Probable Proverbs

---

Briefly, one attempts to re-phrase items in various catetgories (e.g. proverbs, quotations, media and common objects/situations, songs, etc) using as many words that start with the same letter as possible (the literary term for this is alliteration).


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names shall never hurt me.

• limbs and lithoids lay waste to my life-laden latticelings, alas alias lingo leaves little loathesome lesion.

Killing two birds with one stone.

• dispatching duo doves with an individual diamond.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

• Sole sparrow seized surely seems superior to several shrubbery-sheltered sparrows.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

• something sans sauteer, assimilated as singed subject.
• came from the cooker, caught in combustion.
• ejected from escoffier's eats-emitting engine, entered essential energy-emitting element.

Strike while the iron is hot.

• Macerate metal, maintaining moltenness.

Six of one, a half-dozen of the other.

• A decimated drei-score of dos doppleganger, doubles in ditto denomination.

Loose lips sink ships.

• Unpursed puckerers puncture pontoons.
• Tattling tooth tents torpedo travelers.
• Babbling bussers bomb battleships.
• Kissers akimbo kayo kayaks.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

• Perdition's passion pales upon juxtaposition with a pissed, pretty person who pines for her props.

All's well that ends well.

• Totality thrives though it terminates terrifically.

All that glitters is not gold.

• Don't 'spose the spectrum of spectrally speckled specimens is specifically

spelunked specialty.
Don't burn your bridges.

• Keep the kibosh on kissing off your kwai-kingers as kindling.

Beggars can't be choosers.

• Avoid athenians administering asthetic appointments.

Appearances can be deceiving.

• Facades may foster fooling.

The early bird catches the worm.

• Dawn doves devour delicious delicacies.
• An advanced arising and anticipatory aves acquires the annelid.

Don't cry over spilt milk.

• Lighten!: lose lamenting lip-listed lactose liquid.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

• Obviate open organizer's only occupation of owned ova.

He who hesitates is lost.

• Delay is deadly.

A person pausing perishes.

• the man who mulls it over merets misplacement.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

• A xenolith extending x-ways to its axis exacts no xylem-related oxygen exhumers.
• A listing lithoid locates lacking lichen.

Stop and smell the roses.

• Whoa and whiff the woo-weeds.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

• Jump-start and jolt on joe.

No man is an island.

• Few find themselves to be friend or family of the Falklands.
• No person performs as a pinched off peninsula.
• No human hails himself as Hawaii.
• Anyone acting as a atoll is always atypical.
• A walkway always awaits a woman without wading in water.
• An absence of anyone ain't an archipelagoic annex.

Spread the table and contention will cease.

• Set the sustenance and skirmishes will settle.
• Vivify the vittles and vying will vanish.
• Dole out the dinner and donnybrooks will desist.
• Lay out the lunchable libations and the lunging will lapse.
• Establish the eats and the embroilments will ebb.
• Annouce the appetizers and arguments abate.
• Burden the board and battles will abort.
• Cover the cloth with coldcuts and cursing will be cured.
• Furnish the feast and fighting wil finish.

A saint abroad and a devil at home

• Sanctified sea-bound sight-seer sticks to sinning Stateside.
• Deity-debted diplomat doubles as demon domestically.
• A good guy globally, but a grief-giver when grounded.

Last but not least

• Trailing, in truth, trans-trivial
• Subsequent sans simple superficiality
• Ambling after, although anti-atomic
• Acting as an antecedent, and yet adequate
• Final, but far from frivolous

We're not in Kansas anymore.

• None of us is near Nebraska's neighbor nowadays.

Ancient Chinese secret, eh?

• Old oriental obfuscation, oh.
• Hoary hunan hermeticism, harumph.
• Kept Cantonese question-causing carry-over, que?.

Smile! You're on Candid Camera.

• Turn the tips of your tooth tents toward the top of your talker: to wit, your untutored torso has been trapped in tableau.
• Rejoice, for your reflection is being recorded unrehearsed.
• Show your sparklers; you are seen in spontaneity.

