously.
• "I wonder what's causing this rasp in my voice," said Tom phlegmatically.
• "I wonder why the hive's still empty," said Tom belatedly.
• "I wonder why uranium is fluorescent," said Mary curiously.
• "I won't be on time for the Christmas party because some joker put glue on the bottoms of my shoes," Tom gesticulated.
• "I won't believe that you're the resurrected Jesus until I've felt the nail-holes in your wrists," said Tom doubtingly.
• "I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
• "I won't listen to you, Leonard!" said Tom def-t-Lee.
• "I won't play for this team any longer, " Tom decided.
• "I won't play the carillon again!" chimed Tom rebelliously.
• "I won't stand for painting," said Tom uneasily.
• "I won't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively.
• "I work at a bank," said Tom tellingly.
• "I work in the Vatican," Tom pontificated.
• "I wouldn't marry you if you were the only woman on earth," said Tom evenly
• "I wouldn't mind running my fingers over THOSE!" said Tom fondly.
• "I wrote that window system for MIT," Tom exclaimed.
• "I wrote the book on that subject," said Tom authoritatively.
• "Ici nous voyons le tour Eiffel!" Tom parried.
• "I'd better not go to prison," said Tom balefully.
• "I'd better repeat that SOS message," said Tom remorsefully.
• "I'd like chicken soup with matzo balls and gefilte fish," said Tom judiciously.
• "I'd like some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
• "I'd like to be a Chinese labourer," said Tom coolly.
• "I'd like to be a shopkeeper in Somerset," said Tom zealously.
• "I'd like to go to a seance," said Tom dispiritedly.
• "Ignore the first three turnings," said Tom forthrightly.
• "I'll brew some more coffee," said Tom perkily.
• "I'll cut you to ribbons!" said Tom mincingly.
• "I'll do the dishes tomorrow morning," said Dawn.
• "I'll do your conveyancing, but I'll be slow and overcharge you," said Tom solicitously.
• "I'll eat till I burst," Tom agreed.
• "I'll get there eventually," he meandered.
• "I'll get you out of prison in no time," said Tom balefully.
• "I'll go get the stick," said Tom fetchingly.
• "I'll have a Bud," he said lightly.
• "I'll have a hot dog," said Tom frankly.
• "I'll have another piece of meat," Tom revealed.
• "I'll have the dark bread," said Tom wryly.
• "I'll learn the French fad on my own time," said Tom volumetrically.
• "I'll let prisoners all recite their poems," the warden said conversely.
• "I'll meet you by the war memorial," I said monumentally.
• "I'll never understand quantum mechanics," Tom sighed starrily.
• "I'll never use that brand of detergent again," said Tom woebetidedly.
• "I'll not have you punk rockers making music in MY auditorium," said Tom disconcertingly.
• "I'll pay off that customs official," said Tom dutifully.
• "I'll take any planet body," she said heavenly.
• "I'll take Mary to the dance," Tom promised.
• "I'll take that," said Tom appropriately
• "I'll tell you later," He said suspensfully.
• "I'll try selling them at the next house," Tom replied.
• "I'll try to dig up a couple of friends," said Tom gravely.
• "I'll use my camera if I want to," Tom snapped.
• "I'll use my stopwatch to see how fast it moves," said Tom, seconding the motion.
• "I'll vote for him." Dee sided.
• "I'm a better shot than William Tell," said Tom arrowgantly.
• "I'm a frayed knot," said Tom discordantly.
• "I'm a lesbian," Mary mentioned.
• "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm OK," Jack said cleeverly.
• "I'm a painter," he said artfully.
• "I'm a plumber," Tom piped.
• "I'm a Reagan-watcher," said Tom ironically.
• "I'm a Soviet agent," said Tom bluntly.
• "I'm a Soviet military official," Tom commiserated.
• "I'm about to hit the golf ball," Tom forewarned.
• "I'm afraid you've had a stroke," said Tom cerebrally.
• "I'm always exhausted by Friday," said Tom weakly.
• "I'm being sent down to the minors," said Tom beleagueredly.
• "I'm burning aromatic substances," said Tom, incensed.
• "I'm bushed!" said the President faintly.
• "I'm bushed," Dan said wimpily.
• "I'm celebate," she said inscrutably.
• "I'm clenching my jaw because our local clergyman has a toothache," said Tom vicariously.
• "I'm close to riding on the rims," Tom said tiredly.
• "I'm coming!" Tom ejaculated climactically.
• "I'm concerned about the number of people not attending," said Tom absent-mindedly.
• "I'm doing a syntactic analysis of low, long-drawn sounds indicating discomfort," said Tom parsimoniously.
• "I'm 'drawing' the butter," Tom clarified fatuously.
• "I'm drowning near the Isle of Wight," said Tom insolently.
• "I'm dying," Tom croaked.
• "I'm easily moved to anger," said Tom insensibly.
• "I'm embarassed. Where's the toilet?" he said, flushing.
• "I'm embarrassed," Tom admitted readily.
• "I'm falling into a void," said Tom flawlessly.
• "I'm from a Humberside port," said Tom ghoulishly.
• "I'm from Brussels," he sprouted.
• "I'm glad that the chemistry is working between us," she said radically.
• "I'm glad that the president's illness was not fatal," everyone quailed.
• "I'm going after that red fish," said Tom erringly.
• "I'm going back to school soon," said Tom with class.
• "I'm going out with a mermaid tonight," said Tom sedately.
• "I'm going to be intestate," said Tom unwillingly.
• "I'm going to end it all," Sue sighed.
• "I'm going to fix the roof," Tom translated.
• "I'm going to get a hair transplant," said Tom baldly.
• "I'm going to jump the canyon with my bicycle," he said evily.
• "I'm going to lure them out." said Dee coyly.
• "I'm going to sue my real estate agent for not warning me the prairies were so flat," said Tom plaintively.
• "I'm gonna go live in the Canadian arctic," said Tom resolutely.
• "I'm halfway up a mountain," Tom alleged.
• "I'm having an affair with my gamekeeper," said the lady chattily.
• "I'm having trouble keeping my balance," said Tom parenthetically.
• "I'm here - with a gift!" said Tom presently.
• "I'm here to collect unemployment." the doctor said impatiently.
• "I'm in favour of mechanisation," said the promoter.
• "I'm in the process of documenting my BASIC program," Tom remarked.
• "I'm investing in German currency once again," Tom remarked.
• "I'm Irish," said Tom wryly.
• "I'm just an ordinary soldier," Tom admitted privately.
• "I'm just going to put these handcuffs on you," said Tom manically.
• "I'm just not attracted to you," said Tom flaccidly.
