Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Crisis

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• Indecision is the key to flexibility.
• There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
• Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
• The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
• Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
• Things are more like they are today then they have ever been before.
• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
• If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
• All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
• Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
• There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
• Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.