Top 10 Reasons for Being .....
Top 10 Reasons for Being French
- When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
- Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
- If there's a war you can surrender really early
- You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
- Channel 4.
- You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
- Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
- humiliating your sense of national pride
- You don't have to bother with toilets, just go in the street
- People think you're a great lover even when you're not
Top 10 Reasons for Being American
- You can have a woman president without electing her
- You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
- You can call Budweiser beer
- You can be a crook and still be president
- If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
- If you can breathe you can get a gun
- You can invent a new public holiday every year
- You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
- You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
- You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
- When you're not.
- At all.
Top 10 Reasons for Being English
- Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah
- Warm beer
- You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
- You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
- Union jack underpants
- Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
- You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
- Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
- Ditto changing underwear
- Beats being Welsh.
- Or Scottish
Top 10 Reasons for Being Italian
- In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
- Unembarrassed to wear fur.
- No need to worry about tax returns
- Glorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
- Can wear sunglasses inside
- Political stability
- Flexible working hours
- Live near the Pope
- Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
- Country run by Sicilian murderers
Top 10 Reasons for Being Spanish
- Glorious history of killing South American tribes
- The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
- You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc
- The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
- Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
- Honesty
- Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
- You get to eat bulls' testicles
- Gibraltar
- Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
Top 10 Reasons for Being German
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- In-built sense of pacifism
Top 10 Reasons for Being Indian
- Chicken Madras
- Lamb Passanda
- Onion Bhaji
- Bombay Potato
- Chicken Tikka Masala
- Rogan Josh
- Popadoms
- Chisken Dopiaza
- Meat Boona
- Kingfisher lager
Top 10 Reasons for Being Welsh
You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!?
Top 10 Reasons for Being Irish
- Guinness
- 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
- You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
- Pubs never close
- Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican
- Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
- No one can ever remember the night before
- Kill people you don't agree with
- Stew
- More Guinness
- Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
Top 10 Reasons for Being Canadian
- It beats being an American.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
- A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
- Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins
- Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
- Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
Top 10 Reasons for Being Australian
- Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
- Fosters Lager
- Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
- Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
- Tact and sensitivity.
- Bondi Beach.
- Other beaches.
- Liberated attitude to homosexuals
- Drinking cold lager on the beach
- Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.