More Aphorisms

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• Incontinence Hotline...Can you hold, please?
• Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...
• If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.
• Would the Standing Committee please sit down?
• 43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
• The difference between tax avoiding and evasion is 10 Years.
• Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
• A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
• Madness takes its toll; please have exact change...
• It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit.
• For a REAL sponge cake, BORROW all the ingredients.
• Bacon & eggs - Hens are involved but pigs are committed.
• Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
• |||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.
• Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
• Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!
• Paper clips are the larval stage of coat hangers.
• One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
• One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
• To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
• The older you get, the better you realize you were.
• I doubt, therefore I might be.
• Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
• Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
• Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
• Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• A fool and his money are soon partying.
• Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
• If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
• If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?