What Do You Get When You Cross...
- A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip.
- A bear with a skunk? Winnie the Phew!
- A canary with a mole? A miner bird.
- A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss.
- A chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.
- A dog with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.
- A dog with a daisy? A collie-flower.
- A dove with a high chair? A stool pigeon.
- A duck with a steamroller? A flat duck.
- A fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
- A gorilla and a sheep? A very nice wool coat, except the sleeves are too long.
- A ham with a karate expert? Pork chops.
- A highway with a bicycle? Run over.
- A hummingbird with a doorbell? A humdinger.
- A kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper.
- A mountain climber and mosquito? Nothing; you can't cross a scalar and a vector.
- A movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
- A parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
- A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine.
- A pit bull with a collie? A dog that bites your leg off and runs for help.
- A policeman with a telegram? Copper wire.
- A potato with an onion? A potato with watery eyes.
- A rabbit with a kilt? Hopscotch.
- A spider with a rabbit? A hare net.
- A termite with a house? An exterminator.
- A tiger with a needle? Pin stripes.
- An agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.
- An Eskimo with a pig? A polar boar.
- An Indian with a cow? Geronimoo.
- An owl with a goat? A hootenanny.
- The Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway.
- What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
- What do you get when you eat Uranium? Atomic Ache
- What do you get when you pour cement on a burglar? A hardened criminal.
- What do you get when you put the pictures of the Kings of Russia on a flag? The Tsar-Spangled Banner.
- What do you get when you roll a hand grenade across a kitchen floor? Linoleum Blownapart.
What Do You Get When You Cross An Elephant With...
- A Volkswagen? A little car with a big trunk.
- A beaver? Hoover Dam.
- A cat? Something that purrs as it squashes you.
- A dairy cow? Peanut butter.
- A duck and a light bulb? A huge electric bill.
- A frisbee? A hernia.
- A jack o'lantern? A huge pumpkin with a fire extinguisher.
- A kangaroo? Big dents in the ground.
- A mouse? Very large holes in the baseboards.
- A peach? A ten-ton ball of fuzz charging at you.
- A rhinoceros? Elephino!
- A sheep? Enough wool to knit a skyscraper.
- A shotgun? An elephant with a double-barrelled trunk.
- A skunk? Very few friends.
- Peanut butter? Either peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
- What does the cross between a parrot and an elephant say? "Polly want a cracker...NOW!"