The Army's Definition of a Cow

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• A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine.
• It's encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical moveable supports, one on each corner.
• The front end contains: the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as, light sensors, air inlet and exhaust, bumper and a fog horn.
• The rear end contains: the dispensing apparatus and automatic fly swatter.
• The central section houses a hydro-chemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks, an integrated network, which is connected to the rear-dispensing unit.
• In brief the extremely visible features are: 2 lookers, 2 hookers, 4 stander-uppers, 4 hanger-downers and a swissy-wissy.