Undergrounders - redefinitions of words
ABANDONHow to tell if a man is married
ACUTE ANGLE36"-24"-36"
ADVERSEA nasty TV commercial jingle
AEROSPACEQuiver
ALIMONYBounty on the mutiny
ALIMONYCheck mate
AMBIDEXTROUSA sugar that is its own stereo-isomer
ANALYZEStructures used for hindsight
ANTABUSEStepping on an anthill
ANTACIDSProduced by ants when they're stepped on
ARCHAICWhat we can't have and eat too
ASTRONOMERNight watchman
ATROPHYAward for lack of exercise
ATROPHYSomething won by the bowling team
BANANAFirst three notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony
BANSHEEStag party
BARBERSomeone who makes fishhooks
BARRAGEAnger in the pub when the beer runs out
BASSINETWorth two in the stream
BERI-BERIPie filling
BESPECTACLESecond-rate epic movie
BEWAREHoney
BITTERNESSFemale heron
BROKERWhat you get in the stock market
BROTHERSoup maker
BROUHAHABeer joke
BUDGETTaxes chainsaw massacre
BULRUSHStampede
BURDEN OF PROOFHangover
BUREAUCRATPerson who cuts red tape lengthwise
BUTTERFLY NUTLepidopterist
CALL GIRLMa Bell
CANNABISMexican/Colombian joint space program
CARDIOGRAMTelegram to heart patient
CARPETWhat happens at drive-in-movies etc..
CARROTRust in your jalopy
CHAMPAGNEHypochondriac's symptom
CHICKEN FEEDA poultry sum of money
CHILDHOODJuvenile delinquent
CHRISTMAS ELFSubordinate Claus
CIRCULAR SAW"A rose is a rose is a rose"
CLAUSTROPHOBIAFear of Santa
CLONECell mate
CORALWhere sea horses are kept
CUBE ROOTSRubik's autobiography
CURATORDog show judge
CURTAILThe south end of a dog heading north
DAMNATIONThe Netherlands
DEBONAIRShe's just been asked to the ball by Prince Charming
DELIBERATEPut in prison
DELIVERThe first stage of a liver transplant
DEPENDBest place to put the diving board
DERANGEWhere the deer and the antelope play
DIEHARDFossil
DILATORBeats dying sooner...
DIODEEulogy
DOVEBird of pray
DOWNA terminal condition
DOWNCASTPerformers in Swan Lake
DRACULAThe first blood count
EGGSHELLRoeboat
EGOISTAn eye specialist
ELECTROCUTEWhat R2-D2 is
ELECTRON1984 US campaign slogan
ENDANGERWhat happens to a BARRAGE (qv.) when the beer arrives
ENDOPHYTEKnockout
ENEMANot your friend
EPICENTREBalancing point of a duelling sword
EXAMPLESuccessful dieter
EXCHANGEMoney spent
EXORBITANTSkylab
FAKIRAuditory prosthesis
FARTHINGAndromeda galaxy
FATHERHOODAn heir-raising experience
FAULT FINDERSeismologist
FELICITYStatic produced by stroking a cat
FELONIESGenuflected
FEMALEIron man
FIANCEENear Mrs
FIBULALittle white lie
FINE PRINTClause for suspicion
FISSURECertainly
FLATTERYDeferent strokes
FLATULENTBorrowed appartment
FLYWHEELPropeller
FORENSICMontezuma's revenge
FORENSICSTen
FORGETo write a wrong
FORTUNE TELLINGSeance fiction
FRACTIONATE16/2
FRENCH LEAVEMuch adieu about nothing
FRENCH TOASTBon appetit!
