Distaff Quotes
- Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as promoted as quickly as a male schlemiel.
- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
- If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary.
- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
- Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
- I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
- I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.