This list has been compiled as the Laws of Cargo Cult Science seem at times to be equally divorced from reality.

• The Law of the Conservation of Energy: Energy can be neither created or destroyed outside the laboratory of a pseudoscientist.
• The Special Theory of Relativity: All motion is relative to the ether. The speed of light can be exceeded by alien spacecraft. Time dilation makes journeys to other stars very quick.
• The General Theory of Relativity: The local gravitational force is a function of the local level of meditation.
• The Inverse Square Law: The intensity of radiated energy decreases as the inverse square of the distance from the source except in the case of telepathy and the experiments of Nikola Tesla.
• Kepler's Laws: The orbits of the planets are a function of what kind of day you are having.
• The Laws of Dynamics: The behavior of randomly moving objects can be controlled by the human mind. The behavior of delicately balanced static objects cannot be controlled by the human mind.
• The Randi Exclusion Principle: Experiments only give positive results when James Randi is excluded.
• The Strong Anthropic Principle: We created the universe. (This law is its own parody.)
• The Fundamental Law of Nature: Nothing is impossible.
• Scientific Proof: Scientists are always changing their theories to match reality. This proves that scientists are always wrong. Corollary: Only theories which ignore reality can be true.
• The Law of Large Numbers: Large numbers of small experiments demonstrate the existence of psi. Small numbers of large experiments do not demonstrate the existence of psi.
• The Placebo Effect: If a remedy works as well as a placebo, it should be exploited.
• Occam's Toothbrush: If postulating an unnecessary factor makes your theory sound more profound then go for it.
• The New Age Law of Science: The laws of science are whatever makes you feel good about yourself.
• The Politically Correct Law of Science: Scientific laws are completely arbitrary. They were invented by dead white males in order to subjugate women and minorities.