Cowboy logic

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• There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
• It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
• Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
• Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be suprised if they learn their lesson.
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.
• Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
• A smartass just doesn't fit in a saddle.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.