Construction Dictionary

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AUDITOR - People who go in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.
BID - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.
BID OPENING - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
COMPLETION DATE - The point at which liquidated damages begin.
CONTRACTOR - A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut, or deal.
CRITICAL PATH METHOD - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.
DELAYED PAYMENT - A tourniquet applied at the pockets.
ENGINEER'S ESTIMATE - The cost of construction in heaven.
LAWYER - People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.
LIQUIDATED DAMAGES - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
LOW BIDDER - A manufacturer's rep, who is wondering what he left out.
PROJECT MANAGER - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
STRIKE - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.