Various Thoughts
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather - Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his bus
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
- 2 + 2= 5 for extremely large values of 2.
- If nothing sticks to teflon how does it stick to the pan?