Fiddler on the Roof

• Stradivarius stroker standing astride the shelter's summit.

Never let them see you sweat.

• Bring about blindness in beholders to blot out beads of bodily fluids.
• Avoid allowing any and all to actualize your aqueous annointment.

Where's the beef.

• Search for sirloin steak.
• Help! Who hid the hamburger?.
• locate the lower.

Actual mileage may vary.

• The real ratio of ruled road to rotation is rather unreliable.
• Determined distance may deviate.

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

• Similarity to sentients, sans selectivity, is simply secondary.

Parental guidance is suggested.

• Ancestral aim art advised.

Hey, big spender.

• Attention, atlantean assimilater.

Live long and prosper.

• Eke out eternity ergo enjoy euphoric encore.
• Evade extinguishing exhale episode and elicit earnings.
• Elect extra existence and evince exchange estimates.
• Eject Earth-bound escrow and exercise economic elitism.
• Excede elapsing expectations and erect an estate.
• Eschew your epitaph, yet embrace an ego-centered empire.
• Express essence-ending event and essay empowered equity.
• Engineer evitable expiration and excellence ensues.
• Evolve over the eons and excede enough.
• Ejaculate from the encumbered enclosure of entry-level entombment and escape erstwhile empty-handedness.
• Endeavor to eradicate early evanescense and explore enhanced entitlement.
• Extrapolate an embarking from ebbing entropy and emancipate exceptional eligibility.
• Eliminate elemental egress and experience egalitarian elevation.
• Exacerbate enlarged establishment and envelop enterprise.
• Exact an epochal eagle and exalt in earnest.
• Employ energy, emerge out of elderly effrontery and evoke epitome of excess.
• Escape eternal exit stage-left, even, be extravagant envy of everyone.
• Augment age and abound.
• Bolster breath and be blessed.

Thanksgiving

• informal feted folly of food, football and far-flung family formerly federal festival for founding forefathers
• tryptophan-tricked turkey to-do tossed to teach truths of territory-taking toasting Turkey
• Multi-plumed must-see mascot meant for merry-month's & Macy's-month's main meal martyrdom Football
• leatheroid lugged & lofted over lined land laden with leaders & losers, often loading the lucky loanee's linings with lucre

Body Parts

• Head: crucial cranial acubic configuration of critical controls and condition collectors
• Eye: fluid-filled filter of photophilic fodder
• Ear: sound sensing stoma situated sidelong the skull-skin
• Nose: person's perfume picker posed prone o'er possessor's piehole
• Mouth: taste tunnel toting a tongue, tooth tents, tonsils, teeth and a tale-turner
• Hair: countless conditioned collection of colored cords covering the kopf oft causing cuteness and called a coif
• Teeth: Man's maw's many mini-masticaters n' molars meant for munching morsels and making "t"s
• Chin: protruding process providing pride and proboscis protection
• Eyebrow: his and her hirsute head header heading height hierarchy with other half and hairdo
• Moustache: his honker-hanging hair highlight hiding ham-n-"Hi!"-hole and hinting at other humans (hopefully not Hitler)
• Body: ambulatory anatomical animated aggregate alive and always aging
• Arm: limb, light on length, lettering in leveraging loads
• Leg: stereomorphic stilt styled for strutting, standing, schtupping, stopping & stooping
• Butt: trunk terminus trained to toilet, to take ten ticks & to tackle teeter-totters ; tis tyke's tutoring target
• Hand: digit-adorned device ideal for dialing, dealing, darning, dipping & drawing
• Foot: one of two walking widgets with wanderlust whether worldwide or wall-to-wall

United States of America

• half a hundred hectared human haunts.
• Consolidated colonies contiguous with Canada.
• The federated fifty friendlies of the free world.
• Gathered governments.
• Joined jurisdictions.