• "I'm just sittin' on a dock of the bay...," Tom sang piercingly.
• "I'm knitting a sweater for my guppy," said Tom wolfishly.
• "I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.
• "I'm mentioned in this book," said Tom contentedly.
• "I'm no communist," Alger hissed.
• "I'm no good at golf. I know I'm going to hit another bad shot," Tom forewarned.
• "I'm not a real man," Tom whimpered.
• "I'm not fat!" denied Tom stoutly.
• "I'm not going to eat any more of those pastries," Tom de-eclaired.
• "I'm not going to give up anything this year. The year before last was quite enough," said Tom relentlessly.
• "I'm not impotent and I don't suffer from premature ejaculation when given head," Tom sputtered weakly, much too soon for Mary's taste.
• "I'm not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting," Michelangelo insisted.
• "I'm not sure about Heisenberg," said Tom uncertainly.
• "I'm not sure how I feel about that particular matrix operation," said Tom indeterminately.
• "I'm now going to play the Brandenberg Concertos," Tom barked.
• "I'm of greater value to you every day," said Tom appreciatively.
• "I'm on social security," said Tom dolefully.
• "I'm on welfare," said Tom dolefully.
• "I'm outahere," Robin said belatedly.
• "I'm pretty good at basketball," said Tom, dribbling.
• "I'm promiscuous," she opined.
• "I'm putting this microfiche back where it belongs," said Tom complacently.
• "I'm reading about communism," said Tom readily.
• "I'm reporting that graffiti." Dee filed.
• "I'm rereading the second Gospel," Tom remarked.
• "I'm Scottish," said Tom macabrely.
• "I'm single," Tom said wanly.
• "I'm so full, I could blow up," said Tom yeastily.
• "I'm such a good marksman that you can throw away your hairbrush," was Tom's parting shot.
• "I'm sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen," said Tom beguilingly.
• "I'm taking over this hotel," said Tom inappropriately.
• "I'm taking this ship back into harbour," Tom reported.
• "I'm tearing my hair out over this problem," said Tom distressingly.
• "I'm the butcher's helper," said Tom cuttingly.
• "I'm the presenter of the South Bank Show," Melvyn bragged.
• "I'm the world's most aggressive matador," Tom rambled.
• "I'm three feet taller than I was yesterday," said Tom gruesomely, up the yard.
• "I'm tired of smiling," moaned Lisa.
• "I'm tired of working for the Union Pacific!" Spike railed.
• "I'm too smart to believe in Jesus Christ," said Tom with damnable cleverness.
• "I'm trying to get some air circulating under the roof," said Tom fanatically.
• "I'm trying to get some air circulating up here just beneath the roof," said Tom fanatically.
• "I'm very popular with women," said Don wanly.
• "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
• "I'm working for the Transit Authority!" he exclaimed after bussing his wife.
• "I'm writing a poem about the rebels in Nicaragua," said Tom controversially.
• "In my next film I play the part of Sir Edmund Hillary," said Tom climactically.
• "In the beginning voz...," averred the German preacher.
• "Is it true that some animals will eat their own babies?" asked Tom literately.
• "Is this thread EVER going to end?" he asked interminably.
• "It certainly looks like H2SO4 to me," he said acidly.
• "It does unless the Fitzgerald Contraction becomes non-trivial," he said shortly.
• "It fell apart in my hands," Tom rejoined.
• "It has zero height, zero width, and - well, maybe I'll allow it to have a bit of depth," said Tom, stretching the point.
• "It looks like elephant dung," said Tom in Zulu.
• "It pays to be smooth," Joe Camel said smokily.
• "It will never end," he replied negatively.
• "It'll get us out of the red" answered the Cininnati ball player.
• "It's 9:59," said Tom pretentiously.
• "It's a bad hobbit," said Tom, not at all keenly.
• "It's a bloody lion," said Tom categorically.
• "It's a bloody mess," said Mary periodically.
• "It's a German song," Tom lied.
• "It's a gift from an Oriental friend," said Tom pleasantly.
• "It's a piece of laboratory equipment," Tom retorted.
• "It's a pity that Amin managed to escape from Uganda when his ship of state went under," said Tom idiosyncratically.
• "It's a rooster!" clucked Tom cockily.
• "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.
• "It's an actual parameter, not a formal parameter," was Tom's argument.
• "It's become much bigger," said Tom with a groan.
• "It's best to find a new word for this," Tom determined.
• "It's better to steal things together," Tom corroborated.
• "It's between my sole and my heel," said Tom archly.
• "It's cold, Timothy," said Tom with his distinctive timbre.
• "It's half a score," Tom said often.
• "It's hard to imagine that none of these have repeated, but has anyone ever sent one that's non-unique?," he asked redundantly.
• "It's hard work arresting that girl!" said Tom, labouring under a misapprehension.
• "It's Jack the Ripper!" said Tom horrendously.
• "It's just gold leaf," said Tom guiltily.
• "It's made the grass wet," said Tom after due consideration.
• "It's my maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.
• "It's my personal magnetism," said Tom ironically.
• "It's none of your @#$%*! business if I'm obese," swore Tom roundly.
• "It's not a candy mint, it's a breath mint," Tom asserted.
• "It's not fair!" said Tom darkly.
• "It's not polite to look directly at a man," Mary chastised.
• "It's only average," said Tom meanly.
• "It's suddenly gone dark," said Tom delightedly.
• "It's the quotient of two integers," said Tom rationally.
• "It's time for the second funeral," Tom rehearsed.
• "It's time to play my wild card," Tom deduced.
• "It's twelve noon," Tom chimed in.
• "It's usually just food poisoning," said Tom mainly.
• "I've already given you the nominative, vocative, accusative, genitive, dative, and ablative, so I will say no more," Tom declined.
• "I've an urgent appointment," said Tom in Russian.
• "I've become a hardened criminal," Tom confirmed.
• "I've been a baaaaaad boy," said Tom sheepishly.
• "I've been chased by Moby Dick!," she wailed.
• "I've been demoted from corporal," said Tom privately.
• "I've been having an incontinence problem," Tom gushed.
• "I've been listening to the Tales of Hoffmann," Tom often barked.
• "I've been to a film festival in the South of France," said Tom cannily.
• "I've been to San Francisco" said Tom heartlessly.
• "I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.
• "I've brought back the lorry I borrowed," said Tom truculently.
• "I've caught Moby Dick!" Tom wailed.
• "I've changed my name to Al," said Hal, exasperated.
• "I've declared the variable X so that its value is saved from one procedure invocation to the next," said Tom ecstatically.
• "I've deduced that this is the right way," said Tom pathologically.