GEISHAMaid in Japan
GEOLOGISTA scientist who won't take Noah for an answer
GEOMETRYHere's looking at Euclid
GLADIATORHenpecked cannibal's after-dinner comment
GOBLETSmall turkey
GOOGOLBaby Einstein's first word
GRAPEVINEMedium for currant events
GROUNDHOGSausage
GUISETransvestites
GUTTEROne who removes entrails
HAMLETSmall piece of bacon
HARMONISEEffect of CS gas
HAY FEVERA sick crop
HEATHERWhat to do with a frigid woman
HERO WORSHIPWhat the galley slave does
HERPESWhat a woman should mind besides her q's
HERRINGBONEHammer, anvil or stirrup
HICCUPWhat a yokel drinks from
HIP JOINTPopular bar
HOMBRESenor citizen
HORSE FEEDOat cuisine
HYMENGreeting to an all-male club
HYPERTENSIONStress in four dimensions
ICBMsWhat the Eskimos have always had
IMPLOREFairy stories
INEvery direction of travel possible near a black hole
INCESTSibling ribaldry
INDECISIVEUnder the whether
INFANTRYSapling
INFERNOWhat to do when your girlfriend slaps your face
INGESTOnly kidding
INHERITANCEDead giveaway
INSECTICIDELettuce spray
INSECTICIDEThe bug stops here
INTERNWaiting in line
INVOICEConscience
ISINGLASSOn the rocks
IVYWhat the Romans said when playing golf
KALEIDOSCOPECollision viewing device
KELPWhat to yell when tangled in seaweed
KERCHIEFTop dog
KHAKIWhat you need to start your automobile
KILOGRAMLetter bomb
KILOWATTAnswer to question "Did you ever kill a qzertxl?"
KINDREDFear of visiting relatives
KITTENSCat litter
KNAPSACKSleeping bag
LAGOONPierre Sellers
LEGALISE20/20 vision
LEGENDFoot
LEGERDEMAINAccountants office
LEMONADERock concert to help fruit growers
LEOPARD FOR SALESign on a dotted lion
LIABILITYSalesmanship
LICENCE NUMBERBest thing to take when you're run down
LICHENCompare to moss or algae
LIGHTNINGFire from a madding cloud
LIQUIDATERendezvous in a bath
LOCOMOTIVEInsanity plea
LOGARITHMCanadian forestry music
LOGGERHEADSToilets for lumberjacks
LOOKINGA royal flush
LOWERA cow
MACHOZero miles per hour
MADAGASCARWhat Ford did
MAGICIANSuper duper
MALIGNANTAn evil termite
MANAGERSomeone who makes you feel old
MARTIXProcrastinator's April Fools pranks
MEANDERColloquial form of "she and I"
MENDICANTSomeone who is no good at DIY
MENTALLYNymphomaniac's address book
METRONOMEParisian underground dwarf
MICROCHIPSSmall fries
MIDRIFFHalfway through a jazz solo
MINIMALFeeling slightly ill
MISTLETOEPlant one must under-stand to appreciate
MORTICIANEngraver
MOTHGreen thtuff on the north thide of treethe
MUSHROOMWhere they train huskies
NAIVEDusk
NAVAL ATTACHEUmbilical cord
NECROMANCERGiraffe
NECROMANCERVampire
NEGLIGENTKnightgown
NEPOTISMPutting on heirs
NEUROLOGICALReplacing old logic
NEWFANGLEDBaby rattlesnake
NEWSPRINTThe 143 yards dash
NOVICEHe must be a saint
NUANCESisters of a new mother
NUCLEAR FALLOUTFission chips
NUGGETA flash in the pan
NURSERYA bawl park
OBESITYSurplus gone to waist
OCTOPUSCat with one life left
OHMElectricians mantra
OLD-TIMERSundial
OPINIONIrish wrestling hold
OSSIFYTo become Australian
OVERCASTPeople hired as film extras
OZONERegion of alphabet between N and P
PACIFISTCannibal's dinner request
PATERNITY TESTPop quiz
PEEROne who urinates
PLANKTONMicrofiche
POLARIZECold stare
PREACHINGJust before it hurts
PRINCE CHARMINGReignbeau
PROTEINSomeone who favours adolescents
PROTESTIn favour of England/Australia competitions
PURSUITCat's pyjamas
QUADRANTFour-sided argument
QUINTESSENCEChanel No.5
RAMPAGEVellum
REGALESecond wind
REPAIRTry to bring Chi-Chi and An-An together again
SARCASMQuiplash
SAVOIR FAIREThe Last Supper
SCARLETSign of a small injury
SCROTUMSmall planet near Uranus
SHAMROCKCubic zirconia
SHARKSKINBrother shark, father shark etc..
SIGNIFICANTYou can sign if I cannot
SPANKINGBum rap
SPOKESPERSONBicycle mechanic
STYLUSPig pen
SUIT OF ARMOURKnight gown
SUPERCONDUCTIVITYPlight of the ohmless
SUPERVISORA really good mask
SURFACESomeone really handy on the waves
SURFERMan overboard
TEARINGWhat you get if don't wash your cup out
URINALYSISDifferent from my analysis
UTERUSGift from your family to ours
VASELINEAn ornamental line on a Greek urn