The 12 Days of Thanksgiving
On the First DayWe give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.
On the Second DayWe bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard rolls.
On the Third DayWe praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.
On the Fourth DayWe thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.
On the Fifth DayWe gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of naked turkey carcass.
On the Sixth DayWe show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.
On the Seventh DayWe forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.
On the Eighth DayThe word ''vegetarian'' keeps popping into our heads.
On the Ninth DayWe check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.
On the Tenth DayWe hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.
On the Eleventh DayWe smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.
On the Twelfth DayWe apologize for running out of turkey leftovers. And everybody says Amen.