Computing Definitions (2)
Analog:Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts
Backup:Opposite of go forward
Batch Processing:Making a lot of cookies at once
Binary:Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes
Bit:12 1/2 cents
Branch:If watered, it will grow into a computer club (see computer club)
Buffer:Programmer who works in the nude
Bug:1. Programmer's term for a feature 2. An elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. Note: the activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed
Character density:The number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space
Computer:A device designed to speed and automate errors
Computer Club:Used to strike computer forcefully upon receiving error messages
Coding:An addictive drug
Compile:A heap of decomposing vegetable matter
Compiler:Noah Webster (1758-1843)
Console:What one does to a "down" computer
Cursor:An expert in 4-letter words
Dump:A system programmer's work area
Feature:Hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative
Hardware:The parts of a computer which can be kicked
Keyboard:An instrument used for entering errors into a system
Language:A system of organizing and defining error messages
Loop:See loop
Machine-independent Program:A program which will not run on any machine
Microcomputer:One millionth of a computer
Null String:The result of a 4-hour database search
On-line:The idea that a human should always be accessible
Password:The nonsense word taped to your terminal
Performance:A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working about a month ago
Printer:Johann Gutenberg (1400-1468)
Quality Control:Ensuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand and add to the cost of its manufacture or design
Strategy:A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime after those creating it have left the organization
User:Someone requiring drug rehabilitation
8-bit machine:A computer selling for $1.00 (see bit)
16-bit machine:A computer selling for $2.00 (see bit)