NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Win 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.
Microsoft Chicken TM: It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road ...
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.
VB Chicken: USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)
Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.
Al Gore Chicken: Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.
COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING