Glossary of PC Messages

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• It says: "Press Any Key" - It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
• It says: "Press A Key" - (This one's a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the "A" key.)
• It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" - It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
• It says: "Installing program to C:\...." - It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into C:\windows and C:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
• It says: "Please insert disk 11" - It means: "Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks."
• It says: "Not enough memory" - It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."
• It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...." - It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
• It says: "Please Wait...." - It means: "... Indefinitely."
• It says: "Directory does not exist...." - It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
• It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close." - It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."