| 12 Tone Scale | The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with |
| A 440 | The highway that runs around Nashville |
| Aeolian Mode | How you like Mama's cherry pie |
| Altos | Not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" or "Dori-toes" |
| Arpeggio | "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?" |
| Bach Chorale | The place behind the barn where you keep the horses |
| Bass | The things you run around in softball |
| Bassoon | Typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when |
| Big Band | When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players |
| Bossa Nova | The car your foreman drives |
| Cadenza | That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes |
| Cello | The proper way to answer the phone |
| Clarinet | Name for your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo |
| Clef | What you try never to fall off of |
| Bass Clef | Where you wind up if you do fall off |
| Conductor | The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham |
| Cut Time | Parole |
| Cymbal | What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with |
| Diminished Fifth | An empty bottle of Jack Daniels |
| First Inversion | Grandpa's battle group at Normandy |
| French Horn | Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m. |
| Major Scale | What you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!" |
| Melodic Minor | Loretta Lynn's singing dad |
| Minor Third | Your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling |
| Order of Sharps | What a wimp gets at the bar |
| Passing Tone | Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues |
| Perfect Fifth | A full bottle of Jack Daniels |
| Perfect Pitch | The smooth coating on a freshly paved road |
| Pianissimo | "Refill this beer bottle" |
| Portamento | A foreign country you've always wanted to see |
| Quarter Tone | What most standard pickups can haul |
| Relative Major | An uncle in the Marine Corps |
| Relative Minor | A girlfriend |
| Repeat | What you do until they just expel you |
| Ritard | There's one in every family |
| Sonata | What you get from a bad cold or hay fever |
| Staccato | How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home |
| Tempo | Good choice for a used car |
| Time Signature | What you need from your boss if you forget to clock in |
| Transpositions | Men who wear dresses |
| Treble | Women ain't nothin' but |
| Tuba | A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!" |
| Whole Note | What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year |