Taglines
- $$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
- ((((((((((HYPNOTIC))))))))(((((((TAG LINE))))))))
- (((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
- (A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
- (A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
- (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
- (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
- (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
- (You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
- *ding* HUMOROUS TAGLINES FOUND, INITIATING THEFT SEQUENCE.
- /EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
- ==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross
- © Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
- 1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
- 1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation
- 10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be skitzo!
- 11 was a race-horse, 22 was 12. When 1111 race, 22112.
- 1200 bps used to seem so fast
- 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
- 1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
- 2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
- 2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- 2B, or not 2B, or should I use a biro.
- 3 dreaded words when making love: Is that it?
- 3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
- 43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
- 668 - Neighbor of the Beast
- 69 is fine...but 77'll get me 8 more...
- 9 out of 10 men who try Camels prefer women.
- 90% of all statistics are made up
- A bad day on the bike always beats a good day in the office!
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- A big enough hammer fixes anything
- A bird in the hand can be messy.
- A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
- A Buddhist nudist practices yoga bare.
- A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
- A camel is a horse planned by committee.
- A can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.
- A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
- A closed mind gathers no intelligence
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
- A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.
- A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
- A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
- A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?
- A day not wasted is a day wasted!
- A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
- A dirty book is rarely dusty.
- A drawing pin is an excited Smartie
- A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
- A few cans short of a six pack, Six short.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
- A fool must now and then be right by chance.
- A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
- A friend in need is a PEST indeed...
- A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
- A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
- A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
- A half moon is better than no moon at all.
- A harp is a nude piano.
- A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
- A library is an arsenal of liberty.
- A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
- A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
- A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
- A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
- A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
- A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
- A man's best friend is his dogma.
- A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
- A Metaphor is like a Simile.
- A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
- A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
- A penny saved is ridiculous!
- A perversion of nature....how exciting!
- A pessimist is never disappointed.
- A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
- A rolling stone gathers momentum.
- A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
- A single fact can spoil a good argument.
- A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
- A spanking! There's going to be a spanking!
- A stage? No, this is not a stage.
- A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
- A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
- A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
- Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
- Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
- Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?"
- Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
- All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
- All generalizations are bad.
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
- All generalizations are false.
- All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
- All hope abandon, ye who press ENTER here
- All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me happy.
- All I need to know I learned from my cat.
- All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
- All programers are optimists.
- All stressed out, and no one to choke...
- All that glitters has a high refractive index.
- All the easy problems have been solved.
- All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
- All things are green unless they are not.
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
- All work and no play, will make you a manager.
- All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
- Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
- Alone: In bad company.
- Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
- Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
- Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
- Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
- Always remember, you are unique, just like everybody else.
- Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
- Am I really seeking answers?
- Amateur Time Lord
- Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
- America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
- Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
- An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.
- An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
- An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
- An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
- An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
- An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
- An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
- An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
- An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
- An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
- Anarchy means ignoring things that really piss you off!
- And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
- And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
- And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
- And it's only ones and zeros.
- And now for something completely different...
- And now for something completely else...
- And now for something completely the same...
- And now for something ruder...
- And the days dwindle down to a precious few...
- And then it goes... BOOOOOMMMM!!!
- And there he was, reigning supreme at number two.
- And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
- Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
- Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
- Another fine product from Bastards Inc.
- Anthropologists do it with culture.
- Antidisestablishmentarianism!
- Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
- Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
- Any wire cut to length will be too short.
- Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
- Apple (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
- Apple (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
- Archeologists do it with mummies.
- Architects do it late.
- Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
- Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
- Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
- Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
- As easy as 3.141592653589793238462643383279
- As I said before, I never repeat myself.
- As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
- ASCII and ye shall receive.
- ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
- Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
- Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
- Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
- Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy.
- Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
- Avoid sexually transmitted disease; practice monotony.
- B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
- Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
- Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
- Bad breath is better than no breath.
- Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
- Bald: follicularly challenged.
- Bankers do it with interest, but pay for early withdrawl.
- Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
- Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!
- Bayseians probably do it.
- Be nice to your enemies, it drives them nuts.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
- Beam me aboard Scotty. Aye, will a 2x4 do, Captain?
- Beam me aboard, Scotty. Sure. Will a 2x10 do?
- Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
- Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
- Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.
- Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
- Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
- Better ... stronger ... faster!
- Beware of barking dogs that bite.
- Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
- Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
- Black Holes are Out of Sight
- Black holes really suck...
- Black Holes were created when God divided by zero!
- Blessed are the pessimists, they make backups!
- Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be dissapointed.
- Bliss *IS* ignorance
- Blood is thicker than water, and tastier.
- Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
- Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Born Again Virgin.
- Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
- Bother, said Pooh as the brakes went out!
- Boy Scouts do it in the woods.
- Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
- Brain dysfunction detected....
- Brain over - Insert coin
- Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
- Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
- BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
- Breast size multiplied by IQ always equals 69
- Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
- Britannia waives the rules.
- Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
- Bugger me with a fish fork..
- Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
- Bugs come in through Open Windows
- Bugs come in through open Windows.
- Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
- Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
- Bullets speak louder than reason.
- Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
- Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
- Bus error (Passengers dumped)
- But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
- But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
- But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
- Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
- By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
- C++ programmers do it with private members and public objects.
- C++ should have been called D
- California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
- Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
- Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
- Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
- Carpenters do it tongue in groove.
- Castration takes balls.
- Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
- Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
- CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
- CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
- Celibacy is not hereditary.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4.
- Chastity is curable, if detected early.
- Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
- Chemist: "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate."
- Chemists do it in test tubes.
- Chemists do it in the fume hood.
- Chess players mate better.
- CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
- Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
- Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
- Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him
- Christians do it with grace
- Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
- Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
- City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
- Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
- Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
- Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
- Cleanliness is next to impossible.
- Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
- Clones are people two.
- Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
- Close your eyes and press escape three times.
- Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
- Cocaine -- the thinking man's Aspirin.
- Cocaine isn't what it is cracked up to be.
- Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
- COINCIDENCE happens.
- Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
- COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
- Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
- Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
- Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Common sense isn't...
- Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
- Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
- Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
- Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
- Computer Operators do it upon mount requests.
- Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
- Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
- Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
- Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
- Computers run on faith, not electrons.
- Condense soup, not books!
- Condominiums are not effective birth control.
- Conformity obstructs progress.
- Confucius say too much.
- Confucius say: I didn't say that!
- Confucius say: Man with athletic fingers, make broad jump.
- Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
- Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
- CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
- Consciousness (def'n): that annoying period between naps.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Conspiracy: the opiate of the asses
- Constant change is here to stay.
- Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
- Converse with any plankton lately?
- Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
- Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
- Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
- Couldn't myself have better it said.
- Count Dracula - your Bloody Mary is ready...
- Courage atrophies from lack of use.
- CRASH: Normal termination.
- CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
- Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
- Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
- Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
- CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
- CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
- Cyclists pump it up and crank it out.
- Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
- Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
- D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
- Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean?
- Dain Bramaged.
- Damn this hobby is expensive!
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
- Database administrators do it with their relations
- Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
- Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
- DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
- Deaf, dumb, and blonde.
- Death benefits = oxymoron.
- Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
- Death is just God's way of dropping carrier.
- Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
- Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
- Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
- DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
- Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
- Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
- Department of Redundancy Department
- Deprogrammers do it with sects.
- Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
- DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
- Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
- Did you hear the news? A suicidal twin killed her sister by mistake.
- Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
- Digression is education.
- DILATE: To live longer.
- Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
- DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
- Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
- Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
- Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
- Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
- Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
- Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
- Disks travel in packs.
- Dislexics of the world, UNTIE!
- DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" );
- DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)
- Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
- DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
- Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
- Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
- Do not fumble with a woman's logic.
- Do NOT look into laser with remaining eyeball!
- Do not put statements in the negative form.
- Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
- Do steam rollers really roll steam?
- Do they make dog biscuits from collie flour?
- Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
- Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
- Does killing time damage eternity?
- Does Microsoft mean "small and limp"?
- Does the Enterprise use DOS v 2356.0?
- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
- Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
- Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
- Don't believe in miracles, expect them.
- Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
- Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
- Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
- Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
- Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
- Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
- Don't drink and drive - Smoke dope and fly home.
- Don't drink and park...accidents cause people.
- Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
- Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
- Don't just stand there...KNEEL!!
- Don't let school interfere with your education.
- Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
- Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
- Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
- Don't read everything you believe.
- Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
- Don't start with me. You know how I get.
- Don't steal - the government hates competition..
- Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
- Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
- DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
- DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
- Down with categorical imperative!
- DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
- Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
- Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
- Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
- Drilling for oil is boring.
- Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
- Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
- Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
- Dyslexics have more fnu.
- Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
- Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
- Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
- Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
- Economists do it with indifference.
- Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
- Electricians do it until it Hertz!
- E-mail Error Message: Mail not found ... Electrocute Sysop? (Y/n).
- Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
- Engineers do it with precision.
- Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
- Enough research will tend to support your theory.
- ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
- Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
- Evangelists do more than lay people.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
- Every purchase has its price.
- Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.
- Every why hath a wherefore.
- Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
- Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
- Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
- Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
- Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
- Everything in our favor was against us.
- Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
- Excellent time to become a missing person.
- Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
- Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
- EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
- Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
- Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
- Fact is solidified opinion
- Fad: In one era and out the other.
- Failure is at the end of the path of least persistence.
- Falling doesn't kill people. ... It's the deceleration trauma.
- Familiarity breeds attempt
- Familiarity breeds children.
- Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
- Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
- Famous last words - Jesus Christ: Father, beam me up.
- Famous last words - Lion at the Circus of Rome: Burp..
- Famous last words - You and what army?
- Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
- Features should be discovered, not documented.
- Few women admit their age, Few men act it!
- Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
- File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
- Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
- Firemen do it wearing rubber.
- Firemen do it with a big hose.
- Firemen find `em hot, and leave `em wet!
- Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
- Floggings will continue until morale improves.
- FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
- Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
- Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
- Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
- For a reply send a self-abused stomped antelope to:
- For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
- For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
- For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
- For Reply, send a self-abused stomped Antelope to...
- FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
- Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
- Four hours to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
- Free advice is worth what you pay for it
- Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
- Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
- Friction can be a drag sometimes.
- Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
- Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
- Genitalia is not an Italian airline.
- Get a taste of religion.....bite a nun!
- Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
- Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
- Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
- God I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!
- Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
- GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
- H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
- Hackito ergo sum.
- Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
- Happiness is finding special characters
- Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
- Hard work must have killed someone!
- Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
- HARDWARE: n. The part you kick.
- Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
- Hasten to laugh at life ... lest you be obliged to weep.
- Have an adequate day.
- Have cursor, will curse.
- Have Tardis, will travel.
- Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
- He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
- He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
- He who laughs last probably made a backup.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- He who laughs, lasts.
- Heisenberg slept here, I think.
- Help fight continental drift.
- Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
- Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
- He's dead, Jim. You take his phaser, I'll get his wallet
- He's dim, Jed
- He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
- Hindsight is always 20:20.
- Hindsight is an exact science.
- Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07[NO CARRIER
- Honey, I'll be down in 10 minutes, I promise this time.
- Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
- Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better"
- Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
- How come wrong numbers are never busy?
- How do I set my laser printer for stun?
- How do you make a cat bark? Douse it with gasoline and throw in a lighted match. ... Woof!
- How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
- How does one expect the unexpected?
- How many weeks are there in a light year?
- Hypertrichologists do it with intensity.
- Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
- I am a vampire. Please wash your neck.
- I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- I am functioning within established parameters.
- I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
- I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
- I can resist everything except temptation.
- I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
- I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
- I could be arguing in my spare time.
- I couldn't care less about apathy.
- I distinctly remember forgetting that.
- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
- I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
- I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
- I have a speech impediment... my foot.
- I have already not made that point
- I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
- I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
- I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
- I know everything about everything, except that.
- I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
- I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
- I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
- I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
- I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
- I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
- I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
- I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
- I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
- I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
- I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving!
- I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
- I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
- I think we may be in for a bad spell of wether.
- I thought I was mistaken but I was mistaken.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
- I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
- I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
- I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
- I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
- I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
- If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
- If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
- If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
- If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous...
- If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
- If it has tits or tires, there will be problems.
- If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
- If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
- If it's too loud, you're too old.
- If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille
- If only women came with pulldown menus and online help.
- If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
- If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
- If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
- If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
- If you stomp gripes, do you get whine?
