Letter of Recommendation
The secret to writing a good letter of recommendation is in careful wording

April 7, 1996

To whom it may concern:

I am writing this letter to commend the services of my former employee, Mr. John Smith.
I most enthusiastically recommend this person with no qualifications whatsoever.
("This person HAS no qualifications whatsoever.")
I'm sorry we let him get away,
("We should have prosecuted.")
but I must say that Mr. Smith's real talent was being wasted on this job.
("He got high regularly.")
Mr. Smith is not your average, everyday worker.
("Every OTHER day, maybe.")
You won't find many people like him.
("In fact, most people can't stand him.")
Whenever he was asked to do anything, it only took a second to get it done.
("A second person, that is.")
You can ask him to do anything, and he won't mind.
("He won't DO it, but he won't mind you asking.")
Mr. Smith was always asking if there was anything he could do.
("We were always wondering that, too.")
Given the opportunity, I am certain that Mr. Smith will quickly forge a name for himself within your company.
("Don't leave any blank checks lying around.")
You will be very fortunate to get this person to work for you.
("God knows, we couldn't get him to work for US!")
All in all, I cannot recommend Mr. Smith too highly.
("In fact, I cannot recommend Mr. Smith at all.")

Bob Jones, President,
Acme Widgets, Inc.