The All-purpose businessman's vocabulary
- A CONSULTANT - Any ordinary guy with a briefcase more than 50 miles from home.
- AN EXPERT - A person who avoids all small errors and sweeps toward the grand fallacy.
- A STATISTICIAN - One who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone onclusion.
- A COLLEAGUE - Someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
- A RELIABLE SOURCE - The guy you just met.
- AN INFORMED SOURCE - The guy who told the guy you just met.
- AN UNIMPEACHABLE SOURCE - The guy who started the rumor originally.
- A MEETING - A mass mulling of master-minds.
- A CONFERENCE - A place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
- A PROGRAM - Any assignment that can't be completed by one telephone call.
- CHANNELS - The guy who has a desk between two expeditors.
- TO ACTIVATE - To make copies and add more names to the memo.
- TO IMPLEMEMT A PROGRAM - Hire more people and expand the office.
- TO RESEARCH - Go looking for the jerk who moved the files.
- TO GIVE SOMEONE THE PICTURE - To present a long, confused and innaccurate statement to a newcomer.
- TO CLARIFY - To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.