New Crossbred Isms for the '90s
- Blaspheminism - "Take the patriarchy and stuff it up your Messiah."
- Antisocialism - "The heart of the Nation is the worker who works alone."
- Intercommunism. - "The proletariat shall not rest until the means of communication have been wrested from the hands of the bourgoisie."
- Andy Cappitalism - "Lend me five quid, luv?" "Cor, you're not investing in S&Ls again!?"
- Parterrorism - "Take this plane to Cuba or we overwater the flower garden!"
- Robotulism - "And in Detroit, another six dozen industrial welders succumbed to Mrs Dorfmann's canned beans today, bringing the total costs to..."
- Superegotism - "My conscience is bigger than yours."
- Seconaltruism - "I love humanity... as long as I take these pills twice a day."
- Salad Barbarism - "Emperor! The Vandals demand croutons! And forty stone of cress!"
- Rose Bolshevism - "...with just two minutes on the clock, Leningrad needs two touchdowns to take the game..."
- Siliconservatism - "Keep the Free Market free of foreign memory chips!"
- ACLUphemism - "I hear your son is a card carrying member of the... um... the Willie Horton Fan Club."
- Kleenexorcism - "In the name of the Lord, sneeze the devil right out of ya!"
- Hey Judaism - "Don't make it bad. Take a Seder song and make it better..."
- Christmasochism - "It's December 23rd! I must get to the mall!"
- Cecil B. DeMilitarism - "Rambo III, sweatier than ever, kills a cast of thousands!"
- Frayed Nazism - "We don't serve Strings in this bar."
- Malaproptimism - "It'll come out alright in the wash."
- Tresspacifism - "We're occupying this missile base until the arms reduction treaty is signed."
- Lollipopulism - "There's a Sucker born every minute."
- Max Headrheumatism - "Wh- wh- where's my Ben GGGGGay?"
- Sadism so! - "Shoeless Joe Jackson was suspended for whipping a batboy..."
- Aerosolipsism - "Just one person using flourocarbons won't make a difference..."
- Sugar Racism - "Black boxers are much better than white boxers."
- Eau de colonialism - "The perfume used by more British officers in India."
- Grand Malapropism - "The sun was obscured by the moon this morning in a total epilepsy."
- Safe Sexism - "Now there's a chick I'd like to use a condom with!"
- Bobcataclysm - "Lynxes will bring about the end of the world!"
- Pomme de territorialism - "We grew that potato, but our landlord gets to eat it."
- Sentenced to Prism - "A beam of light was incarcerated in a crystal today after it was caught going 185,935 mph over the speed limit."
- Land of the Lostracism - "You don't know the theme songs to '70s TV shows? Get outta here!"
- Original Cynicism - "What the hell, the garden's going to seed anyway ..... hand me that apple."
- Radioactivism - "Hell no, we won't glow!"
- Expatriotism - "America ...... love it and leave it."
- Ogden Nationalism - "My country 'tis of thee / and also of the lllama which, in my considered opinion, you'll never see / the lllama spelled with an l, another l, and yet another l, for a grand total, unless I've counted wrong, of three..."
- Soup du Journalism - "All the news that's fit to eat."