Things You Learn From Your Children
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
- It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
- LEGO will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
- Super glue is forever.
- McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
- No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jelly
- VCR's do not eject peanut butter sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- The fire brigade has at least a 5 minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
- It will however make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.