Old PC systems

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If you're still using a 486 System (and earlier and other kinds)...and/or you're trying to get the boss to upgrade...

• Successfully think it is a faster unit by slowing down YOUR thought processes by 75%.
• Post a sign on it that reads "Caution: SPEED TRAP AHEAD".
• Use the CD tray as a Cup holder.
• Draw a bulls-eye on the side and toss powerful magnets at it.
• Set that leaking paper cup of hot coffee on top of it.
• Drill a hole in the face and install a battery clock that operates at half speed.
• Install a 56k modem in it and watch the whole works go up in smoke.
• Suggest to the boss he donate it to the archeology department of a local university as a specimen.
• Trade it in for one gross of pre-formatted floppies.
• A little changing around inside and hey, you have a desk side microwave.
• Resign yourself to slow loading, and sign up for AOL.
• Lift that monitor up to eye level.
• Use it as a footrest under the desk.

And, if you've upgraded but can't bear to part with your old system...

• Use it as a decoy for burglars.
• Bronze it.
• Hollow it out and: a) use it to grow mushrooms. b) build little shelves in it to store CDs. c) use it as bait box. d) A toolbox for your socket set. e) Play "cover the cat" with it. f) Hinge the front cover to hide that bottle of whisky.
• Use the memory and processor chips and: a) paint them to look like caterpillars and bugs for your desktop. b) make a mobile for your workspace.
• Invert it and use it as: a) a saddlebag for your mountain bike. b) a recycling bin for the weeks newspapers c) a magazine rack.
• Convert it to a hamster cage, complete with squeaky wheel.
• Use the sides as extra space for Post-its.
• Nice flat surface for folding socks and underwear.
• Keep it in the family, give it to your parents, it's fast enough for them.