Painful Puns
- Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
- Income Tax: Capital punishment.
- A used car is not always what it's jacked up to be.
- Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
- To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.
- Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
- Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.
- Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.
- Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.
- How did the pig with laryngitis feel? A: Dis-gruntled.