• "I've done more than talk to her on the phone," said Tom metaphysically.
• "I've dyed my hair green and stuck a pin through my nose," said Tom punctually.
• "I've fallen, and I can't get up," Mikhail couped.
• "I've finished my taxes," she said deductivly.
• "I've forgotten that song Dr. Chandra taught me," said HAL lackadaisically.
• "I've gained thirty pounds," said Tom heavily.
• "I've gone back to my wife," was Tom's rejoinder.
• "I've gone back to using my maiden name", said Mary remissly.
• "I've got a new game," mumbled Peg.
• "I've got all the work I can handle," said the doctor patiently.
• "I've got another @#$%*! insect in my pants," said Tom adamantly.
• "I've got sand in my food," said Tom grittily.
• "I've got to find out why my broker got fired," said Tom as he investigated.
• "I've got to fix the car," said Tom mechanically.
• "I've got to reach Kenilworth tonight," said Tom, trotting doggedly onward.
• "I've got to stop this motor," Tom choked.
• "I've grown fat on the contents of charity packages," said Tom carefully.
• "I've had a hemisphererectomy," said Tom single-mindedly.
• "I've had enough of this rotten apple juice," Tom decided.
• "I've had it up to here with Post-Modern Expressionism," said the goat artfully.
• "I've had these Beardsley prints for ten years," said Tom decadently,
• "I've joined the Airborne Medical Corps," said Tom paradoxically.
• "I've joined the navy," Tom said fleetingly.
• "I've just been lulled by the sound of the world's greatest tenor," said Tom placidly.
• "I've just been sacked" he said dolefully.
• "I've just learned Morse Code" He said dashingly to his doting wife.
• "I've lost my flower," said Tom lackadaisically.
• "I've made a study of girls," said Tom lassitudinously.
• "I've never had an accident," said Tom recklessly.
• "I've never heard of analingus," said Tom, tongue in cheek.
• "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.
• "I've paid my annual subscription," Tom remembered.
• "I've passed the exam this time," Tom remarked.
• "I've read all Shakespeare's works," said Tom wilfully.
• "I've removed all the feathers from this chicken," said Tom pluckily.
• "I've run out of gas," he sputtered.
• "I've run out of laundry detergent," said Tom cheerlessly.
• "I've run out of wool," said Tom, knitting his brow.
• "I've said it once, and I'll say it again: you're one of the best TAG players I've ever met," Tom re-IT-er-RATED.
• "I've spotted more blackbirds than you have," Tom crowed.
• "I've still got two fingers left," said Tom handsomely.
• "I've struck oil!" Tom gushed.
• "I've thought of another exception," Tom rebutted. (Or: "Stop trying to get my goat," Tom rebutted. Or: "This cigarette just won't go out," Tom rebutted.)
• "I've transferred my money back into my German savings account," Tom remarked with interest.
• "Je suis francais," Tom had the gall to claim.
• "Jokes that bad are best handled with four feet of cold steel," said Tom sordidly.
• "Just what kind of show can this troupe 'The Humpty Dumpties' put on?" asked Tom exactingly.
• "King Tut says he uses French perfume," she channeled.
• "Let it all hang out," he flashed.
• "Let me clean out this poison tank," said Tom deceptively.
• "Let me improvise this part," said Tom descriptively.
• "Let me out of this embassy," said Tom disconsolately.
• "Let me see if I can prove that," said Tom unassumingly.
• "Let me think again," said Tom redeemingly.
• "Let there be light," He said creatively.
• "Let's all play an A, a C#, and an E," cried the band with one accord.
• "Let's eat kosher tonight," said Tom judiciously.
• "Let's get married," said Tom dismissively.
• "Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.
• "Let's go and fly around the street lights, children," said the mammoth.
• "Let's go for another gallop," Tom recanted.
• "Let's have a crimson display and turn up the brightness," said Tom with passionate intensity.
• "Let's invite Greg and Gary," said Tom gregariously.
• "Let's kill him," said the executive.
• "Let's mix the baking soda and vinegar," Bill said effervescently.
• "Let's orgy all night!" said Tom scintillatingly.
• "Let's play a joke on the Sun Users Group," Tom suggested.
• "Let's play golf," said Tom coarsely.
• "Let's play musical chairs," said Tom deceitfully.
• "Let's take the traffic circle," said Tom, in a roundabout way.
• "Let's trap that sick bird," said Tom illegally.
• "Let's visit the tomb," said Tom cryptically.
• "Let's walk," said Tom stridently.
• "Listen to my Stallone impression," said Tom slyly.
• "Look at me, ma! I'm on top of the world - well, chimney, anyway," said Tom superfluously.
• "Look at my shiny kitchen floor," said Tom, waxing enthusiastic.
• "Look at that monster's sandals!" said Tom in a thing-thong voice.
• "Look at that sun rise!" said Tom mornfully.
• "Look at those newborn kittens," said Tom literally.
• "Look at those tall flowers," said Tom gladly.
• "Look out for that bird!" cried Tom, ducking.
• "Look what happens if I pour dishwashing liquid in the public fountain," she bubbled.
• "Look what I can do with this eraser!" said Mickey Mouse self-effacingly.
• "Look! There's a male cow with some chrysanthemums on it!" Tom mumbled.
• "Looks like rain," said Tom precipitously.
• "Looks uncomputable to me," said Tom haltingly.
• "Mama is German," Tom muttered.
• "Many yuppies are buying Vietnamese Pot-Bellied Pigs," he grunted.
• "Marmalade," said the newly hatched chicken.
• "Mash that avocado and add some seasoning," said Tom guacamole.
• "May I become a chorister?" Tom inquired.
• "May I join your group and sing, too?" Tom inquired.
• "May I leave the room?" asked the schoolboy, high-handedly.
• "Maybe it's in the stables," Tom mused.
• "Mine's a Gin and Tonic" he said dryly.
• "Mmmmmm mmmmmmm," Tom gagged.
• "Mnischewitz is AWFUL!" Tom wined.
• "Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I sleep in a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I sleep in a teepee," said Tom very attentively.
• "Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I think I'm a wigwam; Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends I think I'm a teepee," said Tom too tensely.
• "Mr. Franklin, your kite experiment is interesting," she said electrifyingly.
• "Mr. Rockefeller did not bring his wife," said Tom haplessly.
• "Multiplication before addition," said Tom, citing precedents.
• "Must I show again why this is true?" asked Tom reprovingly.
• "Must I show again why this theorem is true?" asked Tom reprovingly.
• "Mutton makes men macho," bleated Tom sheepishly.
• "My ancestor was a famous Confederate general who had an army fort named after him," Tom bragged.
