ARIES - Just one. You want to make something of it?
TAURUS - One, but just *try* to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
GEMINI - Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
CANCER - Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
LEO - Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.
VIRGO - Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
LIBRA - Er, two. Or maybe one. No-- on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?
SCORPIO - That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchial Order.
SAGITTARIUS - The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
CAPRICORN - I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
AQUARIUS - Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...
PISCES - Lightbulb? What lightbulb?