Watching TV

• channel choosing
• finding fun filtering phosphors
• video viewing
• program probing
• nosing around the networks
• broadcast browsing
• dialing for distraction
• tuning in today's tubecast

Legal terms

• Judge: prestigious promulgation presider who prohibits preconception
• Jury: pre-selected prudent proxy of prevalence
• Executioner: prosaic predator of prisoners
• Defence attorney: pricey practitioner of prepared prolixity
• D.A.: prosecutorial proponent of protracted probes
• Defendant: pretext prone pride-protecting prey of the proletariat
• Plaintiff: premium-pressing propagator of presumption
• Witness: produced prerequisite provider of proof

Pets

• All: Ambulatory affection allocators
• Cats and Dogs: Feline and fidoesque food and fund funnnels
• Birds: Nocturnally noisome needers of the next newspaper
• Fish: Picayunesque perpetually-propelling plant and pebble prowlers
• Popular pet purchase of the prepubescent set
• Introverts idea of intimate interaction
• Reptiles: Cringe-creating creepy crawlers
• Rodents: Filthy, furry, fitful, feral figure finally forced into fellowship with a feckless family, frequently featuring fecund ferrets
• Horses: Exclusive equines entertaining the establishment's elite

Dead Sea scrolls.

• Lifeless lake library.
• Morbid mare manuscripts.
• Obsolete ocean oeuvres.
• Purgatorial pool papyri.
• corpse cove copy.
• dried drink draftings.

Use only as directed.

• Practice application particularly and precisely as prescribed.
• Influence intention in way of instruction.

It's the humidity, not the heat.

• Tis mostly moisture more than the mere mercury.

Toaster.

• Shingle shader.
• Wonder winder.
• Melba maker.
• Loafette launcher.
• Wedding winnings.
• Shower shocker.
• bread browner
• crust crisper
• slice singe-er
• wheat warmer

Taking a bath

• Dermal dipping.
• Plying the pleasuring plunge.
• Water wading.
• Skull scrubbing.
• Zit zesting.
• Taking a tub tonic.
• Corporal cavity cleansing.
• Fallen funding.
• freckle freshening
• Bun basking.
• scrubbing the skin in a stew of suds.

The Lord of the Rings

• Manipulator of the manual marraige markers.
• Dominator of the digit decorations.
• Kingpin of the karated knuckle knickknacks.
• Signature signer circular settings' supervisor.

Quoth the raven "nevermore" as if his soul in that one word did outpour

• The magpie muttered "momentless", might he've meant in the monologism: "mercy on me".

I'm a bear with little brain.

• Groan...I'm a grizzly granted a grain of grey matter.

All Creatures Great and Small

• The entire entourage of enlivened entities, elephantine and elfin.
• The mass of mammals major and minor.
• A complete collection of carnivours, considerable and compact.
• The bulk of beasts, big and brief.

Call me Ishmael (any Biblical name should do, here)

• Affirm my appellation to be Ahab.
• Bid me be known as Beelzebub.
• Baptize me as Benjamin.
• Christen me Caleb.
• Dub me Daniel.
• Elect to enunciate Elijah.
• Frame me familiarly as Festus.
• My given is Gideon.
• Hail me as Hezekiah.
• Invoke me as Isaac.
• I'm known as Kora.
• Methinks my moniker is Methusaleh.
• Nickname me Noah.
• Pronounce me Pontius.
• Refer to me as Reuben.
• Say I am Seth.
• Toast me as Titus.
• I exist as Xerxes.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

• It was quite a quandary: equal quantities of quality and quagmire.
• An epoch that enjoyed excellence, yet evil existed.
• Certainly was a swell season, all the same, though, it seemingly sucked.
• Prosperity perservered, poverty persisted.

The shot heard round the world.

• The gun's gasp got gleaned globally.
• The fired 44 felt far afield.
• The ricocheting rifle round that reverberated in remote regions.
• The elephant gun echo that encircled the entire earth.
• The discharge distinctly discerned from a distance.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.