• "My basic repertoire is small," said Tom riskily.
• "My bicycle wheel is damaged," said Tom outspokenly.
• "My bicycle wheel is melting," Tom spoke softly.
• "My bid for this contract aims to please," said Tom tenderly.
• "My Chinese necklace has been stolen," said Mary jadedly.
• "My chute weighs only two kilograms," said Tom parametrically.
• "My clothes are all wrinkled," said Tom, depressed.
• "My compliments to the company that makes the Macintosh computer," said Tom applaudingly.
• "My cookie is empty," said Tom unfortunately.
• "My dime rolled into the sewer," cried Tom gratefully.
• "My dog will only eat cantaloupes," was Tom's melancholy complaint.
• "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted.
• "My extreme emotional instability arises from a psychoneurosis," hissed Eric.
• "My family has a great future," said Tom clandestinely.
• "My favourite opera composer is that Italian-American, Gian Carlo," said Tom monotonously.
• "My fellow Americans," boomed Ronald Reagan, "I have just signed legislation to outlaw the state of Russia for ever..."
• "My former wife is cute," said Tom expertly.
• "MY frozen orange juice requires you to add SIX cans of water," said Tom with great concentration.
• "My garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.
• "My giant sea creature died," Tom wailed blubberingly.
• "My glands are swollen," said Tom mumpishly.
• "My glasses are fogged up," said Tom optimistically.
• "My guitar is broken," Tom fretted.
• "My investments are worth more every day," said Tom appreciatively.
• "My job is to lead the audience's applause," Tom clucked.
• "My laundry comes out the cleanest," she said dashingly.
• "My marriage is over," said Prince Charles directly.
• "My milk is clabbered," she weighed in.
• "My mother was unmarried and brought me up all by herself," said Tom single-mindedly.
• "My mother's sister will be here any minute," said Tom expectantly.
• "My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight," said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.
• "My new signature is no better than my old one," said Tom resignedly.
• "My next novel will be the greatest thing since Finnegans Wake," Tom rejoiced.
• "My oar is broken," said Tom robustly.
• "My parents are called Billy and Nanny," Tom kidded.
• "My pencil is dull," said Tom pointlessly.
• "My sexual preferences are for women, not for other men," he said with gay abandon.
• "My shins are well protected," Tom grieved.
• "My soap floats," he grinned, showing all his ivories.
• "My spinal cord has been given notice," Tom fired back.
• "My stereo's half fixed," said Tom monotonously.
• "My wife is cheating on me," Tom cackled.
• "My wife is dead" said Prince Rainier gracelessly.
• "My word is final!" Tom dictated to his secretary.
• "My wrists are bleeding stumps!" said Tom offhandedly.
• "Nay!" said Tom hoarsely.
• "Nay!" Tom bridled hoarsely.
• "Necessity is no excuse," was Tom's knock-knee'd opinion.
• "Nevermore will I read 'The Raven'," said Tom poetically.
• "Nice looking glass!" said Tom reflectively.
• "Nice mirror!" said Tom reflectively.
• "No ellipses, no parabolas, and no hyperbolas," said Tom laconically.
• "No negroes allowed!" Jim crowed.
• "No one got's to never go teasin' hisn's momma's momma with a feather," said Tom ungrammatically.
• "No pilaf for me, please," said Tom derisively. (Or: "Get off my lap," said Gary Hart derisively.)
• "No, I have NOT had enough!" said Tom solicitously.
• "No, I haven't read Voltaire," said Tom candidly.
• "No, I won't give you a note saying your excused," said Tom unwaveringly.
• "NO, I won't sell you this land," Tom retracted.
• "No, I won't!" she said heatedly.
• "No, it didn't go up my sleeve," said Tom underhandedly.
• "No, it's by the ale," he said stoutly.
• "No, she put men's cologne on him," he replied brutally.
• "No, son, the eyeholes in the sheet go in front! said Duke, clandestinely.
• "No, you can't have any of my oysters," said Tom shellfishly.
• "No, you have to do it again," reiterated Tom loopily.
• "Nobody is better at elaborate confidence games than I," said Tom stinkingly.
• "Nothing is indelible," said Tom irascibly.
• "Now all I have to do for this banknote is engrave the portrait," Tom forged ahead.
• "Now how can I trick Sidney?" Tom considered.
• "Now I can chop down that tree," said Tom with a heavy accent.
• "Now I can do some painting," said Tom easily.
• "Now I'll NEVER dance," said Tom defeatedly.
• "Now I've got uranium in my bloodstream!" said Tom vaingloriously.
• "Now no-one can detect my halitosis," said Tom breathlessly.
• "Now patients can get a second opinion without leaving the office," said Tom paradoxically.
• "Now THAT's sloppy embroidery," Tom needled cruelly.
• "Now THAT's worth stealing," said Tom abstractly.
• "Now we remove the NH2 group," said Tom during the examination.
• "Now we'll have to replace all the ship's windows," Tom reported.
• "Now where did I put that magazine?" Tom asked periodically.
• "Of course I can be seen, heard, and smelt," said Tom sensibly.
• "Of course I can do the rising trot," was Tom's posted reply.
• "Of course I can make armour out of chains," Tom replied by mail.
• "Of course I still masturbate," said Tom with a look of self-satisfaction.
• "Of course I'll cooperate." Al lied.
• "Of course this is eight inches," Tom said (but that was stretching things).
• "Of course you graduated," said Tom diplomatically.
• "Oh boy, I'm head of the refreshment committee!" said Tom, pleased as punch.
• "Oh dear, I forgot to take my pill," said Mary pregnantly.
• "Oh my goodness!" said Tom graciously.
• "Oh them... They're down there..." he said condescendingly
• "Oh, gawd, it's the 'lying native' thing again," he said paradoxically.
• "Oh, goody! Another blackout!" said Tom delightedly.
• "Oh, stop talking about the Dreyfus case. Don't you like the colour of my eyes?" asked Esther hazily.
• "Oh, this house tastes good!" said Hansel and Gretel, gingerly.
• "Oh-No, it'll soon be June," Tom said in dismay.
• "OK Mom, I'm going to hypnotize you now," said Tom transparently.
• "OK, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.
• "Okay, sho I drank too much," said Tom, sotto voce.
• "Okay, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.
• "Okay, you can have the gloves without lining," Tom deferred.
• "Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now," said Tom conceitedly.
• "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," said Tom grimly.
• "One can't dispute the fundamental importance of learning the alphabet," Abie ceded.
• "One lump or two?" asked Mary sweetly.
• "One of the ten finalists in the 'London derriere' contest had to drop out," said Tom asininely.
