There was {a physicist / an engineer / a computer scientist / a statistician} and a mathematician...
A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are given an identical problem: Prove that all odd numbers greater than 2 are prime numbers. They proceed:
- Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is not a prime - counterexample - claim is false.
- Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime, ...
- Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime, ...
- Computer Scientist: 1 is a prime, 1 is a prime, 1 is a prime, 1 is a prime, ... Yes, they're all primes.
When considering the behaviour of a howitzer:
- A mathematician will be able to calculate where the shell will land
- A physicist will be able to explain how the shell gets there
- An engineer will stand there and try to catch it
An assemblage of the most gifted minds in the world were all posed the following question: "What is 2 + 2 ?"
- The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".
- The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
- The mathematician cogitates for a while, oblivious to the rest of the world, then announces: "I don't what the answer is, but I can prove an answer exists!".
- Philosopher: "But what do you mean by 2 + 2 ?"
- Logician: "Please define 2 + 2 more precisely."
- Accountant: Closes all the doors and windows, looks around carefully then asks "What do you want the answer to be?"
What is "pi"?
- Mathematician: Pi is the number expressing the relationship between the circumference of a circle and its diameter.
- Physicist: Pi is 3.1415927plus or minus 0.000000005
- Engineer: Pi is about 3.
A statistician , a mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are out hunting together. They spy a deer in the woods. The physicist calculates the velocity of the deer and the effect of gravity on the bullet, aims his rifle and fires. Alas, he misses; the bullet passes three feet behind the deer. The deer bolts some yards, but comes to a halt, still within sight of the trio. "Shame you missed," comments the engineer, "but of course with an ordinary gun, one would expect that." He then levels his special deer-hunting gun, which he rigged together from an ordinary rifle, a sextant, a compass, a barometer, and a bunch of flashing lights which don't do anything but impress onlookers, and fires. Alas, his bullet passes three feet in front of the deer, who by this time wises up and vanishes for good. "Well," says the physicist, "your contraption didn't get it either." "What do you mean?" pipes up the statistician. "Between the two of you, that was a perfect shot!"
How they knew it was a deer:
- The physicist observed that it behaved in a deer-like manner, so it must be a deer.
- The mathematician asked the physicist what it was, thereby reducing it to a previously solved problem.
- The engineer was in the woods to hunt deer, therefore it was a deer.
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were travelling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
- "Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
- "Hmm," says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black."
- "No," says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"