In the Stock Market today
- Helium was up,
- Feathers were down, and paper was stationery.
- Weights were up in heavy trading.
- Fluorescent tubes were down in light trading.
- Light switches were off.
- Knives were up sharply.
- Cows were steered into a bull market.
- Pencils were down a few points.
- Hiking equipment was trailing.
- Elevators were up.
- Escalators experienced a slight decline.
- Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
- Pain relievers soared. (Sore)
- Diapers were unchanged.
- The major shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
- Prunes plum-meted.
- Coca Cola was pop-ular amongst traders.
- Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
- Sun peaked at mid-day.
- Balloon prices were inflated.
- There was heavy trading in metals,
- ... and the bottom fell out of disposable diapers.