The Canonical List of "Hot Cross Puns"
A. What do you get when you cross...
A fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
A policeman with a telegram? Copper wire.
A canary with a mole? A miner bird.
A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine.
A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss.
A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip.
A chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.
A duck with a steamroller? A flat duck.
An Eskimo with a pig? A polar boar.
A spider with a rabbit? A hare net.
A ham with a karate expert? Pork chops.
An owl with a goat? A hootenanny.
An Indian with a cow? Geronimoo.
A tiger with a needle? Pin stripes.
A termite with a house? An exterminator.
A dove with a high chair? A stool pigeon.
A parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
A rabbit with a kilt? Hopscotch.
A dog with a daisy? A collie-flower.
A hummingbird with a doorbell? A humdinger.
The Green Giant with Robin Hood? A Hoe-Bow.
The Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Half way.
A movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
Telly Sevalas with a pool table? A billiard bald.
A potato with an onion? A potato with watery eyes.
A dog with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.
A hedghog and a snake? Two yards of barbed wire.
A dog with a cantaloupe? A melon-collie baby.
A kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper.
An evangelist with a hockey puck? A puck that saves itself.
A pit bull with a collie? A dog that bites your leg off and runs for help.
A gorilla and a sheep? A very nice wool coat, except the sleeves are too long.
B. What do you get when you cross an elephant with...
A kangaroo? Big dents in the ground.
A skunk? Very few friends.
A mouse? Very large holes in the baseboards.
A beaver? Hoover Dam.
A dairy cow? Peanut butter.
A sheep? Enough wool to knit a skyscraper.
A Volkswagen? A little car with a big trunk.
A duck and a light bulb? A huge electric bill.
A cat? Something that purrs as it squashes you.
A peach? A ten-ton ball of fuzz charging at you.
A shotgun? An elephant with a double-barrelled trunk.
A jack o'lantern? A huge pumpkin with a fire extinguisher.
A rhinoceros? Elephino!
Peanut butter? Either peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
What does the cross between a parrot and an elephant say? "Polly want a cracker ... NOW!"