TV Movie rules

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How to predict the outcome of TV movies

• If a women is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
• Your car will always start immedaitely unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
• Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
• The suburbs are exciting.
• Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
• Good guys are always outnumbered.
• Good guys always win and get the girl.
• Good guys are always good looking.
• Ugly people are always bad guys.
• Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
• There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
• Court cases are all solved with a suprise witness.
• Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
• Cars will explode in all accidents.
• Everyone has a 'dark' secret.
• Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
• Haunted houses are never locked.
• The police are smart.
• good guys will only get shot in the arm or leg.
• All Chinese people know Karate.
• Murders will always be accompanied by sinister music.
• Rich people are unhappy.
• Teenagers are smarter than their parents.
• Indians make good cannon fodder.
• Thunderstorms spontaneously create murders.
• Computers never crash. a) Teenagers can access any computer by using their PC's. b) Computers know everything.
• When someone is dead or dying, there will be a trickle of blood from the corner of their mouth.
• No one breaks wind, except after eating beans.
• Nothing cures the blues like killing 30 ot 40 bad guys.
• Bad guys make elaborate inventions to kill the good guys, but never stick around to see if it works.
• Christmas Eve and halloween night last for three or four days.
• Movies based on true stories are made up.
• Police never wait for back-up.
• Undercover cops are too good to be spotted.
• Private detective work is glamorous.
• All baseball games will be wom with a home run in the bottom of the ninth and two outs.
• All police killings are in self-defense.
• Everyone wins in Las Vegas.
• Good guys don't take drugs.
• The world is teaming with voluptuous, young women who are desperate to have sex with pennyless young guys.
• Nobody ever has trouble finding good parking spots when they are in a hurry.
• High School students look thirty years old.
• Women never do housework, but their homes are always clean.
• Street vendor's carts are magnetically attracted to high-speed car chases.
• Everyone knows how to pick a lock with one tool.
• To kill a vampire, you must set out 5 min before sunset.
• Nobody ever realizes until the end of a monster movie, that everyone that went into that dark cellar never came out.
• The group always splits up to look for the alien.
• The last 5 minutes of any TV show will explain the entire plot.
• The last 5 minutes of any TV show will be stretched out for 20 minutes with commercials.