| Wifespeak | English |
| You want | You want |
| We need | I want |
| It's your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
| Do what you want | You'll pay for this later |
| We need to talk | I need to complain |
| Sure...go ahead | I don't want you to. |
| I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset, you moron. |
| You're...so manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot. |
| You're certainly attentive tonight. | Is sex all you ever think about? |
| I'm not emotional! | I'm on my period. And I'm not overreacting! |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights. | I have flabby thighs. |
| This kitchen is so inconvenient. | I want a new house. |
| I want new curtains | and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper... |
| I need wedding shoes | the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white |
| Hang the picture there | No, I mean hang it there! |
| I heard a noise | I noticed you were almost asleep. |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive. |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're really not going to like. |
| I'll be ready in a minute. | Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. |
| Is my butt fat? | Tell me I'm beautiful. |
| You have to learn to communicate. | Just agree with me. |
| Are you listening to me!? | [Too late, your dead.] |
| Yes | No |
| No | No |
| Maybe | No |
| I'm sorry. | You'll be sorry. |
| Do you like this recipe? | It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it. |
| Was that the baby? | Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. |
| I'm not yelling! | Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. |
| All we're going to buy is a soap dish | It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocketbooks, and, ohmygod, there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? |