Wifespeak - English Translation Guide
WifespeakEnglish
You wantYou want
We needI want
It's your decisionThe correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you wantYou'll pay for this later
We need to talkI need to complain
Sure...go aheadI don't want you to.
I'm not upsetOf course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manlyYou need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional!I'm on my period. And I'm not overreacting!
Be romantic, turn out the lights.I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient.I want a new house.
I want new curtainsand carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
I need wedding shoesthe other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture thereNo, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noiseI noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute.Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?[Too late, your dead.]
YesNo
NoNo
MaybeNo
I'm sorry.You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.
Was that the baby?Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling!Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we're going to buy is a soap dishIt goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocketbooks, and, ohmygod, there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing.Nothing.
Nothing.Everything.
Everything.My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really.It's just that you're such an asshole.
I don't want to talk about it.Go away, I'm still building up steam.