• In the depths of a diatomaceous divit delved a diminutive demi-dude.
• Esconced in an ecosystem's entryway was the earnest essence of edited ego-enterprise.
• Through the thicketed threshold thrived a thumb-sized thief.
• In a birm's boggy burrowed bore was borne Bilbo Baggins bearing bonhomme.
• 'Neath the nettled nook nestled a nervous nanoid of a gnome.
• Cooped in the cusp of a cavity cowers a cute condensed critter.
• Helming a heathly hovel of a hole was a heightless half-pint inhabitant he of humble heistmeisterhood.
• Tucked in a terrestrial tunnel ticks a Tatoo-esque tiny titan.
• In an aperature in the alluvium abode an abbreviated animal.
• In a burrow below the bushes bided a brownie.
• In a concavity on the common crouched a child-sized creature.
• Down a delving in the dirt dwelt a dwarf.
• In an excavation in the earth there existed and elf-like entity.
• In a furrow in a field was found a fairie.
• In a gash in the ground there grovelled a gremlin.
• In a hollow in the humus there hid a halfling.
• An indentation in the ice was inhabited by an itty-bitty imp.
• In a lowering in the land there lived a leprechaun.
• In a pit in the park there perched a pipsqueak.
• In a rut in the road resided a runt.
• Inside a sinking in the sod there settled a sprite.

Iron Butterfly

• Molten Moth
• Metal Monarch
• Ferric Flitterer

The Beatles
Maxwell's Silver Hammer

• agent 86's argentic anvil assaulter.

Yellow Submarine

• amber argosy.
• ochery ocean operative.
• jaundiced juice journeyer.

A Hard Day's Night

• das difficult diem's dusk-descendant.

Taxman

• gouge guy.
• assessment agent.
• revolting reprimander.

Fixing a Hole

• mending a mouth.
• improving an indent.
• darning a divot.

I Saw Her Standing There

• we witnessed the woman waiting that way.

Octopus's Garden

• cephalapod's seeding center.
• squid's squash square.
• pen-potion propeller's potato patch.

Glass Onion

• ceramic scallion
• light-letting leek
• translucent tuber

Back in the USSR

• returned re: Russia
• rejoined Georgia
• strayed son set sail for CCCP

I Want to Hold Your Hand

• I ache to 'ave your 'and.
• I yearn for you to yield your yes-yoke.
• I'd enjoy entangling the ends of our elbow extentions.
• I pine to press your palm
• I need to knead your knuckles

She came in through the bathroom window

• The woman wandered in where one can watch the washroom without waiting at the walkway.
• The lady leapt into the lavatory lookout.
• The princess penetrated the powder room portal.
• The vixen vaulted in via the vanity vent.
• Her hello hailed from the head's helios-hatch.

Let It Be

• foster forsaking.
• Allow aloneness.
• Permit passivity

Norwegian Wood

• scandinavian scaly-skinned skyscraper.
• lappish lumber.
• minnesotan motherland's maple.
• Oslo Oak.
• Finnish Forest
• Tirolian Timber

Ticket to Ride

• ducat to driveshare.
• token to tag.
• Permit to Proceed.
• Coupon to Cruise

Penny Lane

• rouble rue
• dram drive
• copper cul de sac
• peso paseo
• quid court
• franc freeway
• lira alley
• yen yonder-yielder
• two-bit turnpike
• budget bullion boulevard
• inexpensive ingot interstate
• mark mile
• guilder gravel grade
• bob bahn
• dinero detour
• doubloon dead-end
• farthing thoroughfare
• sixpence circle
• pfennig pavement
• Dime Drive.
• Shilling Street
• Ha'p'ny Highway

Woodstock

• bark bouillabaisse
• Birch broth.
• Spinney stereotype.
• timber tritely trivial.

Don't worry, be happy

• Shun unsureity, share in sugar and showerings of sunshine.

My funny valentine

• His or her humorous hand-held heart-hewn Hallmark or Hibrow.

Born to be Wild.

• Delivered and deigned dangerous.
• Fallopian-fed,then fertilly-founded for ferality.
• Created to curtail captivity.
• Bred in barbarism.