Software I'd Like to See
KeyFind - Give your desktop the power to find your car keys! Cutting edge technology "listens" to you move about your home or office and registers the exact location where you mindlessly placed your keys. It's SmartVoice feature leads you back to that location by telling you you're "cold", "warm", "hot" or "burning up".

LitiGate - Lets you turn minor injuries into big bank accounts much faster than the court system. Just pick a wealthy celebrity and follow the easy steps.

WebSuck - Locates every web site still under construction.

ButtMill - Trim down those buns with your mouse! No more exhausting exercise programs.

ZitDoctor - Defragment your face!

Mr. Dentist - 3-D program lets you locate popcorn shells without using your tongue.

QUACKEN - Quickly finds a holistic herbal remedy for whatever ails you.

SockTracker - Use this application before you do your laundry. SockTracker Deluxe also does your laundry.

LunchShop - Lets women split their lunch tab to one billionth of a penny. A must for restaurateurs who want to greatly speed up their table turnaround.

JobSECURE - Uses your own voice to call in sick for you. Just choose one of hundreds of diseases and common ailments and JobSECURE will modify your voice accordingly.

AMENDER - Makes altering the Constitution fun and easy. Change it to benefit your commercial endeavors or to make everyone else comply to your particular moral and religious standards. Broke the law? Just change the law!

TanLine - Creates perfect horizontal, vertical and diagonal tan-colored lines instantly.

AssetASSESS - Before you commit to a relationship, check out their assets first.