What you always wanted to know about computers...

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• Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
• COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
• Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
• 2 + 2 = 5 for sufficiently large values of 2.
• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
• Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.
• My software never has bugs; it just develops random features
• C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
• C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
• >The information went data way -------->
• Best file compression around:"DEL *.*" = 100% compression
• Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
• The name is Baud......, James Baud.
• BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
• Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
• C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
• Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
• Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
• Backups? We don't*NEED* no steenking backups.
• E Pluribus Modem
• C:\> File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
• Ethernet(n): something used to catch the etherbunny
• A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
• An error?Impossible!My modem is error correcting.
• CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted:Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
• Does fuzzy logic tickle?
• A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
• 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
• 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
• Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
• Windows: Just another pain in the glass.
• SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
• Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
• Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
• RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
• Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
• All computers wait at the same speed.
• DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
• Press <CTRL><ALT><DEL> to continue ...
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
• ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
• E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
• Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
• All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
• Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
• "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
• DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
• Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
• Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
• Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
• REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
• Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
• Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
• Read my chips: No new upgrades!
• Hit any user to continue.
• 2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
• I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
• Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
• Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
• Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
• Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
• Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
• Backup not found: (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
• If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
• Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
• Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
• Real programmers don't document.If it wasn't hard to write, it should not be hard to understand.
• Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
• Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
• Your application has reported a Not My Fault in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F.
• If your mouse is missing, try the foot pedal.