Why Men Can't Win
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist
If you stay home and do the housework, you are a wimp
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism.
If she gets job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination
If she asks you, it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
If you don't, you are gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
If you don't, you are unromantic
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don't, you are a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don't, you are not thoughtful.
If you are proud of your achievements, you are big headed.
If you don't, you are not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she is tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.