Top Ten Star Trek Lists
The Top Ten Classes at Starfleet Academy
The Top Ten April Fool's Jokes on the Enterprise
- Command 302: Wining in No-Win Situations
- Communications 101: Opening Hailing Frequencies
- Space Law 206: Avoiding Court-Martial
- Navigation 101: Standard Orbits
- Philosophy 203: Why All Major Systems Fail at the Same Time
- Command 255: Choosing Minor Landing Party Members Who Will Die
- Astrophysics 199: Recognizing Unknown Phenomenon
- Command 309: Creative Obedience to Starfleet Orders
- Engineering 422: Making Radical Technological Advances Under Time Pressure
- Space Law 499: The Prime Directive and How to get around it
The Top Ten changes if Starfleet has sponsors
- Everybody act like Riker is the captain
- Pretend you've been taken over by an alien being
- Program the replicator in Troi's room so that it won't make chocolate
- Replay file tape of Borg ship on main viewer
- Tell Data that Starfleet has decided to dismantle him
- Put a small speaker in Dr. Crusher's bedroom to play garbled voices
- Lock Picard in the children's schoolroom with several children and no adults
- Substitute some of Dr. Crusher's moss with moss showing 24 hours more growth
- Put a sign on Worf's back that says "Kick Me!"
- Yell into your communicator "Captain, the antimatter containment fields are collapsing"
Top Ten Bumper Stickers on the U.S.S. Enterprise
- O'Brien would say "Thank you for using the Federation Express transporter. When you absolutely, positively have to get there instantly"
- Starfleet uniforms would carry Pepsi logos and say "Pepsi, the choice of the Next Generation
- Main bridge viewscreen would have "VH1" in the corner
- Holodeck doors would say Sony Trinitron System
- Communicator pins would be in the shape of an alligator
- Mercedes symbol painted on the saucer section
- Turbolifts would have "OTIS ELEVATOR" signs
- Ten-Forward would have a large neon "Miller Litespeed" sign
- After communicator beeps, a voice says, "Thank you for using AT&T"
- Enterprise name changed to American Express Enterprise
Best Bumpersticker on Borg ship: "Blonde Borgs have the same fun."
- "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"
- "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"
- "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"
- "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"
- "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"
- "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."
- "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"
- "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"
- "We brake for cubes!"
- "Wesley On Board!"