• "Only one heartbeat away from the presidency" Dan quayled.
• "Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.
• "Oops, I stepped in gui!" he said, objectingly.
• "Oops, I think I might have a piece of coal in my shorts," said Tom stochastically. (Think about it. It's really funny!)
• "Oops, I've ripped my pants!" was Tom's unseemly comment.
• "Orgasms are overrated," said Tom anticlimactically.
• "Orlando's by Virginia," said Tom wolfishly.
• "Ouch! I pinched my cheek trying to put on this earring," said Mary mysteriously.
• "Ouch! When I get stung, I want revenge," said Tom begrudgingly.
• "Ought I to do this?" asked Tom with a shudder.
• "Out, out, damned spot!" said Lady Macbeth disdainfully.
• "Pardon," said Gerald Ford freely.
• "Pardon?" said Bill defiantly.
• "Parsley, sage, rosemary," said Tom timelessly.
• "Pass the Aunt Jemima," Tom asked surreptitiously.
• "Pass the cards," said Tom ideally.
• "People who sell fancy foods should be careful with knives," said Tom delicately.
• "Perhaps he's a former Palestinian commie?" explored Tom.
• "Perhaps I will," said Tom with all his might.
• "Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete!" Tom repeated.
• "Pfui," Mark spitzed.
• "Pick a card, any card," he said magically.
• "Place all your Tom Swifties here," said Tom stoically.
• "PLEASE don't let me fall apart," pleaded Tom gloomily.
• "Please don't sneeze with your mouth full, said Tom to the carpet-layer tactfully.
• "Please get in the elevator," said Tom uppishly.
• "Please keep Ian on salary even if he does no work; banish not sweet Ian, kind Ian, true Ian, valiant Ian from thy company," was Tom's Falstaffian plea.
• "Please pass me the oranges," was Tom's fruitless request.
• "Please save the branches of our trees," said Tom limply.
• "Please, Christopher," said Tom crisply.
• "Pretend we were in the days before railways," Tom coached.
• "Promote that demon to the House of Lords," commanded Tom imperiously.
• "Put this apple on your head," William said crossly.
• "Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets!" said Tom distractingly.
• "Rasputin and I are lovers," said Nicholas bizarrely.
• "Remove that chain linked barrier," he said defensively.
• "Reset your modem speed, sexy," he said baudily.
• "Rowing so much hurts my hands," said Tom callously.
• "Sailing on this lake is easy," said Tom plainly.
• "Save the dolphins!" Tom said porpisely.
• "Sell shares of the football team in Chicago," he said bearishly.
• "Shall I frost the cake?" Tom offered icily.
• "She even flies her own jet," Tom leered.
• "She must be wearing mink," Tom inferred.
• "She wore a smoke-coloured dress at dinner," said Tom ingratiatingly.
• "She's already married," said Tom mistakenly.
• "She's mine," averred the Cockney chauvinist.
• "Ships ahoy!" said Tom fleetingly.
• "Short back and sides?" asked Tom barbarously.
• "Since in this statement 'Y = COSH(X)', X is invariant, let's pre-compute Y before we enter the loop," said Tom precociously.
• "Since the leftmost bit of a normalized mantissa is always 1, let's just omit it," said Tom significantly.
• "Skool is grate," said Tom comprehensively.
• "So only one person arrived at the party before I did?" Tom second-guessed.
• "So that's the way the wind blows," said Tom vainly.
• "So THAT's where the next character is going to appear," said Tom after a cursory glance.
• "So this is your new computer!" said Tom calculatingly.
• "Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers," said Tom soothingly.
• "Some you lose," said Tom winsomely.
• "Someday I'll run the CIA" said young Tom aspiringly.
• "Someone bumped into me while I was brushing my teeth," said Tom with a gleam in his eye.
• "Someone stole my computer terminal," said Tom disconsolately.
• "Someone stole my electrolytic capacitor!" Tom charged negatively.
• "Someone wrote on my desk again," he remarked.
• "Something will have to be done to reduce the brightness of that Jovian satellite," Tom yodelled.
• "Sometimes I prefer 'just intonation'; sometimes I prefer Pythagorean tuning," said Tom temperamentally.
• "Sometimes I use an aluminum container," he said candidly.
• "Song of the dolphins? I'll sing bass," he said, fishing for a compliment.
• "South Korea has a lovely capital city," said Tom soulfully.
• "Stand over there so I can take your picture," proposed Tom to the hooker.
• "Stop that horse!" cried Tom woefully.
• "STOP!!!" Tom screeched.
• "Superglue!" Tom rejoined.
• "Sure it does! It ends over by those evergreens," he opined.
• "Sure I've used the Unix stream editor," said Tom.
• "Sure, I'll get rid of those jewels for you," said Tom defensively.
• "Swifties and palindromes don't mix," said Eve Dias.
• "Take me to the dance," Mary bawled.
• "Take me to your leader," Thang directed.
• "Take tea and see," said Tom briskly.
• "Take that, you bitch," O.J. expounded.
• "Take the prisoner downstairs" he said, condescendingly.
• "Take your hand from my blouse!" Mary tittered.
• "Thanks for sugar coating my corn flakes," said Tony grrrrrrratefully.
• "Thanks for the manatees," Bob mooed wetly.
• "That Amazon queen wanted me for only one thing," said Tom studiously.
• "That bull has real stage presence," said Tom oratorically.
• "That certainly took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
• "That city will NEVER be rebuilt," the prophets babble on.
• "That dog's a mongrel," Tom muttered.
• "That gives me a birdie for this hole," Tom chipped in.
• "That hippopotamus is faulty!" said Tom hypocritically.
• "That horse looks like a good bet at 17 to 1," said Tom oddly.
• "That hydroelectric facility is so beautiful I think I'll pass out!" said Tom, fainting with dam praise.
• "That is remarkable," remarked Tom.
• "That joke stank," she said pungently.
• "That just doesn't add up," said Tom, nonplussed.
• "That line just grazed the circle," he said tangentially.
• "That may cause my violin strings to snap," was Tom's gut reaction.
• "That one made me sick," she said nauseously.
• "That penny pincher always wants to be addressed in a formal manner," Tom surmised.
• "That quadruplet doesn't seem to get along with his brothers and sister," said Tom quibblingly.
• "That religious person couldn't have been on time," Tom postulated. (The pun is on "postulant".)
• "That was a googly," said Tom boldly.
• "That was pointed criticism," he said acutely.
• "That young insect is female," said Tom gallantly.
• "That young insect is male," said Tom buoyantly.
• "That's a base lie, but you're the salt of the earth."
• "That's a lie!" said Tom in falsetto.
• "That's a very large shark," said Tom superficially.
