The laws of thermodynamics
Ginsberg's Theorem:
  1. You can't win.
  2. You can't break even.
  3. You can't even quit the game.
Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's Theorem:

Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based upon the negation of one part of Ginsberg's theorem. To Wit:

  1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win
  2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
  3. Mysticism is base on the assumption that you can quit the game