Why did the chicken cross the road? (Star Trek)
STAR TREK CHICKENS CROSS THE ROAD TOO
- Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.
- Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But--if you can catch it, I can cook it.
- Riker: I don't know why, but I do know how: with pleasure, sir.
- Garak: To get to the other side? Of course not! Do you realize how ridiculous that is? I'm sure it was a simple matter of its farmer expelling it from the coop for...embezzling eggs.
- Odo: I don't have the slightest idea--and I don't particularly care...but then, I've never understood you ornithoids' need to engage in such pointless behavior.
- Quark: Now really, why would I have bribed him to do it so I could make a tidy profit in the station pool? Besides, all I know is that chicken tastes just like tube grubs.
- Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.
- O'Brien: Well, it's nothing a good pint or two won't fix.
- Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
- V'Ger: To join with the Creator.
- Sulu: To get back to San Franciso; it was born there.
- Troi: It was running...running away from...no, escaping...oh, Captain, it was fleeing from such -pain-!
- Kira: I bet those damn Cardassians were after it!
- Picard: Dammit, that's not for us to answer! It's his fundamental right as a sentient being to determine the time and manner by which he travels towards his goals!
- Dr. Bashir: I suppose it wanted to play some darts.
- The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing! (Inconceivable!)
- Sisko: I don't care -why- it was crossing the road! All I want to know is -why- it left the coop! So it wanted to "get to the other side"--there is only -so far- that my tolerance will go!
- Barclay: Uh, chicken?!! Where?!!! C-c-c-ommander, did I ever mention my problem with small feathered things?
- Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.
- The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
- Hugh the Borg: Maybe it wanted to be my friend.
- Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll be there in an hour or two--but any later, and it'll be absolutely impossible for it to make it.
- Jake: To check out the babe that just came off that transport!
- Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
- Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!
- Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...
- B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the [BEEP] regulations of [BEEP] Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!
- Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.
- Spock: Fasincating, Captain, it seems driven by a beam of pure energy.
- HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here! I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew! All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
- Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.
- Sarek: Sometimes my logic fails me where chickens are concerned.
- Mr. Hom:
- Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue,and then there's...
- Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.
- Dr. Crusher: Maybe since he couldn't make the other side to get to him, -he- had to get to the other side....
- Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)
- Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
- Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...
- Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!
- Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!
- Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?
- Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time?
- Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...
- Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.
- Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.
- Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.
- Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock, I fixed you your favorite Vulcan plomeek and chicken soup!
- Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!
- Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.