• "That's all been taken care of," Tom pretended.
• "That's my gold mine!" Tom claimed.
• "That's OK!" said Tom finally.
• "That's price-fixing!" said Tom caustically.
• "That's the last time I go to a whorehouse," said Tom crabbily.
• "That's the worst oyster I've ever eaten," said Tom retchedly.
• "That's torn it!" said Bill tearfully.
• "The baboons are at it again!" was Tom's zoophytic analysis.
• "The bank doesn't want me as a customer," said Tom unaccountably.
• "The British royal motto is Honi soit qui, qui -- no, it's Dieu et mon, er -- oh, I forget," said Tom maladroitly.
• "The cat seems happy," said Tom on purpose.
• "The censors took all the dirty bits out of my show," said Tom deludedly.
• "The cheque is in the post," Tom assented.
• "The current is ample," said Tom potentially.
• "The dam is back to front," said the builder madly.
• "The diagnosis is hypo-thermia," the doctor said coldly.
• "The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm," said Tom humourlessly.
• "The door's ajar," said Tom openly.
• "The Earth is not a sphere!" he flatly stated.
• "The eclipse is starting," said Tom darkly.
• "The enemy has taken stronghold F," said Tom effortlessly.
• "The entire map collection has been stolen!" said Tom xerographically.
• "The escaped prisoner is camping out in the woods," said Tom contentedly.
• "The executioner has received the tool he needs," said Tom with a heavy accent.
• "The exit is right there," Tom pointed out.
• "The fire's going out!" Tom bellowed.
• "The French expression for 'There's a green worm in my glass' is 'Il y a un ver vert dans mon verre'," said Tom reverently.
• "The girl's been kidnapped," said Tom mistakenly.
• "The heater is busted," she said chillingly.
• "The insect in William's hand is wearing a yarmulka!" said Tom jubilantly.
• "The jelly is 50% set," Tom affirmed.
• "The jogging moron is wearing a suit," he said in a random fashion.
• "The laser is broken," said Tom incoherently.
• "The lion has its head caught in the skylight," said Tom uproariously.
• "The monster in the lake has eaten my cake," said Tom necessarily.
• "The number after nine must be knighted," said Tom certainly.
• "The number of people not attending class today really bothers me," said the professor absent-mindedly.
• "The optician probably doesn't have my glasses ready yet," Tom speculated.
• "The performance was equal to the music," said Tom noteworthily.
• "The pH of this solution is just 3.5," said Tom half-assedly.
• "The pool player from USC had to drop out because the proper equipment didn't arrive on time," Tom calculated.
• "The prisoner escaped by climbing down a rope," said Tom condescendingly.
• "The prisoner is planting a garden," he conceded.
• "The prisoners set up a corporation," the warden confirmed.
• "The proof of the pudding is in the eating," said Tom nonjudgementally.
• "The radio reception is much better now," said Tom ecstatically.
• "The roof is about to collapse," Tom upheld.
• "The roof is leaking again," said Tom problematically.
• "The seesaw is upside down," said Tom saucily.
• "The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically.
• "The size of those cobs is a-maize-ing!" was Tom's corny joke.
• "The Soviet press is useful on hot days," said Tom fantastically.
• "The stock market's going up," said Tom bullishy.
• "The sun is rising," Tom mourned.
• "The test came back Negative," Mary said unexpectedly.
• "The tire's flat, but we have an extra one," he said sparingly.
• "The transit system could reduce its deficit by steeply charging those passengers on their way to rock concerts and sports events," said Tom with considerable fanfare.
• "The value of my waterfront property would increase if the U.S. and Canadian governments could agree to de-pollute the lake," said Tom in a superior manor.
• "Then buy into Chicago's basketball team, " he requested bullishly.
• "Then pull up your blue jeans," he panted.
• "Theodore, you will soon be promoted from editor to editor-in-chief," said the cannibal heatTedly.
• "There are a lot of leaves in my yard," Tom said rakishly.
• "There are no more I/O operations to do today," Tom disclosed. (Or: "This slipped object is hard to find," the surgeon disclosed.)
• "There is no end to this sequence of digits," said Tom irrationally.
• "There is Tide in the affairs of men," he said, washing his hands of the matter.
• "There it is again!" Tom recited.
• "There, there," was Tom's pat answer.
• "There's a blood-sucking insect in my French cheese," said Tom briefly.
• "There's a term for people like you," Tom sobbed.
• "There's no hope we'll get any dope when the captain looks up the periscope," said Tom subversively.
• "There's no need for silence," Tom allowed.
• "There's no need to perfume this after purchase," said Tom during his presentation.
• "There's nothing to stop me putting things in tins," said Tom cannily.
• "There's nothing wrong with demons," was Tom's implicit message.
• "There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
• "There's safety in unexciting gentlemen," said Mary indulgently.
• "These @#$%*! circuit breakers!" swore Tom profusely.
• "These are the propulsion systems used by NASA for the moonshots," said Tom apologetically.
• "These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8," said Tom bitingly.
• "These boxing gloves are too big," said Tom heavy-handedly.
• "These genes are dominant," said Tom expressively.
• "These jokes turn my stomach," said Tom wretchedly.
• "These pants are not short enough," said Mary hotly.
• "These Paris streets sure have funny names," said Tom ruefully.
• "They are not answering - we'd better try the knocker," said Tom adoringly.
• "They have their reasons" said Tom wisely.
• "They'll never stop," Mike said continually.
• "They'll want a picture of me at the dinner table," Tom supposed.
• "They're going to sue us again," said a reliable source.
• "Things are always happening to me," said Tom incidentally.
• "This ain't real turtle soup!" said Tom mockingly.
• "This bird has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
• "This boat is leaking," said Tom balefully.
• "This boat leaks," said Tom balefully.
• "This bottle won't hold any more dishwashing liquid" she said joyfully.
• "This brush isn't helping my hair one bit," Tom snarled.
• "This bud's for you," said Tom lightly.
• "This chicken has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
• "This computer display is shocking," said Tom electrically.
• "This country will no longer have an official religion," King Tom decreed.
• "This decay wasn't there before," said Tom neurotically.
• "This dugout is infested," said Tom trenchantly.
• "This feather seems to improve the act," said Tom dramatically.
• "This file's too big for ed, ex, or vi" Tom sed.
• "This food tastes of plutonium," said Tom glowingly.
• "This game is foul," Tom groused.
• "This has been a grave undertaking," said Tom cryptically.
• "This has too much pepper," Tom sneezed.
• "This house is in good taste!" said Hansel and Gretel gingerly.
• "This is a *wild* feline smilee." Bob catted.
