| 0.0 | You can't even sing along with the air-raid siren. |
| 0.5 | You think "pitch" is something you do to a baseball. |
| 1.0 | You can tell the difference between rest notes and Kanji. |
| 1.5 | You know that Albinoni isn't a sea mollusk. |
| 2.0 | You can't wait for Romeo and Juliet to take their story to its tragic and well deserved conclusion. |
| 2.5 | You actually bought a copy of K-tell's "Greatest Opera Hits" |
| 3.0 | Your parents love opera, you'll watch it only if it's on TV. |
| 3.5 | You've got tapes of complete operas hidden in your car. |
| 4.0 | You include quotes from operas in your Usenet postings. |
| 4.5 | You think Mario Lanza got a raw deal. |
| 5.0 | You have season tickets to the MET's Mostly Mozart Festival |
| 5.5 | You have a plaster bust of Verdi on your toy piano. |
| 6.0 | You've memorized the fake french dialogue in Die Fledermaus. |
| 6.5 | You cry every time Mimi hides her cough from Ruldolfo. |
| 7.0 | You'd watch Andrea Chenier again. |
| 7.5 | You actually like the Wagnarian style. |
| 8.0 | You actually believe in Turandot's beauty through her aria, despite visual evidence to the contrary. |
| 8.5 | You've got Wagner's Ring Cycle memorized...both versions. |
| 9.0 | You've developed a better filing system than Koechel's. |
| 9.5 | Kiri Te Kanawa thinks you're cute. |
| 9.6 | You think Dane Joan Sutherland is a sexy mama. |
| 9.7 | Pavarotti, Carrera and Domingo compete for your autograph. |
| 10.0 | Caruso does cameos at your seances. |