Job Screening
In order for the executive staff of our corporation to get to know you, the applicant better, we ask that you answer the following question: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realised that helped define you as a person?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls & crushing ice, I have been known to remodel train stations at my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning opera's, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and Godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single handily defended a small village in the American basin from a hoard of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Met's. I am subject of numerous documentaries. When I am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hand gliding. On, Wednesday's, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyser, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week, when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation at Disneyland, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a bakery. The laws of physics don not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are paid. On weekends to let off steam, I participate in full contact-origami. A year ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bull fights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling Bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with ELVIS.