You Might Be In Education If...
- You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick
- You find humor in other people's stupidity
- You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers free"
- You believe chocolate is a food group
- You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside
- You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card
- You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today"
- When out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child
- Putting all "A's" on a report card would make your life SO much easier
- When you mention vegetables, you are not talking about food
- You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce
- You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac
- You encourage a parent to check into home schooling
- You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in a middle school for at least five years
- You can't have children because there isn't any name you can hear that wouldn't elevate your blood pressure
- You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form
- Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like that?"
- Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time