Top Ten Star Trek Lists
The Top Ten Classes at Starfleet Academy
  1. Command 302: Wining in No-Win Situations
  2. Communications 101: Opening Hailing Frequencies
  3. Space Law 206: Avoiding Court-Martial
  4. Navigation 101: Standard Orbits
  5. Philosophy 203: Why All Major Systems Fail at the Same Time
  6. Command 255: Choosing Minor Landing Party Members Who Will Die
  7. Astrophysics 199: Recognizing Unknown Phenomenon
  8. Command 309: Creative Obedience to Starfleet Orders
  9. Engineering 422: Making Radical Technological Advances Under Time Pressure
  10. Space Law 499: The Prime Directive and How to get around it
The Top Ten April Fool's Jokes on the Enterprise
  1. Everybody act like Riker is the captain
  2. Pretend you've been taken over by an alien being
  3. Program the replicator in Troi's room so that it won't make chocolate
  4. Replay file tape of Borg ship on main viewer
  5. Tell Data that Starfleet has decided to dismantle him
  6. Put a small speaker in Dr. Crusher's bedroom to play garbled voices
  7. Lock Picard in the children's schoolroom with several children and no adults
  8. Substitute some of Dr. Crusher's moss with moss showing 24 hours more growth
  9. Put a sign on Worf's back that says "Kick Me!"
  10. Yell into your communicator "Captain, the antimatter containment fields are collapsing"
The Top Ten changes if Starfleet has sponsors
  1. O'Brien would say "Thank you for using the Federation Express transporter. When you absolutely, positively have to get there instantly"
  2. Starfleet uniforms would carry Pepsi logos and say "Pepsi, the choice of the Next Generation
  3. Main bridge viewscreen would have "VH1" in the corner
  4. Holodeck doors would say Sony Trinitron System
  5. Communicator pins would be in the shape of an alligator
  6. Mercedes symbol painted on the saucer section
  7. Turbolifts would have "OTIS ELEVATOR" signs
  8. Ten-Forward would have a large neon "Miller Litespeed" sign
  9. After communicator beeps, a voice says, "Thank you for using AT&T"
  10. Enterprise name changed to American Express Enterprise
Top Ten Bumper Stickers on the U.S.S. Enterprise
  1. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"
  2. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"
  3. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"
  4. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"
  5. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"
  6. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."
  7. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"
  8. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"
  9. "We brake for cubes!"
  10. "Wesley On Board!"
Best Bumpersticker on Borg ship: "Blonde Borgs have the same fun."