Thoughts on Golf

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• In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
• The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.
• Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
• Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
• The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
• There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly, or start cheating.
• An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging.
• Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.
• Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
• Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments.
• There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.