Computer Creation
In the Beginning...
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
:Let there be light!
login: god
password: omnicsient
Login incorrect.
login: god
password: omniscient
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
% let there be light!
Bad command.
% create light
Done
% run heaven and earth
Created Day and Night.
0 errors.
God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
% Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Bad command.
% create firmament
Done.
% run firmament
God made the earth.
0 errors.
God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2. Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
% Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
Bad command.
% create dry_land
Done.
% run firmament
God divided the waters.
0 errors.
God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
% create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type.
% create sun_moon_stars
Done.
% run sun_moon_stars
God saw the day and the night.
0 errors.
God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4. Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
% create fish
Done.
% create fowl
Done.
% run fish, fowl
God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
0 errors.
God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5. Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.
God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
% create cattle
Done.
% create creepy_things
Done.
% Now let us make man in our image
Bad command.
% create man
Done.
% Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Bad command.
% run multiplication
Execution terminated.
6 errors.
% insert breath
Done.
% run multiplication
Execution terminated.
5 errors.
% mv man Garden_of_Eden
% run multiplication
Execution terminated.
4 errors.
% cp man woman
% run multiplication
Execution terminated.
3 errors.
% woman < man
Illegal parameter.
% man < woman
Done.
% run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
% create desire
Done.
% run multiplication
God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying Warning: No time limit on this run.
1 errors.
% create freewill
Done.
% run freewill
God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying
Warning: No time limit on this run.
1 errors.
% destroy desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
% destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
% help desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
% create tree_of_knowledge
God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying
Warning: No time limit on this run.
1 errors.
% create good
% create evil
% activate evil
God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden_of_Eden.
1 errors.
% grep Garden_of_Eden man
No match.
% destroy shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
% destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
% kill %1
No such process.
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
% create new_world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
% rm earth
Override protection? [y/N]
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 7 AT 0:01
Connection closed.
God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6. Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.