- If you toss a young cat out the window is that "Kitty Litter?"
- I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
- I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
- I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
- I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
- I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV
- I'm not even going to ignore that.
- I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
- I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
- I'm on the crest of a slump.
- I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?
- I'm Serfectly Pober.
- I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
- In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
- INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
- Is a pirate ship a thugboat?
- Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?
- Is is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
- Is there such a thing as a closet claustrophobic?
- It is bad luck to be superstitious.
- It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
- It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
- It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end.
- It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
- It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
- It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs
- I've had a hard drive, think I'll crash.
- Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
- Justice: A decision in your favor.
- KARAOKE is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
- Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
- Keyboard? How quaint! - Scotty
- Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
- Kleptomania: take something for it
- Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
- Lawyers: The larval form of politicians.
- Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
- Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
- Life is anything that dies when you stomp it!
- Life would be easier if I had the source code.
- LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
- Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
- Love is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
- Make headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
- Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
- Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
- Marriage? Sorry, I can't mate in captivity.
- Math is the language God used to write the universe.
- Mathematicians do it in theory.
- May you live in interesting times.
- May your life be filled with experiences.
- Microfiche: Sardines.
- Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.
- Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
- Mondays are the potholes in the road of life
- Mother is the invention of necessity.
- Multitasking causes schizophrenia.
- My computer has a terminal illness
- My karma ran over your dogma.
- My lord, I have a cunning plan...
- My other computer is a abacus.
- My reality check just bounced.
- Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
- NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
- Neurotic: Self-taut person.
- Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
- Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
- Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Never say, "Oops!"; always say, "Ah, interesting!"
- Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
- Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
- Nothing recedes like success.
- Nothing succeeds like excess.
- Nudist Camp sign - Sorry, Clothed for Winter.
- Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
- Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
- Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!
- Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
- On a clear disk you can seek forever.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
- One good turn gets most of the blanket.
- One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
- Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
- Oversexed people are more prone....
- Pascal: What's it Wirth?
- Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."
- Philosophers think about doing it.
- Physicists do it with charm.
- Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
- Please return stewardess to original upright position
- Poets go from bad to verse
- Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
- Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
- Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
- Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
- Pretend to spank me. I'm a pseudo-masochist.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
- Programmers get overlaid!
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting.
- Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
- Read what I mean, not what I write.
- Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
- Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
- Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
- REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable To Recover Universe
- Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
- Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
- Rubber bands have snappy endings!
- Sarcasm: barbed ire.
- Save energy: be apathetic.
- Save trees, eat beavers.
- Say it with flowers - Give her a triffid.
- Schizophrenia rules. OK. OK.
- Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~ NO CARRIER
- Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
- Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
- She was only a moonshiner, but I loved her still!
- Shhhhhhh; the secrets of the Internet are at .....^*& %*$^^^^^^^^^ NO CARRIER.
- Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
- Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
- Some days, nothing goes left.
- Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
- Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
- Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
- Spice is the variety of life.
- STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
- Suicide Hotline...please hold.
- Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
- Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
- Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
- Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
- The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
- The best way to win an argument is to be right.
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
- The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
- The first myth of management is that it exists.
- The future is like the present, only longer.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- The Silent Majority of today are the slaves of tomorrow.
- The time for action is past! NOW is the time for the senseless bickering.
- The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
- The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
- There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
- Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- Tis better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
- Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
- To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
- Toad (def'n): It is what happens to an illegally parked frog.
- Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
- Tribble math: * + * = ***********************
- Two elephants fell off a cliff. Boom Boom.
- Two heads are more numerous than one.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
- Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes!
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Virginity can be cured.
- Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
- Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
- Vulcans have less fun.
- Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
- Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
- We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
- We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
- What colour is a chameleon on a mirror?
- What do you have when you have a lawyer up to his neck in concrete? Not enough concrete.
- When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect "Hungry"
- When there's a will, I want to be in it!
- Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled "fonetik?"
- Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
- Without music, life would be a mistake.
- WOMAN.ZIP... Great program but no documentation.
- Women do come with instructions; ask them.
- Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due
- yip yip yip yip yap yap yip ... ... *BANG* ... ^^^^^^^^ NO TERRIER
- pr2. Nooo! Pie R round, crispbread R square!
- p seconds is a nanocentury.