| JAZZ | Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes. |
| BLUES | Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning. |
| WORLD MUSIC | A dozen different types of percussion all going at once. |
| OPERA | People singing when they should be talking. |
| RAP | People talking when they should be singing. |
| CLASSICAL | Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad. |
| FOLK | Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century. |
| BIG BAND | 20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer. |
| HEAVY METAL | Codpiece and chaps |
| HOUSE MUSIC | OK as long as it's not the house next door. |