• "This is a delicious Golden Delicious," said Tom applaudingly.
• "This is a feline smilee." Tom catted.
• "This is a picture of my new house," said Tom, visibly moved.
• "This is a really strong drug," Tom concluded.
• "This is a rough situation," Troi said sensitively.
• "This is a sick bird of prey," said Tom illegally.
• "This is a soft bed." Matt rested.
• "This is all from memory," Tom wrote.
• "This is an imitation diamond," said Tom stonily.
• "This is as vile as the Threepenny Opera," said Tom curtly.
• "This is how he murdered the mystery writer," Tom described.
• "This is how to put an imp in a restraining jacket," Tom demonstrated.
• "This is how we program." Flo charted
• "This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully.
• "This is my assessment," said Tom irately.
• "This is not a Black and White issue," Tom intoned.
• "This is the fastest way to get drunk," said Tom quixotically.
• "This is the first step towards my thesis," said Tom abstractly.
• "This is the most common language used on micros," said Tom basically.
• "This is the Netherlands," Tom stated flatly.
• "THIS is the real male goose," said Tom as he produced the propaganda.
• "This is what I have learned off by heart" Tom wrote.
• "This is where I keep my arrows," said Tom, quivering.
• "This isn't digital." Anna logged.
• "This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn," said Tom slowly.
• "This meat is hard to chew," Tom beefed jerkily.
• "This milk is cold as ice," she screamed.
• "This movie will be very popular," Tom projected.
• "This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.
• "This must be Nebraska," Tom stated flatly.
• "This must be the high-voltage lead," said Tom crisply.
• "This Neanderthal needs something to eat," Tom observed.
• "This place is going to the dogs," he barked.
• "This rectangle's sides are all the same length," Tom said sqarely.
• "This river is rough," said Tom rapidly.
• "This salad dressing has too much vinegar," said Tom acidly.
• "This steam-roller really works," said Tom flatteringly.
• "This student appealed his grade, so I have to score his exam again," Tom remarked.
• "This tooth extraction could take for ever," said Tom with infinite wisdom.
• "This value has to be converted to floating point," Tom realized.
• "This will get me into the royal bedroom," said Tom kinkily.
• "This wind is awful," blustered Tom.
• "This, that, these, those, and such," said Tom demonstratively.
• "Thomas O. Hawk, the native American plays ball in Atlanta" he said bravely.
• "Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude," said Tom barbarically.
• "Those cars we shipped have a defective part," Tom recalled.
• "Those cobs are amazing!" said Tom cornily.
• "Those hookers are putting notices in the personals," Tom advised.
• "TIMBER!" barked the lumberjack.
• "Time flies," said Tom entomochronometrically.
• "To be a model or not to be," was the question Mary posed.
• "To boldly go where no man has gone before" said Jim, enterprisingly.
• "To pee or not to pee?" the Miss quoted.
• "To write the full history of St. Joan would take LOTS of paper," Tom ream-Arc'd.
• "Too much giving might kill you" he replied gravely.
• "Troops, I guess there won't be a Christmas show this year," said Tom hopelessly.
• "Try on this outfit," Yves said designingly.
• "Turn down the air conditioner," he said cooly.
• "Turn the record player down," said Tom disquietingly.
• "Umph! Umph! Umph!", cried Tom triumphantly.
• "Unhand me, you cad," she said disarmingly.
• "Unhand me, you cod," she said, fishing.
• "Use phenolphthalein," Tom indicated.
• "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.
• "Vere ist ze bathroom?" asked Hans peevishly.
• "Vote for Reagan," said Tom electronically.
• "Wait", they replied, heavily
• "Wanna stop for burgers?" Tom said archly.
• "Watch out for the screen door" he said in a strained voice.
• "Watch this insect sail through the air," said Tom flippantly.
• "We ain't got enough cash," he stated rather poorly.
• "We can light the fireplace," he replied warmly.
• "We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
• "We could use the Geiger-Muller method to check for radiation leaks," Tom countered.
• "We did it twice last night," she relayed.
• "We don't have room for any more peripherals," said Tom bus-ily.
• "We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights," said the NASA engineer apologetically.
• "We have to increase taxes to save the poor," he said liberally.
• "We in the Conservative Party believe in having a good time," said Tom meritoriously.
• "We must support K-9 Police units," he said doggedly.
• "We need a 10-gauge needle," Tom hypothesized.
• "We need a ventilation machine in storage space upstairs," he said fanatically.
• "We need more bread for the donairs," Tom repeated.
• "We publish one of the few dictionaries that define 'Tom Swifty'," said Tom at random.
• "We sent the prisoners down in the basement to check the circuit breakers," he said confusedly.
• "We steal things together," Tom corroborated.
• "We, the jury, sentence the defendent to the electric chair," the foreman sizzled.
• "Welcome to the Annual Meatcutter's Convention!" delivered Tom.
• "Welcome!" said the matador.
• "We'll have fun cleaning out all that soap," he replied zestfully.
• "Well, don't bring it hither!" Tom yawned.
• "Well, I got here with five minutes to spare," said Tom bitterly.
• "Well, I just bought a sports car" he replied triumphantly.
• "Well, I'll be a sonovabitch!" Tom said doggedly.
• "Well, monaural and quadriphonic systems are the exception," said Tom stereotypically.
• "Well, that tree definitely isn't a conifer," Tom decided.
• "We're all out of Amontillado," Tom reported.
• "We're all out of flowers," he said lackadaisically.
• "We're currently thinking about a figure somewhere between 7 and 9," said Tom considerately.
• "We're not in tune. Are you sure you aren't singing flat?" asked Tom sharply.
• "We're philatelists," they shouted collectively.
• "We've just brought gold and frankincense," the Magi demurred.
• "We've taken over the government," the general cooed.
• "We've taken over the government," the general cooed.
• "What a charming doorway!" said Tom, entranced.
• "What ample bosoms those chorus girls have!" remarked Tom robustly.
• "What are these berries?" Tom rasped.
• "What are you taking taking pictures of?" Tom snapped.
• "What DID that brain surgeon do to me," Tom said absentmindedly.
• "What do ants and bees use for cattle?" asked Tom avidly.
• "What do you think of Sixties British vocalists," said Tom Swift petulantly.
• "What do you think of the Tibetan ox?" yackety-yakked Tom.
• "What goes around, comes around," he said recursively.
• "What I do best on a camping trip is sleep," said Tom intently.
• "What in the #$^% is your problem with Champagne," he popped off.
• "What section is this?" he asked inforumally.
• "What should I do about this P.S.?" asked Tom submissively.
• "What we need is more people like Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald," said Tom moronically.
• "What will be our net?" asked the NJ basketball coach.
• "What would be a good name for a girl born on Christmas Day?" asked Tom, adjusting his tie nattily.
• "What would you say if the Conservatives were re-elected?" asked Tom re-tory-cally.
• "What's a wide-angle lens?" asked Tom obtusely.
• "What's the best time to plant peonies?" was Tom's perennial question.
• "What's the score in the Stevie Wonder vs. Ray Charles tennis game?" asked Tom lovingly.
• "What's the value of a dollar bill?" asked Tom noteworthily.
• "What's this black stain round my mouth?" asked Tom succinctly.
• "What's wrong with a few tea leaves?" asked Tom deceivingly.
• "When he was a child, did Bob Hope to become an entertainer?"
• "When I swore, my mother made me eat soap," said Tom zestfully.
• "When I'm worried, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry 'Eep!'" said Tom, knee-deep in trouble.
• "When in Rome, do all the naughty things the Romans do," said Mary romantically.
• "When 're-inventing the wheel', one must make sure that the outer edge is circular," Tom rim-arc'd.
• "Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles," said Tom divertingly.
• "Where did the cork go?" He popped.
• "Where shall I plant these water-lilies?" Tom pondered.
• "Where's the cheese?" asked Tom gratingly.
• "Which of you is the managing director?" Tom asked, bored
• "Who would want to steal modern art?" asked Tom abstractedly.
• "Who? What?" asked Tom warily.
• "Whoa!" said Paul Revere hoarsely.
• "Who's your favourite operatic tenor?" Tom asked placidly.
• "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart," say the synoptic Gospels.
• "Why are so many of these Tom Swifties about insects?" asked the tyrant.
• "Why are you lying down so close to me?" asked Adam naively.
• "Why are you writing elegies at THIS hour? You should be in bed, young lady," the curfew told Nell.
• "Why do I have to strip naked AGAIN?" asked Tom rebuffingly.
• "Why do they burn aromatic substances at these tournaments?" asked Tom, justly incensed.
• "Why do you bother? I for one couldn't...," said Tom carelessly.
• "Why don't you get a job as a disgorger at the winery," she bubbled.
• "Why is this telephone flex always tangled?" asked Tom coyly.
• "Why shouldn't I stir my yogurt with a ballpoint pen?" Tom bickered.
• "Why shouldn't I talk to birds?" asked Tom as he ogled.
• "Why shouldn't there be a special case for addressing people?" asked Tom provocatively.
• "Why use SI units? The old c.g.s. units are my friends," said Tom dynamically.
• "Why would anyone want to play a role-playing game?" Tom questioned.
• "Why would anyone want to start an Institute for the Mute?" asked Tom dumbfoundedly.
• "Why you parasitic insect, our debts now exceed our assets!" said Tom incredulously.
• "Would anyone like some Parmesan?" asked Tom gratingly.
• "Would you like some chocolate-covered insects on your long bun?" asked the waiter subserviently.
• "Would you like some soda in your whiskey?" asked Tom caustically.
• "Would you like to buy an alarm?" asked Tom self-righteously.
• "Would you like to buy some cod?" asked Tom selfishly.
• "Wouldn't just gold and frankincense do?" the Magi demurred.
• "Wow!" barked Tom, with a bow.
• "X is an integer," Tom declared.
• "Years from you'll give thanks for memories," said Bob hopefully.
• "Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.
• "Yes, I have read Gulliver's Travels," said Tom swiftly.
• "Yes, I was in the chicken coop when it exploded," admitted Tom, with egg on his face.
• "Yes, I wrote 'Pictures at an Exhibition', but only the piano version," said the composer modestly.
• "Yes, I'm THAT strongly built," said Tom soberly.
• "You and Patricia deserve each other," said Tom meretriciously.
• "You are going to fail my class," said the teacher degradingly.
• "You can do it!" Pep talked.
• "You can use my stud for 100 dollars," was Tom's feeble offer.
• "You can't leave," Tom said restrainedly.
• "You could always sound-proof your apartment," Tom allowed noisily.
• "You could try changing the layout of this microprocessor," Tom chipped in.
• "You don't have to introduce us," said Tom metaphorically.
• "You don't see the point, do you?" asked Tom, making a stab in the dark.
• "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
• "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
• "You have to support the right party to get ahead," said the politician patronizingly.
• "You hit the bullseye with that one," he said archly.
• "You know, I don't think Hamlet was so great," she said disdainfully.
• "You lamb!" said Tom sheepishly.
• "You made the collar too tight," he choked.
• "You may take a vacation in the south of France," said Tom nicely.
• "You might have cancer, uncle-" logically he said.
• "You must be my host" Tom guessed.
• "You must give me my alimony," expressed Tom's former wife, after which Tom almost expounded.
• "You really ought to study classical rhetoric," said Tom a quintillion times.
• "You resemble a goat," said Tom satirically.
• "You should *never* burn the Stars and Stripes!" cried Tom flagrantly.
• "You should be peeling onions," was Tom's tirade. (Pronounce "tirade" with the "i" short.)
• "You should never use a double negative, but it's okay this time," said Tom not unkindly.
• "You shouldn't be writing elegies, young lady," the curfew told Nell.
• "You snake!" Tom rattled.
• "You won the bronze," said Tom meddlingly.
• "You'll not burn my Parsons table," she replied foursquarely.
• "Your drip-dries are crumpled," said the laundress ironically.
• "Your embroidery is terrible," Mary needled, cruelly.
• "Your fly is undone," was Tom's zippy rejoinder.
• "Your impulsiveness makes me itch," she said rashly.
• "Your meat, madam!" announced the two butcher boys jointly.
• "Your trousers have come apart!" was Tom's unseemly comment, which had us all in stitches.
• "You're a real zero," said Tom naughtily.
• "You're a wicked glutton," Tom insinuated.
• "You're busted!" said the policeman to Miss Parton.
• "You're losing your grippe!" said Tom fluently.
• "You're next, Mistress Ballantrae," said the cannibal masterfully.
• "You're right, the earth is not a sphere," he said oblately.
• "You're to cliquish," he said mousilly.
• "You're wearing a diaphragm," was Tom's penetrating observation.
• "You're yella," Nakamura said inscrutably.
• "You've got to be egging me on," yolked Tom.
• "You've stowed his ashes commendably," was Tom's well-earned compliment.
• "Zo please tell us what you have for zale," said Tom zealously.
• "Zoos are a necessary evil, I think," said Tom cagily.
• "Zzzz," said Tom possessively.
• Naughtily, Tom said nothing.
• Tom said recursively, "Tom said recursively, 'Tom said recursively, ...'"